better persuaded

“We are generally the better persuaded by the reasons we discover ourselves than by those given to us by others.”

—Blaise Pascal, 17th Century French Mathematician

Image of quote

Image from Nonn’s

Our own thoughts, ideas, and opinions always ring true for us, having the power and leverage to move us into action. We participate in that which we create.

Leadership, stated simply, is the speaking of a desired future and engendering the “buy in” from others. Unfortunately, many of us often find that those around us are not on board with our brilliant thoughts and ideas.

A useful coaching strategy to turn things around is to elicit the thoughts and ideas of others, so that all parties can buy into a path forward that is mutually desirable.

EXERCISE:

Where would using the thoughts and ideas of those around you be a more persuasive strategy to forward a key initiative in your world?

“Your smile is your logo…”

“Your smile is your logo. Your personality is your business card. How you leave others feeling after having an experience with you becomes your trademark.”

—Jay Danzie, Success in Progress Inc.

Image from successfulandfit.com

Image from successfulandfit.com

Examine your personal and professional lives. Are the people in your communities buying what you are selling? Personal branding has been attributed to success in these domains, when it is done with sincerity and authenticity.

The quote “People do business with those they know, like, and trust” is attributed to Bob Burg, author of “Endless Referrals.” Take a look at those around you, specifically at your most trusted friends and advisors. How do their smiles, personalities, and the way they make you feel in their presence create that special enduring loyalty?

EXERCISE:

Go out of your way today to smile more often, share your most winning personality traits, and be sure to leave everyone you meet better off because of the time you spent together.

“One of the best ways to persuade others is with your ears – by listening to them.”

“One of the best ways to persuade others is with your ears – by listening to them.”

-– Dean Rusk, United States Secretary of State

Image from Flickr by Travis Isaacs

Image from Flickr by Travis Isaacs

The best salesmen in the world have a number of things in common. They are exceptional listeners. They listen more than they talk. They are far more focused on being interested versus interesting. They honor what others say and make sure that others have plenty of time to express their thoughts and opinions.

How do these qualities help salesmen (and people in general) be more persuasive? Consider the art of listening as a form of verbal judo, where the thoughts and ideas expressed by those we listen to closely are points of leverage that allow us to move them in a direction that fits with their own commitments and desires.

Exercise:

How can using your ears and becoming a masterful listener help you influence and persuade others in your professional or personal life?

Consider picking up a copy of any of the following books to enhance your mastery of this important skill:
To Sell is Human by Daniel Pink
Just Listen by Mark Goulston
Fierce Conversations by Susan Scott
Crucial Conversations by Kerry Patterson and others

You can also download a free copy of my workbook on Masterful Relationships
(Enter the password barrydemp (all lower case))

Lastly, you can read past Quotable Coach posts on relationships and listening.