Tag Archives: Barry Demp Coaching

When you dip in and out of awareness

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When you dip in and out of awareness, how can you simply be with what is without wanting to be somewhere else?

—Calm App Reflection

Image from Unsplash by Shantung Kulkarni

We often find ourselves oscillating between moments of awareness and distraction.

It is common to feel the urge to escape our situation, yearning for something else.

True peace lies in embracing where we are.

Learning to be present with our thoughts and surroundings, without the desire to be elsewhere, is a profound skill.

By cultivating this mindfulness, we can transform our experiences into opportunities for growth and understanding.

Embracing the present allows us to connect more deeply with ourselves and the world around us, leading to a more authentic and fulfilling life.

EXERCISE:

What strategies do and can you use to be more present in your life? Consider reading Eckhart Tolle’s classic book The Power of Now if you see value in this effort.

Friday Review: THINKING

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Friday Review: THINKING

How often do you think about the way you (or others) think? Here are a few related posts you may have missed.

Alter your thinking about thinking. Sometimes sitting with a question can expand your mind without always needing to find an answer.

 

 

 

 

Sometimes the direct approach doesn’t work. You may need to find and enter the third door to reach your goal.

 

 

 

 

Boost the resolution of your thinking. Notice the self-talk and images that pass through your mind and watch them come into focus.

 

 

 

 

“Change is the end result of all true learning.”

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“Change is the end result of all true learning.”

—Leo Buscaglia, 20th Century American author, motivational speaker, professor

Image from Unsplash by Nick Fewings

Today’s quote does an efficient job of encapsulating the transformative power of knowledge.

It reminds us that genuine learning goes beyond mere information acquisition — it fundamentally alters our perspectives and behaviors.

When we truly internalize new ideas, we can’t help but evolve. Whether it’s shifting our worldview, adopting new habits, or refining our skills, authentic learning inevitably leads to personal growth.

EXERCISE:

In what ways do you view change as a positive indicator or learning?

To what degree do you remain open and receptive to new ideas and change given our rapidly evolving world?

 

No matter how good you shaved today

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“No matter how good you shaved today, you have to do it again tomorrow.”

—Reed Markham, University Professor & Author

Image from Unsplash by Supply

Today’s quote encapsulates a fundamental truth about life and personal growth.

It reminds us that excellence is not a one-time achievement, but a continuous process.

Just like shaving, our personal and professional development requires daily attention and effort. We can’t just rest on our laurels or past accomplishments. Each day presents new challenges and opportunities for growth.

It’s not about perfection but about showing up every day, embracing the attributes of consistency and persistence. By adopting this mindset, we can cultivate lasting habits and achieve sustainable success in all areas of our lives.

EXERCISE:

Replace the word shaved in the following sentence:

No matter how good you __________ today, you have to do it again tomorrow to have the life you want.

“Is your default setting to defend your limitations of expand your possibilities?”

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“Is your default setting to defend your limitations or expand your possibilities?”

—James Clear, author of Atomic Habits

Image from Unsplash by Jan Canty

Defending one’s limitations can be a comfortable trap!

It’s easy to stay within our perceived boundaries, but this mindset stunts our growth and potential.

On the flip side, expanding our capabilities can be challenging and uncomfortable. It pushes us outside our comfort zone and forces us to confront our fears.

The rewards for pushing beyond our perceived limits are immeasurable.

By embracing a growth mindset, we open ourselves to new opportunities, experiences and personal development.

There are enough barriers and obstacles in our outer world.  Why would we ever consider compounding these by setting and fighting for our own?

EXERCISE:

Consider reading Mindset by Carol Dweck.

This foundational book introduces the concept of fixed and growth mindsets, showing how beliefs about our abilities impacts success.

Learning how to grow from the “no’s” in life is a sure strategy for success.

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Learning how to grow from the “no’s” in life is a sure strategy for success.

—Calm App Reflection

Image from Unsplash by Morgan Bryan

As I reflect on my journey as a coach, I’ve come to realize that Life’s “no’s” often offer the most valuable lessons. These moments of rejection or failure can be transformative if we approach them with curiosity and openness.

By embracing the “no’s” we can refine our strategies, build resilience, and discover new opportunities. In my book The Quotable Coach, Daily Nuggets of Practical Wisdom and this blog, I often emphasize the importance of turning setbacks into stepping stones.

Learning from Life’s “no’s” is not just about overcoming obstacles — it’s about growing into the best version of ourselves.

EXERCISE:

Consider checking out William Ury’s book The Power of a Positive No: How to Say No and Still Get to Yes for ways to apply this strategy for success in many areas of your life.

Friday Review: TEAMWORK

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Friday Review: TEAMWORK

What are your thoughts and beliefs about teamwork? Here are a few related posts you may have missed.

 

“A party without cake is just a meeting.”

 

 

 

 

“A single leaf working alone provides no shade.”

 

 

 

Life is not a solo performance. How and where can you collaborate with others to accomplish an important goal?

 

 

The trouble with having an open mind

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“The trouble with having an open mind is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.”

—Sir Terence David John Pratchett OBE, late English author, humorist, and satirist

Image from Unsplash by Hal Gatewood

Over the years, I’ve seen the power of an open mind, but also its pitfalls.

While embracing new ideas can foster growth, it can also lead to distraction and lack of grounding. An overly open mind might stray from established principles, causing confusion and undermining progress.

It’s essential to keep a balance to remain receptive yet grounded, ensuring that new ideas and insights enhance, rather than disrupt, our core values and goals.

Just as when you put on a new piece of clothing or a pair of new shoes, consider taking a “Try It On” approach to make sure any new information or idea fits with who you are and who you want to be.

EXERCISE:

In what ways would greater discernment regarding keeping an open mind benefit your life?

Where would a “Try It On” approach aid you in making better choices and taking more effective actions in your life?

Conflicts are more likely to have a successful resolution

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“Conflicts are more likely to have a successful resolution when the other side realizes our goal is understanding, not winning.”

—Rohan Rajiv, author of A Learning a Day Blog

Image from Unsplash by krakenimages

As I reflect on the nature of conflict, I’m reminded that true resolution lies not in winning, but in understanding when disagreements arise.

It’s crucial to listen deeply and seek common ground. By doing so, we transform conflicts into opportunities for growth and deeper connection.

Over the years, I’ve seen individuals and organizations flourish when they prioritize mutual understanding over victory.

Approaching conflicts with empathy and openness we foster environments where everyone can thrive.

In the end, it’s not about being right, but about applying wisdom and compassion in our pursuit of a world that works better for everyone.

EXERCISE:

Examine some recent conflicts in your personal and professional life.

Where would seeking to better understand one another be a better approach to realize Win-Win resolutions in your world?

What you push down doesn’t vanish

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“What you push down doesn’t vanish, it festers and wields quiet power over your thoughts and actions.”

—James Clear, author of Atomic Habits

Image from Unsplash by BĀBI

In our journey of personal and professional growth, we often encounter challenges or emotions we try to suppress.

These buried feelings don’t disappear on their own — they remain within us, influencing our behaviors and decisions in both subtle and overt ways.

As a coach, I encourage clients to face these often-hidden aspects of themselves by acknowledging and more importantly addressing what we’ve pushed down.

In doing so, we can truly grow and achieve our best.

EXERCISE:

In what areas of your life are you suppressing challenging thoughts and emotions?

How is resisting these feelings causing them to fester and persist in your life?

For extra insight into such matters, consider checking out Rick Carson’s book Taming your Gremlins: A Surprisingly Simple Method for Getting Out of Your Own Way.