Tag Archives: Barry Demp Coaching

“It’s amazing how often the act of aligning on the problem untangles the messiest of knots.”

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“It’s amazing how often the act of aligning on the problem untangles the messiest of knots.”

—Rohan Rajiv, author of A Learning a Day Blog

Image from Unsplash by Parker Sturdivant

When we take the time to clearly define and agree on the core issue, confusion dissipates, and solutions become visible.

Too often, teams or individuals get tangled in assumptions, distractions, or conflicting agendas. By aligning perspectives on the real problem, we create a shared focus that simplifies complexity and opens the path forward.

As a coach, I’ve seen this alignment unlock breakthroughs, enabling people to move past obstacles with clarity and confidence.

Untangling isn’t about forcing a solution — it’s about understanding the knot so well that the right moves become obvious.

EXERCISE:

How often do you and your teams focus on solutions before you fully clarify and align on the actual problem?

How would taking this foundational step put you on the road to far better outcomes in your personal and professional communities?

“Worry often gives a small thing a big shadow.”

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“Worry often gives a small thing a big shadow.”

—Swedish Proverb

Image from Unsplash by Tom Barrett

Worry has a sneaky way of turning tiny problems into towering obstacles.

When we fixate on small issues, our minds often blow them out of proportion, casting long shadows that darken our perspective.

A minor mistake at work or a brief misunderstanding with a friend can feel overwhelming, simply because worry magnifies them.

This mental distortion drains our energy and clouds our judgment, making constructive solutions harder to find.

EXERCISE:

Consider setting aside “worry time” by scheduling specific times to process your concerns to prevent them from taking over your day.

Try including a friend, colleague, or coach in these sessions to gain greater perspective and better solutions to help you move past or work through your worries.

To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you

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“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.”

—Lewis B. Smedes, 20th Century Christian author, ethicist, theologian

Image from Unsplash by Alex Shute

Today’s quote reminds us that holding on to anger and resentment traps us in a cycle of pain.

Forgiveness isn’t about excusing the wrongdoing or forgetting the hurt.

It’s about releasing the heavy burden that weighs down our hearts and minds.

When we forgive, we break free from the chains of bitterness, allowing ourselves to heal and grow. It’s a gift not only to others but, most importantly, to ourselves.

EXERCISE:

In what areas of your life can you tap into the power of forgiveness?

What actions can and will you take today to open the doors to greater peace, happiness and personal freedom?

 

Gratitude wakes us up to the beauty and good things in life

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Gratitude wakes us up to the beauty and good things in life. We need to choose its light over and over again especially when things seem dark.

—Calm App Reflection

Image from Unsplash by Donald Giannatti

Focusing on the good things in life offers numerous benefits for mental, emotional and physical health.

Gratitude and positive thinking are linked to lower rates of depression, reduced stress, and greater resistance to illness, contributing to our overall well-being.

They enhance resilience and coping strategies during hardships, improving mood and reducing toxic thoughts.

By focusing on being grateful, we can re-wire our brains to detect and appreciate good experiences more readily, counteracting the frequent negative bias we often demonstrate.

EXERCISE:

Consider starting each day this week with a gratitude reflection before getting out of bed.

Compliment this effort by using a gratitude journal before bed to lighten and brighten your world and the world of those around you.

Friday Review: VULNERABILITY

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Friday Review: VULNERABILITY

How willing are you to be vulnerable? Here are a few related posts you may have missed.

“You don’t protect your heart by acting like you don’t have one.”

 

 

 

 

“People who need help sometimes look a lot like people who don’t need help.”

 

 

 

 

“If you want to avoid criticism, create less. If you want to avoid irrelevance, create more.”

 

 

 

 

 

Sooner or later we all sit down to a banquet of consequences.

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“Sooner or later we all sit down to a banquet of consequences.”

—Robert Louis Stevenson, 19th Century Scottish novelist, essays, and poet

Image from Unsplash by Tim Pack

Today’s quote is a powerful reminder that our choices — big and small — ultimately shape our lives.

It encourages us to see every decision as a seed planted for the future. Some yield sweet fruit, while others may bring lessons wrapped in challenges.

The “banquet” is not just about judgement — it’s an invitation to take responsibility and learn from our actions.

In the process of coaching, we focus on intentionality, choosing wisely, acting with integrity, and embracing accountability.

When we reflect on our daily choices, it’s helpful to ask: What kind of banquet am I preparing for myself and other?

Your future self will thank you for the care you take today.

EXERCISE:

In what ways do you accept and demonstrate accountability and responsibility in your personal and professional life?

How does embracing these qualities provide a banquet of positive consequences for yourself and others☹?

Over the long run, it matters less how often you’re the best

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“Over the long run, it matters less how often you’re the best at whatever you take on, and matters more how often you give your best to whatever you take on.”

—Rohan Rajiv — author of A Learning a Day blog

Image from Unsplash by Brett Jordan

Consistent effort outweighs occasional success. Being the best in the moment is fleeting, but consistently showing up with your best builds true growth and resilience.

When you focus on giving your best, regardless of the outcome, you develop skills, character, and confidence that endures. This mindset encourages perseverance and personal excellence, turning challenges into opportunities to improve.

Ultimately, success is less about winning every time and more about committing wholeheartedly to each task, making life far more meaningful and fulfilling.

EXERCISE:

In what ways can you shift your focus from external validation to one of personal effort and consistency?

What will the long run benefits be to you and others by choosing this approach in whatever you do?

Sometimes it’s nice to let life unfold without having to do anything

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Sometimes it’s nice to let life unfold without having to do anything.

—Calm App Reflection

Image from Unsplash by Ed Stone

Sometimes, the best thing we can do is simply let life unfold naturally. In a world that constantly urges us to hustle, plan, and control every outcome, pausing to embrace the flow can be incredibly refreshing.

Not every moment requires action or decision. Trusting life allows us to find peace in uncertainty and discover opportunities we might have missed while rushing.

Today’s quote is a gentle invitation to slow down, breathe, and appreciate the present as it is.

By surrendering control occasionally, we open ourselves to growth, creativity, and unexpected joy. Life’s beauty often reveals itself when we stop trying so hard to shape it.

EXERCISE:

What are some ways that you can recognize and accept that there is a natural order to life and that you cannot control everything?

Try starting out each day with a blank slate and allow life’s unfolding guide the way.

 

Friday Review: Vision

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Friday Review: Vision

How clear is your vision for yourself and your future? Here are a few related posts you may have missed.

“Your assumptions are your windows on the world. Scrub them off every once in a while or the light won’t come in.”

 

 

 

 

 

“Approach every task as though it were the moment that will define you.”

 

 

 

 

 

“A vision is not just a picture of what could be; it is an appeal to our better selves, a call to become something more.”

 

 

 

 

Listening is a magnetic and strange thing

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“Listening is a magnetic and strange thing, a creative force…”

—Karl A. Menniger, 20th Century American psychiatrist, author, and activist

Image from Unsplash by Joel Danielson

Full Quote: “Listening is a magnetic and strange thing, a creative force. The friends who listen to us are the ones we move toward. When we are listened to, it creates us, makes us unfold and expand.”

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Listening to others is a powerful tool that attracts people to us and also helps them grow.

When we genuinely listen, we show that we value and respect their thoughts and feelings.

This creates a sense of connection and trust, drawing people closer.

By actively listening we also help others clarify their ideas and gain new insights, which can expand their potential and foster personal growth.

As they feel heard and understood, they become more confident and motivated to explore new possibilities.

These mutual benefits strengthen relationships and inspire positive change, making listening a simple yet profound way to build connections and empower others.

EXERCISE:

How can you expand your view of listening as a powerful creative force? In what ways can you more fully develop this skill to both attract others and bring out their best?