“When furious, get curious.”

– Author Unknown

Image from Flickr by isforinsects

It seems like there is a lot of anger in the world these days. Consider what you observe each day in such areas as our roadways, parking lots, social media, television – especially news programming – politics, the workplace, and even in our own homes.

How often are you the direct recipient of this anger? How often might you be a contributor to it?

Anger can be seen as the outcome of some triggered portion of our comfort zones, based on past experiences or events. The quote above is suggesting that instead of allowing the trigger to automatically generate an anger response, we enter a state of inquiring and curiosity to see what is behind this response – thus resulting in a more workable and peaceful solution.

Exercise:

Pay particular attention today when you observe yourself (and others) getting angry. Ask yourself one or more of the following questions to engage your inquiring mind and observe what happens:

• What emotions and feelings am I experiencing right now?
• What is occurring that is triggering these emotions?
• When else has that occurred in the past, and what was the end result of my response?
• What alternative responses are possible that will result in a more satisfactory outcome?

Consider picking up a copy of Susan Scott’s book Fierce Conversations to explore additional techniques that can assist you in similar situations.

“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else. You are the only one who gets burned.”

– Buddhaghosa, fifth century commentator on Buddha’s work

Image from Unsplash by Magnus S

No one in their right mind would ever pick up a hot coal to throw it at someone. In an instant, they would be raced off to the emergency room for treatment, and a very protracted recovery period. Most likely they would also bear considerable scars that would remain for years or perhaps for life.

Exercise:

Take note of the times when you observe the destructive force of anger today.

How can you minimize it, release it, or better yet, replace it with understanding, tolerance and forgiveness, to make for a more peaceful, accepting and loving world?