“The more I love my wife, the more I love my life.”

“The more I love my wife, the more I love my life.”

Jon Gordon, American author and speaker

Barry (Many Years Ago)

 

Who hasn’t heard the phrase Happy Wife, Happy Life?

If our lives are a reflection of the five people with whom we spend the most time, this idea is worth a bit more pondering for us married folk.

Wendy and I are coming up on our 45th anniversary. Like most marriages that stand the test of time, we’ve been through a lot.

if you were to look at our wedding album you would see me with a full head of hair! If you knew us well, you might also note that none of the other couples in our wedding party are still together.

Living our vows and prioritizing each other on a daily basis keeps our relationship solid.

Being each other’s “person” is a key to all the smiles that create the happy wrinkles that come along for the ride.

EXERCISE:

Where and how often do you make your significant other your top priority?

What can you do today to demonstrate your love and live happily ever after?

“I love you a bushel and a peck…”

“I love you a bushel and a peck…”

 Image from Amazon

Today’s quote is the beginning of a song written by Frank Loesser in 1950 and recorded by Doris Day. My mom sang it to me as a child.

Pecks and bushels are standard forms of dry measurement. A peck is about two gallons. A bushel is four pecks.

This expression was used to emphasize large amounts, as in the love of a mother for her child.

With today being Valentine’s Day, it seems appropriate to let those you love very much know how you feel in some measurable and meaningful way.

EXERCISE:

Please read or reread one of my favorite books, The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman to help spread bushels and pecks of love to the special people in your life.

 

There is greatness in doing something you hate for the sake of someone you love

“There is greatness in doing something you hate for the sake of someone you love.”

Shmuley Boteach, American Orthodox Jewish rabbi, author, and television host

Image from Unsplash by Bethany Beck

In my mind, there is perhaps no greater love than that of a parent for their children.

Consider everything a mom goes through including birth, sleepless nights, countless diaper changes, runny noses, potty training…. You get the idea.

Of course, fathers do their part, but moms are clearly the unsung heroes of the world.

Their influence in good times—and especially bad—have given all of us the enduring support to be who we are today.

EXERCISE:

In what ways can you and do you acknowledge the greatness of the moms of the world?

How can you also acknowledge others in your life who do things they hate because of their deep love for you and others?

“Buying your kids the best will never replace giving your kids your best.”

“Buying your kids the best will never replace giving your kids your best.”

—James Clear, author of Atomic Habits

Image from Unsplash by Juliane Liebermann

A few weeks ago, we celebrated my grandson’s fifth birthday. In many ways, our multi-day extravaganza reminded me of places like Disney World, where they celebrate significant milestone events for an entire year.

I also related this series of events to the 5 Love Languages concept I’ve referenced numerous times over the years.

Although there was an abundance of gift-giving during these days, I took great pleasure in the countless expressions of quality time, words of affirmation, and physical touch offered by both family and friends.

EXERCISE:

How do you show your love to those close to you?

In what ways do you make it a priority to give them the things money can’t buy?

A thoughtful gift is a manifestation of love

“When it comes to gifts, it’s hard to overstate the value of thoughtfulness. A thoughtful gift is a manifestation of love.”

Stephen St. Amant, artist and writer

Image from Unsplash by Hamish Duncan

I have been reading Stephen St. Amant’s daily Savenwood blog for over three years. It amazes me how he consistently comes up with thought provoking and engaging posts seven days a week.

I’ve reached out to him numerous times over the years to acknowledge his efforts and we even had a couple of zoom calls to get to know one another better. He is indeed a very thoughtful man whose daily gifts contribute greatly to those of us who look forward to his many nuggets of wisdom and insight.

EXERCISE:

I encourage you to check out and subscribe to Stephen’s blog and other creative works at savenwood.com.

Children will not remember you for the materials things you provided

“Children will not remember you for the material things you provided but for the feeling that you cherished them.”

Richard L. Evans, 20th Century writer, producer, and announcer

Image from Unsplash by Ben Wicks

Do you have children or grandchildren? If your do, how many of them remember the gifts you gave them during the holidays last year?

To what degree do your little ones light up when you walk in the door empty handed but with arms wide open for some big hugs?

In what ways do you agree with the statement, ”The best things in life are not things”?  How do you show the people you care about the most that you cherish them?

EXERCISE:

Consider reading or re-reading The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman.  Over the years, he has expanded his work to include books related to children, teenagers and other groups.

“Love, like the ocean, continues beyond the horizon. And life, like the sun, shines where we cannot see.”

“Love, like the ocean, continues beyond the horizon. And life, like the sun, shines where we cannot see.”

—Author Unknown

Image from Unsplash by Aaron Doucett

A friend and client named Doug sent me today’s quote in a condolence card upon the passing of my father, Marvin, in early March.

Since my dad’s passing after a remarkable 94 years, I have noticed many significant signs that it was only his body that died. His spirit and soul are still very present beyond the horizon we can see with our mortal capacities.

As I was preparing my breakfast the day after Dad died, I looked out the window and saw a cardinal.

I’ve been told that when God sends a cardinal, it’s a visitor from heaven. Cardinals appear when loved ones are near. When you keep seeing a certain type of bird, it is usually a heaven-sent messenger of love for you. `

EXERCISE:

Take some time today to reflect on some of the important people in your life who have passed away. Note examples of how they continue to shine and show their love in your life.

Please reply to this post if you wish to share your own perspective and experiences.

“We are the warriors of light. With the force of our love and our will, we can change our own destiny and that of many other people.”

“We are the warriors of light. With the force of our love and our will, we can change our own destiny and that of many other people.”

—Paulo Coelho, Author of The Valkyries

Image from Unsplasy by Dewang Gupta

To process today’s quote, consider yourself one of the heroic characters in the Star Wars saga. Armed with your light saber—and of course The Force,—what causes and quests have your focus?

Where are you taking a stand for matters that align with your values and core principles? What friends, colleagues, and family members share these views you consider worth fighting for?

EXERCISE:

How can and will you more fully demonstrate your love and will to realize your destiny for yourself and others in your communities?

Friday Review: Love

Friday Review: Love

Happy Valentine’s Day! Here are a few posts about love you may have missed. Please be a peach and share them with someone special in your life!

 

“Love is a fruit in season at all times and within reach of every hand.”

 

 

 

“Because of a great love, one is courageous.”

 

 

 

 

“Love the giver more than the gift.”

 

 

 

 

“To give of yourself is much more important than giving a gift you can buy.”

“To give of yourself is much more important than giving a gift you can buy.”

—Steve Wozniak, Co-Founder of Apple, Inc.


WARNING! There will be a test at the end of this post!

Gary Chapman’s book, The Five Love Languages, has sold over 12 million copies and has been a #1 New York Times best seller for over 8 years. It has received over 14,000 reviews on Amazon, with 94% being 5 or 4 stars. And given its universal appeal to people around the world, it has been translated into 50 languages. The five languages are:

  1. Words of Affirmation
  2. Physical Touch
  3. Acts of Service
  4. Gifts
  5. Quality Time

Please note that only one out of the five languages is about gifts, and a subset are hand-made rather than bought.

EXERCISE:

How and in what additional ways can you more fully give of yourself to demonstrate your love of family, friends and others you care about?

Please consider taking the Five Love Languages test and share this expertise with those closest to you to discover their love preferences.