“It’s better to bite your tongue than to eat your words.”
—Frank Sonnenberg, business expert and author
Image created in Canva
An important aspect of the coaching process is to significantly increase the self awareness and mindfulness capacities of our clients. With this in mind, listening and paying attention to our inner voices and words before they are put out into the world seems to be wise counsel.
Consider just how much negativity, judgement, and criticism you hear throughout your days. How much do you find yourself contributing to this in your personal or professional communities?
Where would biting your tongue and taking an “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all” approach prevent you from eating your words?
Try using the acronym W.A.I.T.: Why. Am. I. Talking. – as a technique to keep your negative inner voice on mute more often.
“Stillness is where creativity and solutions to problems are found.”
—Echart Tolle, Author of A New Earth
Image from Unsplash by Lee Campbell
One of my favorite books is Seven Thousand Ways to Listen by Mark Nepo. How many ways can you think of to listen? The point to Nepo’s title is perhaps what Deepak Chopra describes as “Living the Questions of Life” and their ability to move you into the sacred answers of your authentic self.
With this in mind, the practice of being still, quiet, and more patient with life seems to be solid strategy to letting creativity blossom, and to let the answers to life’s questions and problems reveal themselves.
Where and in what ways can you bring greater stillness into your world? How could this boost your creative efforts? How could it solve a few of those pesky problems that present themselves as you rush through your day?
“It is greed to do all the talking but not to want to listen at all.”
—Democritus of Abdera, Ancient Greek pre-Socratic philosopher
Image from Canva
Vampires really do exist.
Consider the individuals in your life who talk incessantly and rarely take a breath to allow others to express themselves.
In such situations, many people experience a draining feeling as if much of their energy was stolen.
Who are some of the greedy energy vampires in your world? Who among your family, friends, and colleagues, might place you on their list?
Where would far more generous listening and far less greedy talking make the biggest difference in your world? What action can and will you take today to make this possibility a reality?
“The way you listen to me impacts my power to speak to you.”
Image from ABC
A phrase often used in organizations with coaching cultures is “Coaching occurs in the listening.”
Perhaps no other factor makes a greater difference to the success of a coaching relationship than an open and receptive “Try It On” response to the questions and input from those supporting their efforts.
A closed mind and an “I Know” way of listening is like kryptonite to Superman. It saps the power from the parent, mentor, or coach.
A request for coaching, before and through all stages of these special relationships, is essential to the achievement of the gold medal results both parties desire.
How can you assure the highest levels of listening and coach-ability to realize maximum power and contribution from those committed to your success?
“Talkers are no good doers.”
—William Shakespeare, Richard III, Act 1, Scene 3
Shakespeare sure had a way with words!
I had to re-read today’s quote several times, letting it percolate for a while before I chose it for today’s post.
What was your first interpretation?
What other meanings might it have for you?
I first thought about an individual being all talk and no action. Next, I considered whether talkers, or those too busy being interesting to be interested, were bad people, arrogant, with excessive egos.
What is the message you prefer, or relate to the most?
What are your views on people who talk far more than they listen?
What would others say about your propensity to talk versus listen?
What relationship does this issue have with what actually gets done, and what you learn?
Feel free to respond to this post with your thoughts and perspectives.
“The soul has been given its own ears to hear things the mind does not understand.”
-Rumi, 13th Century Persian Poet
Image from changebydoing.com
Imagine you are able to visit a planet on the other side of the Milky Way, or perhaps in an entirely different galaxy, that has intelligent life.
Upon landing on this planet—which contains all that you need to support life—you meet an unusual human-like creature with three sets of ears.
The first set is like ours, which conveys messages to our brains.
The second set is connected to the being’s heart, and the third to their gut.
Considered the expanded nature of this creature’s ability to perceive their worlds deeply, and more completely.
What extraordinary messages would they receive, and what capacities would this ability provide?
How can you more fully access your soul by tapping into the quiet or silent messages that can only be perceived through your heart and gut?
“Silence is one of the great arts of conversation.”
-Hanna More, 19th Century British Philanthropist
Image from Flickr by Shawn Harquail
Many people think of silence as simply the lack of saying something. It is a void, an empty space where nothing is happening.
Today’s quote asks us to instead consider silence as a seed, invisibly planted in the ground. Active listening and sincere interest are resources that help conversation and ideas grow and eventually blossom.
How can you use the art of silence to enhance and grow your most important personal and professional relationships?
“Speak in such a way that others love to listen to you. Listen in such a way that others love to speak to you.”
Image from beyond.com
One thing I know for sure is that quality relationships result when our focus is on others rather than ourselves.
Being interested rather than interesting will channel your listening and speaking skills, to help you successfully navigate your professional and personal worlds.
Choose your words today, so that they resonate at the frequency others hear and appreciate. How can you tune into the messages and signals of those around you, so that you fully honor and show how important they are to you?
“I remind myself every morning: Nothing I say this day will teach me anything. So if I’m going to learn, I must do it by listening.”
—Larry King, American television and radio host
Image from Flickr by Ky Olsen
Have you ever considered why we have two ears and only one mouth? Why not one of each? Perhaps some higher power—not just Larry King—knew that listening is twice as valuable as speaking.
Practice using open-ended questions, including the all-powerful “What Else?” This follow-up & layering technique will help you speak less and learn more, at home and in your workplace.