Tag Archives: Barry Demp Coaching

“The best way to ride a horse is in the direction in which it is going.”

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“The best way to ride a horse is in the direction in which it is going.”

—Author Unknown

Image from Unsplash by Annika Treial

A fair percentage of the coaching engagements I’ve been involved in over the years have related to career transitions. Two common terms for such assignments are on-boarding and assimilation coaching.

One of the more challenging and often stressful assignments is when a new leader or team is brought in to “turn around” an organization. In such situations the company/horse and the vast number of employees/riders are headed in different directions.

These assignments almost always involve casting a more inspiring vision and enrolling others in changing direction toward a better future.

EXERCISE:

Assuming you are proactively taking steps to lead and manage your own career trajectory, what strategies and tactics can and will you take to lasso those horses and get in the saddle of those headed in a direction you would like to travel?

“Stop watering things that were never meant to grow in your life. Water what works, what’s good, what’s right.”

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“Stop watering things that were never meant to grow in your life. Water what works, what’s good, what’s right.”

—T.D. Jakes, American pastor, author and filmmaker

Image from Unsplash by Markus Spiske

Fast forward about two months to early spring. Go outside and take a look at your lawn and your flower beds. You are just about to turn on the automatic sprinklers and all outside hoses are ready to water the hard-to-reach areas.

But wait!

You take a closer look at the state of these areas and see that the most robust growth seems to be mostly weeds. What do you do before flipping the switch?

EXERCISE:

Where are you currently watering the weeds in your life?

What gardening efforts are called for so that you have more of what works, what is good, and what is right growing and blossoming in your life?

Friday Review: Balance

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FRIDAY REVIEW: BALANCE

What can and will you do to find and maintain balance in your life? Here are a few balance-related posts you may have missed.

 

“Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving.”

 

 

 

“He who will not economize will have to agonize.”

 

 

 

 

“Tweak the balance between your dance and your march.”

 

 

 

 

“Although he may not always recognize his bondage, modern man lives under a tyranny of numbers.”

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“Although he may not always recognize his bondage, modern man lives under a tyranny of numbers.”

—Nicholas Eberstadt, American political economist

Image from Unsplash by Stephen Dawson

What time is it? What did you weigh when you stood on the bathroom scale this morning?
How fast or slow is traffic moving on your commute to work? How much money do you earn and how much have you saved?

What are some other ways you measure your life and whether you are successful?

To what degree do you feel the bondage and tyranny of our world of metrics, milestones, and the quantification of everything?

Where in your life do you experience the freedom and simple pleasures of the subjective, qualitative, and more soulful aspects of life?

EXERCISE:

Consider discussing these questions with friends and family. What are the most appropriate and useful ways for you to measure your life?

“On this shrunken globe, men can no longer live as strangers.”

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“On this shrunken globe, men can no longer live as strangers.”

—Adlai Stevenson, 20th Century American lawyer, politician, & diplomat

Image from PBS.org

The Violence Paradox is one of the recent PBS episodes on the Emmy-award winning series, Nova. Although the title doesn’t indicate light TV viewing, I felt compelled to allocate two hours to consider its message.

Over the past few years, I’ve seen far too many examples of violence on local and national media outlets. The phrase If it Bleeds, it Leads, is more true than ever, given the hyper-competitive efforts to get and hold our attention.

Surprisingly, I learned in watching the Nova episode that in many ways our world is far safer and less violent than at any time in human history. This is based on actual data and not simply our perception of danger around every corner.

EXERCISE:

Invest some time to evaluate The Violence Paradox for yourself, and see the methods that are being employed to reduce our “stranger danger” perspective of our shrinking world.

What personal efforts can and will you take to bring greater peace to your personal and professional communities?

“Discipline is the refining fire by which talent becomes ability.”

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“Discipline is the refining fire by which talent becomes ability.”

—Roy L. Smith, 20th Century American Clergyman

Image from Unsplash by Samuel Giacomelli

Heat treatment is the process of heating and cooling metals to change their micro-structure and to bring out the physical and mechanical characteristics that make them more desirable.

Before modern metalworking techniques were invented, blacksmiths used heat to make metal more workable in forming them into the shapes they desired and in making them stronger.

EXERCISE:

Where can and will you apply the fires of greater personal and professional discipline to expand your talents into more masterful abilities?

“We all have our limitations, but when we listen to our critics, we also have theirs.”

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“We all have our limitations, but when we listen to our critics, we also have theirs.”

—Robert Brault, American freelance writer

Image from Unsplash by SEP

One of the very first personal development programs I attended in my early twenties was Dr. Wayne Dyer’s How to Be A No-Limit Person.

I had recently graduated from college, was just married and entering the working world with great anticipation and excitement. Dyer’s message of being a no-limit person was just the boost I needed to bring my full energy, enthusiasm, and drive to my efforts.

Along the way, I ran into numerous professional and personal speed bumps.

Doubts and discouragement definitely caused me to not shoot as often or as high as before.

Unfortunately, I also began listening to others who put a few more mental barriers in my way, based on their own self-imposed limitations and biases.

EXERCISE:

Where and on what personal or professional matter are you being limited by your own views or the views of others?

What bold and courageous actions can and will you take to be the no-limit person you want to be?

Friday Review: Boundaries

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FRIDAY REVIEW: BOUNDARIES

What boundaries have you set for yourself? How do you address the boundaries of others? Here are a few boundary-related posts you may have missed.

 

“You stand between whatever binds you to your past and whatever might be unbounded in your future.”

 

 

 

“Unless you plan on eating it, please don’t bring your phone to our dinner table.”

 

 

 

“Life is the art of drawing without an eraser.”

 

 

 

 

“Home is where your wifi connects automatically.”

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“Home is where your wi-fi connects automatically.”

—Author Unknown

Image from Unsplash by Clay Banks

What does your home represent to you and your family?

Explore the following list and have a conversation with your loved ones over a meal instead of engaging in some form of screen time.

My home is a place of…

love/affection warmth caring/compassion safety
security comfort common values fun/excitement
learning respect faith/spirituality stability
honesty/integrity cooperation teamwork achievement

EXERCISE:

What other places or communities make you feel at home?

Feel free to reply to this post regarding your thoughts and observations.

“It’s the rough side of the mountain that’s the easiest to climb. The smooth side doesn’t have anything for you to hang on to.”

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“It’s the rough side of the mountain that’s the easiest to climb. The smooth side doesn’t have anything for you to hang on to.”

—Aretha Franklin, Queen of Soul

Image from Unsplash by yns_pit

Have you ever tried rock climbing or one of the climbing walls at your local gym?

If you have, you may have noticed that the wall faces with far more foot and hand holds make the journey upward easier and faster.

Consider how life can be like that. By looking at the rough patches and bumps in the road as teachable moments, you have many more foot holds to push off from in your upward and onward climb.

EXERCISE:

Where and how can you be more appreciative of the rough patches of life, knowing they have helped you achieve far more than times of smooth sailing?

Consider taking a look at your current personal and professional rough patches to shift your view of things a bit.