Category Archives: Advice

“If you want to make the wrong decision, ask everyone.”

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“If you want to make the wrong decision, ask everyone.”

—Naval Ravikant, Indian-American entrepreneur and investor

Image from Unsplash by Caleb Jones

How do you make decisions?

How often do you seek council and advice or go it alone?

The answer for most of us is It Depends.

If you happen to have considerable knowledge and experience in an area, checking things out with a few wise ones in your world may help optimize the outcome.

If you are a complete newbie or novice, it is most likely a good idea to find mentors, coaches, and trusted advisors to help guide you.

At some point, however, we need to stop collecting data points and check in with ourselves to determine the path that is right for us.

Setting and re-setting our sights based on the views of others can leave us paralyzed with indecision which gets us nowhere.

When we delegate or abdicate our power to decide, things can easily go south.

EXERCISE:

Where in your life have you leaned on others too often when making an important decision?

Where do you draw the line in trusting others instead of yourself at certain forks in the road?

When it comes to our children, so often our lessons are caught more than taught

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“When it comes to our children, so often our lessons are caught more than taught.”

—Joshua Becker, American author, writer, and philanthropist

Image from Unsplash by Leo Rivas

How do you respond when given unwanted advice? During your childhood, how often do you recall being told what to do and how to behave? Look to your parents, teachers, and other adults at the time regarding how they tried to mold you.

For many of us, the do’s and don’ts of navigating our world were taught by these well intended individuals. After all, these were likely the methods used on them in their youth. To what degree do such approaches work to create the independent, free-thinking, well-adjusted children we all wish to launch into the world?

Children today are exposed to a barrage of messages from countless sources. Who are the role models setting the example you want them to catch to guide and support their journey?

EXERCISE:

How can you support and create an environment for your children and grandchildren in which more of life’s most important lessons are caught?

“What would I tell my best friend to do in this situation?”

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“What would I tell my best friend to do in this situation?”

—Author Unknown

To what extent do you tap into the head, heart, and guts of those in your personal and professional communities for feedback?

A common practice in the business world is to seek the input and perspective of colleagues to help identify blind spots and additional opportunities for greater achievement.

In his book, What Got You Here Won’t Get You There, Marshall Goldsmith—considered among the top coaches in the world—uses the “feed forward” concept to advise and direct others toward more effective strategies and behaviors.

Unfortunately, many of us are far better at shelling out our wisdom and great council than accepting it. We all tend to think we are navigating our lives and careers just fine.

Today’s quote suggests that we can attach a boomerang to our advice monster to try our own brilliant perspective on ourselves.

EXERCISE:

How would your life improve if you increased your coach-ability through your own wise words and the “feed forward” from others you admire and respect?

Take My Advice I’m Not Using It

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“Take my advice. I’m not using it.”

—David J. Henderhand

Image of the TED logo

I am a big fan of TED Talks. I love great ideas, and as a coach, I find myself sharing them all the time. I recently saw Mel Robbins’ TEDx San Francisco talk from 2011, from which I had a “take away” – I’ll get to that in a minute. First, a few questions:

  • What percent of the advice you offer others is acted upon?
  • What percent of advice you offer to others do YOU act upon?

It is, after all, great advice. It makes perfect sense, and you’ve seen it work wonderfully for others!

Talk is indeed cheap, and Mel Robbin’s advice to all of us is that once the insight, idea, or words of wisdom pop into our minds, we must act upon them within five seconds to activate and reap the rewards they bring.

EXERCISE:

How can and will you use this five second “insight into action” strategy to use far more of the advice you offer to others?

How can you also coach and support others in your world to do the same?

How might you also apply this concept to the advice others offer you, and don’t happen to be using at the moment?