If you see someone without a smile

“If you see someone without a smile today, give them one of yours.”

—Dolly Parton, American singer, songwriter, and actress

Image of the book Be the Sun not the Salt

Image from Amazon

How much time each day do you spend reading for enjoyment and personal growth? For many people the answer may be, “Not much,” with the add-on phrase, “Who has the time?”

If this is the case for you, or even if reading is a significant part of your daily routine, I suggest a wonderful smile-inducing book called, Be the Sun Not the Salt by Dr. Harry D. Cohen.

A key concept he shares is the idea of being heliotropic, which is the tendency for all living systems to be drawn to the energy that sustains its life. Throughout the 71 pages of this book, I hope you will find yourself nodding and smiling at its many nuggets of wisdom.

EXERCISE:

How and in what ways can you be more heliotropic and a more positive influence on others in your life?

Consider sharing a big genuine smile with others as a good place to start.

Friday Review: Sharing

FRIDAY REVIEW: SHARING

How often do you share what you have and what you know? Here are a few sharing-related posts you may have missed. Click the link to read the full message.

 

“Leave a little behind.”

 

 

 

 

“All who joy would win must share it. Happiness was born a twin.”

 

 

 

“A friend is a loved one who awakens your life in order to free the wild possibilities within you.”

 

 

 

Your attitude reflects your past

“Your Attitude… Reflects your Past, Describes your Present, and Predicts your Future.”

—Julie Davis-Colan, Author of Getting the Best from Yourself and Others

Image from Unsplash by Kate Joie

Take a few minutes to conduct two personal assessments.

The first pertains to your past:
What has your life been like up to this point, personally and professionally? Describe your efforts, accomplishments, and most importantly, your relationships.

The second pertains to your present:
Explore the same aspects of your life as they exist today. How satisfied and fulfilled are you? What areas delight you, and which disappoint?

EXERCISE:

Consider the idea that your attitude is similar to the purity of the air you breath, or the water you drink. What small – or large – changes can and will you make in your attitude to have an even more wonderful future?

Some of my favorite books you may wish to consider are:
Wayne Dyer’s The Power of Intention
Paulo Coelho’s The Alchemist
Norman Vincent Peale’s The Power of Positive Thinking
Napoleon Hill’s Think and Grow Rich
Benjamin Zander’s The Art of Possibility
Don Miguel Ruiz’s The Four Agreements
Richard Carlson’s Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff

 

No one wants to hear everything that’s in your head

“No one wants to hear everything that’s in your head. They just want you to live up to what comes out of your mouth.”

—Adam Grant, American psychologist and author

Image of a person holding a megaphone

Image from Unsplash by Clem Onojeghuo

Who are the blabbermouths in your life? Who are the people who go on and on about their ideas, beliefs, and opinions, and never seem to take a breath? How do you feel around them?

To what degree might people in your world place you on their list of those who are more focused on being interesting rather than interested?

What makes these individuals even more troublesome is that on many, if not most, occasions, they appear to be all talk and very little action.

EXERCISE:

Who are the people in your life who are impeccable with their words? How would your life be enhanced if you and others lived up to what comes out of your mouth more often?

Consider reading or re-reading The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz for some added wisdom on this topic.

Being a giver is not good for a 100-yard dash

“Being a giver is not good for a 100-yard dash, but it’s valuable in a marathon.”

—Adam Grant, in Give and Take

How familiar are you with the difference between a finite and infinite game?

In his book, Finite and Infinite Games, author James P. Carse describes finite games – such as sports – as activities in which participants obey rules, recognize boundaries, and announce winners and losers.

Infinite games, on the other hand, can have known and unknown players, and a key objective is having the will and resources to keep the game going.

To what degree do you play the long game by being a giver within your various communities? If all people stopped keeping score and playing only to win, how might the world be a far kinder and richly abundant place?

EXERCISE:

Consider watching Simon Sinek’s video The Infinite Game, to explore how this concept might apply to your personal and professional worlds.

Also consider reading Sinek’s article titled, The Finite and Infinite Game in Work and Life

Things do not necessarily happen for the best

“Things do not necessarily happen for the best, but I can choose to make the best of things that happen.”

—Tal Ben-Shahar, Israeli-American Author/Lecturer

Image of a sailboat on rough waters

Image from Unsplash by Alan Meceanu

Take a few minutes to reflect on your day if it is evening, or on yesterday’s events if you are reading this in the morning. To what degree did everything go as planned, and work out exactly as you hoped?

If things did not work out for the best for whatever reason, what consequences did you experience?

How did you react or respond, and what emotions or feelings came up?

EXERCISE:

Consider the metaphor of a sailboat. How might you adjust your sails and rudders of mindfulness and adaptability to the sometime stormy seas of life?

Feel free to reply to this post to share the approaches you take on a daily basis to make the best of things that happen.

Friday Review of Posts on Confidence

FRIDAY REVIEW: CONFIDENCE

How much confidence do you have in yourself and those around you? Here are a few confidence-related posts you may have missed. Click the link to read the full message.

 

“Inhale confidence, exhale doubt.”

 

 

 

 

 

“What would an optimistic, confident person do?”

 

 

 

 

“Every small positive change we make in ourselves repays us in confidence in the future.”

 

 

 

Don’t Be Smart Be Helpful

“Don’t be smart, be helpful.”

—Author Unknown

Image created in Canva

How do you participate in your professional and personal communities? How often do you find yourself sharing your knowledge, life experiences, and wisdom with others? What is your talk-to-listen ratio?

What if a trusted colleague or significant other took a survey of ten people in each of your communities, asking exactly how helpful you were through your various interactions? How would you score?

EXERCISE:

Using big esoteric words to communicate a simple point just annoys people. Before you speak today, ask yourself, “Is what I am about to say just me trying to be smart, or is it actually helpful?”

It is, of course, OK to be both on occasion.

Leave them with an afterglow

“Leave them with an afterglow, not an aftertaste.”

Dr. Harry Cohen, Co-Founder of Be the Sun, not the Salt

Image of a sunset

Image from Unsplash by Diego PH

Take a moment to reflect on the people in your life that always brighten your days. Look closely at all of their wonderful qualities, attitudes, and the genuine ways they share themselves and what they have with those around them.

On the other hand, who are the people in your personal and professional communities you avoid when possible, and who often leave a bitter aftertaste that lingers even after they are gone? What characteristics do they display that dampen, deplete, and darken the world around them?

EXERCISE:

Consider reading or re-reading the classic book, FISH, and focus on the concept of “making their day.” Perhaps take a quick read through Be the Sun and Not the Salt by Dr. Harry Cohen, for some extra “brighten their day” strategies, which I guarantee will improve your life as well.

When we do what we have to do we are compliant

“When we do what we have to do we are compliant. When we do what we choose to do we are committed.”

—Marshall Goldsmith, American Leadership Coach

Image from a3carpetcleaning.com

To what degree are you an “extra credit” type of person? Recall your early educational experiences, in which a special teacher or a special subject motivated you well beyond just meeting expectations and passing the course. They motivated you to experience new levels of excellence, achievement, and of course, greater personal growth.

What about today in your vocational and avocational efforts? Where do you choose to go the extra mile and exceed expectations versus simply doing just enough to maintain your employment (for the moment) and get by?

EXERCISE:

To help you make the shift from compliant to committed, consider exploring the work of Dan Pink in his book, Drive, to see how greater autonomy, mastery, and purpose will help you choose and eventually realize a far more fulfilling and rewarding life.