When it comes to our children, so often our lessons are caught more than taught

“When it comes to our children, so often our lessons are caught more than taught.”

Joshua Becker, American author, writer, and philanthropist

Image from Unsplash by Leo Rivas

How do you respond when given unwanted advice? During your childhood, how often do you recall being told what to do and how to behave? Look to your parents, teachers, and other adults at the time regarding how they tried to mold you.

For many of us, the do’s and don’ts of navigating our world were taught by these well intended individuals. After all, these were likely the methods used on them in their youth. To what degree do such approaches work to create the independent, free-thinking, well-adjusted children we all wish to launch into the world?

Children today are exposed to a barrage of messages from countless sources. Who are the role models setting the example you want them to catch to guide and support their journey?

EXERCISE:

How can you support and create an environment for your children and grandchildren in which more of life’s most important lessons are caught?

I’m always disappointed when a liar’s pants don’t actually catch fire

“I’m always disappointed when a liar’s pants don’t actually catch fire.”

—Eric Barker, author of WSJ bestseller Barking Up The Wrong Tree

Image from Unsplash by Pawel Czerwinski

What clues do you use to tell if someone is lying to you? Words alone do not tell the whole story, and many experts suggest we examine the 93% of communication that is nonverbal.

Some things to look for:

The hands can be a good place to start. People who lie are more likely to use both of their hand to make gestures.  They also tend to face their palms away from the person they are lying to, an unconscious move that indicates they are purposefully withholding information. They may even put their hands up to their mouths briefly, a sign there is something they don’t want to reveal.

The mouth is another area to examine. Pursing or tensing the lips is a reflex often seen that indicates that a person may be lying by omission and does not want to say more about a topic.

The eyes can also offer a window into someone who is lying. Not looking someone in the eyes or even a stare down hyper focus can offer clues. Rapid blinking is another tell to consider.

EXERCISE:

Consider checking out Eric Barker’s new book Plays Well with Others to discover his “Cognitive Load” technique to lie detection along with many other witty and scientifically backed ideas to enhance our capacities to work and relate better with others.

A great way to understand yourself is to seriously reflect on everything you find irritating in others

“A great way to understand yourself is to seriously reflect on everything you find irritating in others.”

Kevin Kelly, founding executive editor of Wired magazine

Image from Unsplash by Mia Anderson

The other day I found myself in a foul mood. Everyone and everything seemed to get on my nerves. My meditation session felt pointless, my daily walk was interrupted by neighbors wanting to chat and all I could sense was judgmental thinking and feelings of irritation.

Thankfully, I was stopped by a very cute dog named Keenan who was, fortunately, placed in my path to turn things around. His joyful enthusiasm and playful nature had me look within to see the bummer of a person I was putting out into the world.

EXERCISE:

How are the irritating aspects of others trying to tell you something about yourself? With this thinking in mind, how can you be a puppy of a person and make everyone’s day a bit brighter?

Upgrade your morning routine to get an even better start to your day

Upgrade your morning routine to get an even better start to your day. What small or significant adjustments will you make?

—Calm App Reflection

Image from Unsplash by Khadeeja Yasser

What do you include in your morning routine? How often do you need an alarm to wake you? How often do you push the snooze button for a few extra minutes?

What time do your go to bed? What bedtime rituals occur before your head hits the pillow?

When was the last time you experienced jet lag?

When have your circadian rhythms been knocked out of whack by changing time zones, daylight savings time, or even staying up extra late to watch a movie or go out on the town? When we do, there almost always seems to be a cost we pay the next day in our ability to focus and be productive.

EXERCISE:

Consider reexamining your bedtime and morning routines. What tweaks or tectonic adjustments can and will you make to get a better start on your days?

Friday Review: Energy

Friday Review: Energy

What energizes you? How energetic do you feel most days? Here are a few related posts you may have missed.

“Energy is contagious: either you affect people or you infect people.”

 

 

 

“A day of worry is more exhausting than a week of work.”

 

 

 

“The best cure for a sluggish mind is to disturb its routine.”

 

 

 

 

The chief prevention against getting old is to remain astonished

“The chief prevention against getting old is to remain astonished.”

Kevin Kelly, founding executive editor of Wired magazine

Image from Unsplash by Esther Ann

Regardless of your age, how do you stay young at heart?

The other day I was feeling my age and didn’t like it very much.

I’m reading Arthur Brooks new book From Strength to Strength, and I’ve reached the chapters where he describes the overwhelming evidence of how we decline from our peak capabilities far sooner than we care to admit.

Putting our heads down and striving even harder is usually not the answer and often compounds our frustrations.

There is considerable evidence that life satisfaction for many people tends to increase once they shift their attention from personal success to a life of significance where they pour their skills and wisdom into others.

Doing this type of work as a coach for many years keeps my moments of astonishment coming and, on most days, puts pep in my steps.

EXERCISE:

What are the activities that astonish you with excitement and wonder?

How and where can you engage in more of these to remain forever young?

About 99% of the time, the right time is right now

“About 99% of the time, the right time is right now.”

Kevin Kelly, founding executive editor of Wired magazine

Image from Unsplash by Randy Tarampi

What are you waiting for?

How often do you ask yourself this question?

How clear are you about what stops you from taking action in each moment of hesitation and procrastination?

How and in what ways is NOW the right time for the important (not just the urgent) matters in your life?

What are the risks and the rewards of seizing this moment to act with greater courage and boldness?

If you knew you had a 99% chance of success each time you initiated an important task, what new resolve would you find?

EXERCISE:

What can and will you do right now that will move your life in the direction you desire?

How can you support and coach others in your communities to also step more courageously into the NOWs of their lives?

“When your rage is choking you, it is best to say nothing.”

“When your rage is choking you, it is best to say nothing.”

—Octavia E. Butler, late American science fiction author

Image from Unsplash by Brett Jordan

How familiar are you with the Heimlich maneuver? You’ve probably seen it performed on TV in both dramatic and comedic situations. Did you know that you can even perform a variation of this procedure on yourself?

Dislodging an item of food to reopen an airway to breath is serious stuff. Sometimes, however, we find ourselves choking with strong emotions that, if released, can make a situation far worse.

EXERCISE:

Where have you or others in your life opened mouths and inserted feet or caused other difficulties?

Where and when is it best to say nothing when choked with rage or other strong emotions?

The universe is infinite in all directions

The universe is infinite in all directions. Taking this cosmic approach with lightness and humor makes the trip far more wonderful.

—Calm App Reflection

Image from Unsplash by Jose Filipe

More and more people are flying these days to visit family, meet with customers, and finally to engage in adventures and travels that needed to be rescheduled on numerous occasions.

How many flights do you take in a typical year? How many frequent flier miles have you logged in your lifetime? What status level have your reached with your favorite airline?

Let’s compare this number to the distance to our moon, the nearest planet, the locations of Voyager 1 and 2, or even our nearest star.

When we make comparisons to these objects and the infinite nature of our universe with billions of galaxies, we have far to go. Luckily our minds have the ability to travel the 93 billion light years to span our known universe in the blink of an eye.

EXERCISE:

How and where would taking a more cosmic approach to your life bring you more peace and joy?

How can you travel with more lightness and humor in the days ahead to make your trip more wonderful?

Friday Review: Resourcefulness

Friday Review: Resourcefulness

How resourceful are you? Here are a few related posts you may have missed.

“Life is not about how fast you run or how high you climb, but how well you bounce.”

 

 

 

“I not only use the brains I have, I use all the brains I can borrow.”

 

 

 

“Your mind is for having ideas, not holding them.”