“It’s not what you say, it’s what they hear that counts.”

“It’s not what you say, it’s what they hear that counts.”

– Unknown

453Image from Flickr by brizzle born and bred.

Learning how to communicate effectively is perhaps the highest priority for most individuals and organizations entering a coaching relationship. This may not be what they originally emphasize in the first meeting – instead they tell the coach they want to improve sales, productivity and quality.However, beneath most forms of achievement is a foundation of effective communication – and a critical subset of it is to truly hear and understand others.  A technique to improve your odds of being heard is to practice and master the art of listening to others first.

Listening to others is like emptying the other person’s “expression cup.” When we let others fully express their ideas, we create space for our opinions to enter the open spaces in their minds – especially if these are on the same topic as their ideas.


To turbo-charge your relationship skills and your communication mastery in the year ahead, look to your own ability to honor each and everyone you meet.

Seek to listen and understand others before you seek to be heard by them.

You may wish to download my Masterful Relationships workbook, which includes extra guidance on active listening. Go to http://www.dempcoaching.com/download-your-free-workbooks and enter the password barrydemp (all lower-case).