Friday Review: Self-Awareness

Friday Review: Self-Awareness

How self-aware are you? Here are a few related posts you may have missed.

“Can I get Caller ID for the voices in my head?”

 

 

 

 

“We learn who we are in practice, not in theory.”

 

 

 

 

“Contemplate your monk mind instead of your monkey mind.”

 

 

 

 

Short term results come from intensity

“Short term results come from intensity. Long term results come from consistency.”

—Shane Parish, author of Clear Thinking

Image from Unsplash by Brett Jordan

How often do you find yourself using intensity and consistency to produce the results you desire?

If you are like many people, you probably use a balance between the two to create an optimal strategy for achievement, benefiting from areas of steady progress with the occasional acceleration provided by intense effort.

In football, we can see numerous examples where extensive practice and running routine plays consistently can be the source of many wins over the course of a season.

In recent years the “Tush Push” has been used particularly by the Philadelphia Eagles to make short yardage for first down conversions or to score a touchdown. In spite of many defenders knowing the play, this intense effort of the center, quarterback, and running backs pushing from behind is particularly effective.

EXERCISE:

In what ways do you use intensity and consistency to achieve your personal and professional objectives?

How could you apply the “Tush Push” concept in your own world to score more points with the help of others behind you?

“No one ever tells you that bravery feels like fear.”

“No one ever tells you that bravery feels like fear.”

Mary Kate Teske, American multi-media artist

Image from Unsplash by Michael Dziedzic

For many of us bravery shows up as a willingness to act despite being afraid.

The connection between fear and courage can show up in a number of ways including:

  • Self-protection where bravery manifests as the courage to protect oneself from danger. This is often called “the fight or flight” response.
  • Demonstrating resilience to bounce back from setbacks, or working to reframe them as opportunities for learning and growth.
  • Being vulnerable and putting ourselves out there despite our insecurities.
  • Using anxiety as a catalyst for action in the face of situations that frighten us — such as public speaking or when trying a new experience.

EXERCISE:

In what ways can you cultivate courage as a skill by gradually facing life’s challenged with greater confidence?

“You are under no obligation to be the same person you were five minutes ago.”

“You are under no obligation to be the same person you were five minutes ago.”

Alan Watts, 20th Century British/American writer, speaker, philosopher

Image from Unsplash by Richard Burton

We recently attended a good friend’s 90th birthday party. The big event included about 75 close friends and family from far and wide. Besides children, grandchildren, and a few members of the younger generation, the majority of attendees were well into their senior years.

Along with a delicious buffet, they had a DJ playing tunes from the past, and a photo montage of our friend from the days of his youth until today.  It was remarkable to see how he and most of the audience remembered every word to these songs and to see how in many ways he continued to evolve during the milestone moments of his life. We have already been invited to his 100th celebration, in which — I am sure — he will be an even more remarkable guy than today!

EXERCISE:

In what ways do you continue to learn, grow, and evolve with each passing day? How can you be an even more intentional work in progress as you step into the future you?

“I Statements” can be a valuable tool

“I Statements” can be a valuable tool to enhance constructive communications. Pointing Fingers and Accusation Tag are games where everyone loses.

—Calm App Reflection

 Image from Unsplash by Brett Jordan

“I Statements” are a powerful communication tool that focus on expressing one’s feelings, needs, and perspectives — without blaming or accusing others.

Their value lies in their ability to:

  • Reduce defensiveness and hostility
  • Foster empathy and cooperation by allowing the listener to understand the speaker’s perspective
  • De-escalate conflicts by avoiding accusatory language
  • Enhance emotional intelligence and self-awareness
  • Strengthen relationships by promoting open and respectful dialogue

EXERCISE:

Where in your world are pointing fingers and accusation tag being played?

Where would the use of “I Statements” be used to cool down these heated conflicts and enhance your communications efforts?

Friday Review: Rest

Friday Review: Rest

In our fast-paced world, rest is critical to our overall health, well-being, and success. Here are a few related posts you may have missed.

 

“When things aren’t adding up in your life, start subtracting.”

 

 

 

 

“When you get tired learn to rest, not quit.”

 

 

 

 

“Sometimes, to keep going, we have to allow ourselves to stop.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sometimes a short walk down memory lane

“Sometimes a short walk down memory lane is all it takes to appreciate where you are today.”

Susan Gale, author, karaoke fan and pet guru

Image from Unsplash by Clem Onojeghuo

Music is a time machine for me.

I can distinctly remember Sunday mornings — in my youth — as the time every radio in the house played Frank Sinatra while my mom did the week’s laundry.

The laborious process of sorting, washing, drying and ironing was made more enjoyable as the family took numerous trips from the basement to the first and second floors of our row house where everything was put neatly in their place.

As my mom aged her memory began faltering, which added to other challenges she faced while getting older. One strategy we would use to brighten her days was to play her music which had the miraculous power to transport her back to her younger years of greater vibrancy and vitality.

EXERCISE:

What are some of the ways that trigger you to take short walks down memory lane?

How do these periodic visits to the past help you more fully appreciate how far you have come over the years?

We have never arrived

“We have never arrived. We are in a constant state of becoming.”

Bob Dylan, American singer-songwriter

Image from Unsplash by Nikoloz Gachechiladze

Recently, I took a Sunday afternoon the see “A Complete Unknown” — the movie about Bob Dylan’s early career from 1961-1965.  Although the film blended fact with a good amount of creative interpretation, I found it entertained a bit more than if it had been a pure documentary.

The film made a point of highlighting intimate moments of Dylan’s life between his performances, taking a look below his public persona to help the viewer see his evolution as both a person and artist with something to say.

In 2016, Dylan was awarded the Nobel Prize in literature for having created new poetic expressions within his craft.  The Swedish academy felt strongly that his work transcended the boundaries between music and poetry.

EXERCISE:

In what ways are you a work in progress? How are you continuing to write the ever-evolving story of your life?

“Does the other person want to be helped, hugged, or heard?”

“Does the other person want to be helped, hugged, or heard?”

Charles Duhigg, American journalist and non-fiction author

Image from Unsplash by Justin Follis

This quote was brought to my attention by Rohan Rajiv, who has been writing the wonderful daily blog “A Learning a Day” for over 16 years.

Since most of us are in conversations throughout our days, I found this question to be an excellent framework to enhance my many relationships — including in my work as a coach.

If we determine that an individual is seeking to be helped, they are most likely seeking advice and solutions to specific problems with concrete actions.

The people in our lives looking for hugs emphasize the desire for social connections, validation, and sense of love and belonging.

Although we all like to be heard, these folks in particular have a strong need to be understood and want to be supported emotionally without being offered direct advice and solutions.

EXERCISE:

In what ways can you keep Duhigg’s question in mind as you interact with the people in your professional and personal communities? How clear are you about your own wants and needs to be helped, hugged, and heard?

Practicing the middle way

Practicing the middle way means bringing moderation and compassion to what we do. Taking the extremes in our efforts rarely works for long.

—Calm App Reflection

image from Unsplash by Aziz Acharki

The concept of “Taking the Middle Way” has various interpretations across different philosophical, religious, and cultural contexts.

Here are a few I have found useful in my life journey:

From Buddhism, the middle way emphasizes balance and a path of moderation in spiritual practices and daily life.

In Aristotelian ethics, the middle way suggests that virtue lies between excess and deficiency.

In Politics, the middle way emphasizes an outlook that aims to find common ground between left and right-wing ideologies, seeking compromise and moderate positions on various issues.

In Self-Help and personal growth contexts, the middle way seeks to strike a balance between different aspects of life, such as work and leisure, or ambition and contentment.

EXERCISE:

Where in your world would taking the middle way help you avoid the extremes of life?

Consider your digital consumption, consumerism, health and wellness issues, and your financial management as possible areas to explore.