“If you go looking for a friend, you’re going to find they’re very scarce. If you go out to be a friend, you’ll find them everywhere.”

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“If you go looking for a friend, you’re going to find they’re very scarce. If you go out to be a friend, you’ll find them everywhere.”

– Zig Ziglar, best-selling author and motivational speaker

Among the many positive qualities exhibited by Zig Ziglar was his focus on giving, and being generous to others. In this quote, he encourages all of us to give of ourselves through acts of sincere friendship – which in turn will encourage those around us to reciprocate.

The key is that we go first, instead of hoping that others will go first. There may be potential risk and the possibility of rejection – however, we know that without such risk, our lives will be a bit emptier.

Exercise:

Make the extra effort today to further extend your friendship efforts to those around you. Take note of the positive reactions you receive as a result of your sincere gestures.

“Remember that failure is an event, not a person.”

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“Remember that failure is an event, not a person.”

—Zig Ziglar, best-selling author and motivational speaker

Image from Unsplash by The Blowup

As a pioneer in the field of personal and professional development, Zig Ziglar saw clearly that experience – and yes, failure – was a critical factor in achieving success. Here, he is making a critical distinction about failure that retains personal dignity and self-worth, instead of correlating a person themselves as the failure.

My experience is that too many people fear the sting of “being a failure” – so they fail to even attempt new challenges, afraid that they will fall short in their efforts.

Exercise:

Use today to take bold and courageous actions toward your most desired goals, knowing that you are successful – no matter what – simply by making the effort.

“When you are tough on yourself, life is going to be infinitely easier on you.”

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“When you are tough on yourself, life is going to be infinitely easier on you.”

– Zig Ziglar, best-selling author and motivational speaker

In my earlier career as a teacher, a common concept that was often discussed was the “bell-shaped curve.” This ranked students against one another along a continuum of excellence, where only a select few would obtain the highest ranking. The majority of students ranked in the middle, with the remainder toward the lower end of the curve.

In this quote, Zig Ziglar suggests that we as individuals can set our own scale, where our measure of excellence is against ourselves. When we do so, our level of achievement often exceeds what those around us might establish as acceptable or even superior.

Exercise:

Where in your personal and professional life are you coasting, or taking it too easy, because you often still come out toward the front end of the curve?

Select at least one area where you will establish a “boot camp” of intensity and toughness to fully realize your potential.

Quote From psychologist and philosopher William James

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“Most people live – whether physically, intellectually or morally – in a very restricted circle of their potential being. We all have reservoirs of life to draw upon of which we do not dream.”

– William James, psychologist and philosopher

Most people discover that the reason they come to engage a coach is to live their lives beyond the restricted circle of their current perceived potential.

By discovering the reality of their own limited views of themselves, they can begin to expand this circle to explore and achieve a level of physical, intellectual and professional accomplishment that has been previously hidden from them.

Exercise:

To begin to discover the reservoirs of your life:

1. Observe the lives of others who you respect and admire for what they have achieved. Follow their lead.

2. Answer the following “fill-in-the-blank” question:

If I was twice as ______________ I would be able to achieve ___________________.

Please reach out to me at barry@dempcoaching.com to share your successes.

Quote From Playwright George Bernard Shaw

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“Life is no brief candle for me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got hold of for the moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations.”

– George Bernard Shaw, playwright

How often do you find yourself leaping out of bed, looking forward to each day?

How much do you love your work?

How extraordinary are your personal and professional relationships?

How much adventure and excitement have you experienced recently?

Exercise:

What adjustments and enhancements can you make today in order to set an example of a life burning brightly for others?

something to gain

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“If there is something to gain and nothing to lose by asking, by all means ask.”

– W. Clement Stone, businessman and philanthropist

 

Just Ask image

One of my wife’s favorite quotes is, “If you don’t ask, the answer is no.” A related famous Wayne Gretzky quote is, “You miss 100% of the shots that you don’t take.”

What’s the worst thing that could happen if the answer you get is “no”?

What wonderful results would be possible if you get a few more “yeses” than you may expect?

Exercise:

Where in your professional life have you been reluctant to ask for what you want?

Place a few post-it notes in your work and home with the following phrase, based on the famous Nike slogan:
“Just ask.”

“Life is short. Do not forget about the most important things in life, living for other people and doing good for them.”

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“Life is short. Do not forget about the most important things in life, living for other people and doing good for them.”

– Leo Tolstoy, author

How much time do we really have? If you live to be 80 years old, you have a total of 960 months – that’s 4,160 weeks or 29,200 days.

How many days do you have left to love your family, contribute to others, and make a difference in your personal and professional life?

If you happen to be 40, you either have half of your life behind you – or you have half of your life yet to live.

Exercise:

Given the finite nature of our lives, consider developing a bucket list of 100 things you wish to achieve.

The items on this list that do good for others count twice!

Life is about choices

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“Life is all about choices. How many people are trapped in their everyday habits: part numb, part frightened, part indifferent? To have a better life we must keep choosing how we’re living.”

– Albert Einstein, theoretical physicist

www.onhold.on.ca

Image from www.onhold.on.ca

As a coach, I often see individuals who are limiting their freedom to fully choose.

Which of these choices have you been fully intentional about?

• The choice of career or vocation
• The choice to be healthy and fit
• The choice of friends and associates
• The choice of how you spend your free time
• The choice of where you live, and the communities you associate with
• The choice of the thoughts and attitudes you bring to each day

Exercise:

Where are you currently trapped and limited by your everyday habits and thinking?

What new and intentional choices can you make to achieve a better life?

A Quote From Rumi – 13th Century Persian poet

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“Keep knocking and the joy inside will eventually open a window and look out to see who’s there. These promptings will lead you in certain directions – they’re the voices of your heart guiding you in the direction of your destiny. Have the courage to stand in the mystery of your life, and you’ll be advancing nicely along your path.”

– Rumi, 13th Century Persian poet

This summer, my daughter Rachel began her fifth year working for the Southwestern company. My understanding is that she and approximately 3,000 college students and young adults participate in this unique profession that few have ever experienced.

Their role is to sell books “door-to-door” over a 12-week interval. These extraordinary young people work six days each week, often for 14 hours per day.

Talk about knocking and prompting! My wife and I are often dumbfounded at the tenacity it must take to do such a job, literally rain or shine. The result for Rachel has been a phenomenal growth in development – she’s now a confidence, charismatic young woman who can relate to almost anyone.

Exercise:

Where do you need to summon greater courage and take greater initiative to knock on life’s doors and advance boldly along your path?

My Highest Aspirations

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“Far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them and try to follow where they lead.”

– Louisa May Alcott, author

Image from Flickr by Tommy Clark

Image from Flickr by Tommy Clark

There’s an often-quoted goals study from Yale University in 1953 indicating that the 3% of graduates who had clearly-written goals achieved far more than the 97% that didn’t. This study has been shown to be untrue.

There is, however, a study from the Dominican University that shows the following:

1. Those who write down their goals accomplish significantly more than those that do not have written goals.
2. Goal achievement is more likely when accountability is supported by a friend, mentor or coach.
3. People who also make a public commitment to others achieved more.

Exercise:

Write down your highest aspirations.

Make a public commitment to your goals, and ask someone committed to your success to hold you accountable. You can even call me at 248-740-3231 to tell me your goals.