No one wants to hear everything that’s in your head

“No one wants to hear everything that’s in your head. They just want you to live up to what comes out of your mouth.”

—Adam Grant, American psychologist and author

Image of a person holding a megaphone

Image from Unsplash by Clem Onojeghuo

Who are the blabbermouths in your life? Who are the people who go on and on about their ideas, beliefs, and opinions, and never seem to take a breath? How do you feel around them?

To what degree might people in your world place you on their list of those who are more focused on being interesting rather than interested?

What makes these individuals even more troublesome is that on many, if not most, occasions, they appear to be all talk and very little action.

EXERCISE:

Who are the people in your life who are impeccable with their words? How would your life be enhanced if you and others lived up to what comes out of your mouth more often?

Consider reading or re-reading The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz for some added wisdom on this topic.

Friday Review of Posts on Accountability

FRIDAY REVIEW: ACCOUNTABILITY

How do you hold yourself and others accountable? Here are a few accountability-related posts you may have missed. Click the links to read the full messages.

 

“Don’t ever stray away from yourself to get closer to someone else.”

 

 

 

“You cannot talk your way out of something you behaved yourself into.”

 

 

 

“Quarrels would not last long if the fault were only on one side.”

 

 

 

When You Say YES to Others

“When you say, ‘YES’ to others, make sure you are not saying, ‘NO’ to yourself.”

—Paulo Coelho, Brazilian Author

Image of Book Cover

Throughout the seven years I’ve been writing The Quotable Coach blog, I’ve posted numerous times about saying, “Yes” and “No” to requests made by others in our personal and professional communities.

To add a bit more bite to this subject, I’d like to add the words, “Oh,” “Heck,” and even “Hell” before the No’s and Yeses, to see if it creates a bigger shift in how you react and what you agree to do.

EXERCISE:

Where would saying, “Hell No!” to others and “Hell Yes!” to yourself a few more times make the biggest difference in your world?

You may consider using the concepts from the book, The Power of a Positive No by William Ury to find more polite ways to communicate your decision.

Watch What You Say Life Might be Listening

“Watch what you say. Life might be listening.”

—Author Unknown

Image of a calculator and a balance sheet

Image from rentvine.com

Imagine you are given a special bank account when you are an infant, just learning to speak and understand language.

What you don’t know at the time is that the words you speak and hear have a form of value or credit to them. Some words contribute to your net worth, others drain and deplete your reserves. Some may even put you in debt, or a form of life bankruptcy.

Pay particular attention today to the words you speak and hear, personally and professionally. Notice how much value and wealth you create for yourself and others.

EXERCISE:

How can you fully listen and tune into the powerful and value-packed words of others? How can you more fully contribute to others by generously sharing only the richest and choicest thoughts?

Quarrels Would Not Last Long

“Quarrels would not last long if the fault were only on one side.”

-Francois Duc de la Rochefoucauld, 17th Century French Author

Image of two men arguing

Image from Times of Malta

How often do you observe quarrels in your personal or professional worlds? If, for some reason, you don’t see much, simply take a look at our political environment and the resulting media circus!

Since it clearly takes two to tango, why is it that many of us blame others for missing a step or for stepping on each others toes?

What if, instead of pointing our index finger at others, we acknowledge the three fingers pointing back at us and take greater responsibility for our current realities?

EXERCISE:

What would happen in your relationships and your world if you looked at what’s right and good about others, and take greater responsibility for the quarrels you may experience?

Often we change jobs

“Often we change jobs, friends, and spouses instead of ourselves.”

⏤Arkbarali Jetha, Author of Reflections, Combined Edition

Image of road signs of blame

Image from Time to Play

Are you familiar with the phrase, “Wherever you go, there you are?”

Although it may seem obvious, this thought has tremendous implications in regard to our happiness, success, and general life satisfaction. Simply look at all the people and places in your life that aren’t working, or causing you some level of upset and struggle.

How much responsibility and accountability do you place on your own shoulders in these situations?  How often do you blame others, or the system, for your dissatisfaction?

EXERCISE:

In what situations and with whom is it time to take greater responsibility and accountability for how you experience life?

Friday Review Accountability

FRIDAY REVIEW: ACCOUNTABILITY

What level of accountability do you hold, personally or professionally?  Here are a few accountability-related posts you may have missed. Click on the links to read the full messages.

 

“I have an existential map. It has ‘you are here’ written all over it.”

 

 

 

 

“If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn’t sit for a month.”

 

 

 

“Life doesn’t have to be perfect to be wonderful.”

 

 

 

 

Walk Your Talk

“You cannot talk your way out of something you behaved yourself into.”

—Stephen Covey, American self-help author

Image from nxtlvlc.com

Image from nxtlvlc.com

Actions speak louder than words. They are all we really have to turn our dreams of a better future into a reality.

Consider a business leader whose behavior is inconsistent with the core values and corporate vision he claims to follow.  Consider the individual who constantly brings up his interest in health and wellness, yet makes unhealthy choices and rarely engages in physical activity.

EXERCISE:

Where in your life can you bring greater alignment between your words and your actions?
To whom, beside yourself, will you make the promises? What added support will be required to ensure this new level of personal responsibility?

Don’t stray from yourself

“Don’t ever stray away from yourself to get closer to someone else.”

—Author Unknown

Image from www.scribendi.com

Image from www.scribendi.com

Imagine you are shopping for a new pair of shoes, a suit, or an outfit. In the process, you consider color, style, price, and of course, the fit of each item. When all the factors are optimized, we usually make the purchase. If the factors don’t fit, we usually save our money and keep looking.

What does it mean to stray away from yourself? Who are the people that best fit with your most authentic self? How often do you experience relationships with others that, on a gut level, seem to miss that genuine connection?

EXERCISE:

Where, currently or in the past, have you strayed from your values, beliefs, and priorities to get closer to others, even when your gut raises a red flag?

How can you use the same values, beliefs, and priorities to attract and engage the people who are the best “fit” in your personal and professional lives?

Focus

Follow One Course Until Successful (FOCUS)

—Author Unknown

Image from blog.ruzuku.com

Image from blog.ruzuku.com

One of my favorite quotes related to the FOCUS acronym is “If you try to chase two rabbits they both get away.”

In our “faster, faster” world, multi-tasking is a fairly common practice. Although this strategy seems to work in many circumstances, it often has drawbacks, particularly when we are faced with a very important priority. In such cases, even a small bit of distraction or taking our eye off the ball can have considerable undesirable consequences.

EXERCISE:

Identify one or two areas in your life where a lack of focus is having a less than desirable impact. Where would following one course until successful produce the greatest value for you today and in the future?