“When you say, ‘YES’ to others, make sure you are not saying, ‘NO’ to yourself.”
—Paulo Coelho, Brazilian Author
Throughout the seven years I’ve been writing The Quotable Coach blog, I’ve posted numerous times about saying, “Yes” and “No” to requests made by others in our personal and professional communities.
To add a bit more bite to this subject, I’d like to add the words, “Oh,” “Heck,” and even “Hell” before the No’s and Yeses, to see if it creates a bigger shift in how you react and what you agree to do.
Where would saying, “Hell No!” to others and “Hell Yes!” to yourself a few more times make the biggest difference in your world?
You may consider using the concepts from the book, The Power of a Positive No by William Ury to find more polite ways to communicate your decision.
Imagine you are given a special bank account when you are an infant, just learning to speak and understand language.
What you don’t know at the time is that the words you speak and hear have a form of value or credit to them. Some words contribute to your net worth, others drain and deplete your reserves. Some may even put you in debt, or a form of life bankruptcy.
Pay particular attention today to the words you speak and hear, personally and professionally. Notice how much value and wealth you create for yourself and others.
How can you fully listen and tune into the powerful and value-packed words of others? How can you more fully contribute to others by generously sharing only the richest and choicest thoughts?
“Often we change jobs, friends, and spouses instead of ourselves.”
⏤Arkbarali Jetha, Author of Reflections, Combined Edition
Image from Time to Play
Are you familiar with the phrase, “Wherever you go, there you are?”
Although it may seem obvious, this thought has tremendous implications in regard to our happiness, success, and general life satisfaction. Simply look at all the people and places in your life that aren’t working, or causing you some level of upset and struggle.
How much responsibility and accountability do you place on your own shoulders in these situations? How often do you blame others, or the system, for your dissatisfaction?
In what situations and with whom is it time to take greater responsibility and accountability for how you experience life?
“You cannot talk your way out of something you behaved yourself into.”
—Stephen Covey, American self-help author
Image from nxtlvlc.com
Actions speak louder than words. They are all we really have to turn our dreams of a better future into a reality.
Consider a business leader whose behavior is inconsistent with the core values and corporate vision he claims to follow. Consider the individual who constantly brings up his interest in health and wellness, yet makes unhealthy choices and rarely engages in physical activity.
Where in your life can you bring greater alignment between your words and your actions?
To whom, beside yourself, will you make the promises? What added support will be required to ensure this new level of personal responsibility?
“Don’t ever stray away from yourself to get closer to someone else.”
Image from www.scribendi.com
Imagine you are shopping for a new pair of shoes, a suit, or an outfit. In the process, you consider color, style, price, and of course, the fit of each item. When all the factors are optimized, we usually make the purchase. If the factors don’t fit, we usually save our money and keep looking.
What does it mean to stray away from yourself? Who are the people that best fit with your most authentic self? How often do you experience relationships with others that, on a gut level, seem to miss that genuine connection?
Where, currently or in the past, have you strayed from your values, beliefs, and priorities to get closer to others, even when your gut raises a red flag?
How can you use the same values, beliefs, and priorities to attract and engage the people who are the best “fit” in your personal and professional lives?
One of my favorite quotes related to the FOCUS acronym is “If you try to chase two rabbits they both get away.”
In our “faster, faster” world, multi-tasking is a fairly common practice. Although this strategy seems to work in many circumstances, it often has drawbacks, particularly when we are faced with a very important priority. In such cases, even a small bit of distraction or taking our eye off the ball can have considerable undesirable consequences.
Identify one or two areas in your life where a lack of focus is having a less than desirable impact. Where would following one course until successful produce the greatest value for you today and in the future?