“What gets better as we age?”

“What gets better as we age?”

—Author Unknown

Image from Unsplash by Dmitry Mashkin

In the years following my dad’s passing, I’ve developed a far greater interest in the subject of aging.

Although there are many reasons to see these years as ones of decline from our younger selves, there is still plenty of evidence that numerous areas of life tend to improve, including:

  • Happiness and Well-Being: older adults often experience greater life satisfaction and emotional stability, with reduced stress from the responsibilities of raising children and work.
  • Self Confidence: many older individuals become more comfortable in their own skin, embracing their true selves without the need for external validation.
  • Wisdom and Decision-Making: tend to improve through the accumulation of life experiences and more thoughtful informed choices.
  • Empathy and the ability to more deeply understand the emotions and experiences of others tend to improve, like a fine wine with time.

EXERCISE:

How can you see yourself as getting better — not just older — with each passing day?  How might greater mindfulness and self-awareness of the aging process help you experience a richer, more fulfilling life?

How can we get to that place where there is no place to get to

“How can we get to that place where there is no place to get to? In the presence of wanting, it is difficult to be happy.”

Helen Schucman, 20th Century American Clinical Psychologist and Author

Image from Unsplash by Surface

Today’s quote is often attributed to Rumi, but actually originated from “A Course in Miracles,” written by Helen Schucman.

It is difficult for many of us to stand still and be content with where we are and what we have.

Perhaps our hunter-gatherer ancestors ingrained in us the need to venture out and seek what we don’t have, or think we need.

EXERCISE:

Where and how might you discover many more miracles about life without ever leaving home?

“Optimism is man’s passport to a better tomorrow.”

“Optimism is man’s passport to a better tomorrow.”

—Author Unknown

Image from Unsplash by Miki Fath

If the idea Thoughts Become Things is true, being an optimist seems like a pretty good way to manifest a good life.

Consider the half full versus the half empty people in your life.

Who do you prefer to be around and what other people and things seem to be attracted to them?

Explore your family gatherings and the people with whom you work.

Which people light you up or pour cold water on your world?

EXERCISE:

The books Learned Optimism, and Authentic Happiness by Martin Seligman, PhD are two excellent resources to expand your optimism to lead you and others to many better tomorrows.

Who are the people who make you think and laugh

“Who are the people who make you think and laugh? Be the person who takes the initiative and reach out to them.”

Michael Bungay Stainer discussion with Chip Conley

Image from Unsplash by Surface

I believe the quality of our lives is highly correlated with what we do and those with whom we do them.

For most of us, it is often difficult spending all the time we wish with our favorite people.

We trade our valuable time for other priorities, and often must compromise and settle.

EXERCISE:

How often do you take the initiative to reach out and stay connected to the special people who make you smile and keep you on your toes?

How can you let these people know how important they are so they can also take the initiative to pull you away from people and things not meant for you?

“An act of goodness is of itself and act of happiness…”

“An act of goodness is of itself and act of happiness. No reward…”

Maurice Maeterlinck, 20th Century Belgian playwright, poet, and essayist

Image from Unsplash by Helena Lopes

FULL QUOTE: “An act of goodness is of itself and act of happiness. No reward coming after the event can compare with the sweet reward that went with it.”

To what degree is the phrase “It is better to give than receive” true for you?

Take a close look at the acts of goodness you have offered others over the years. How does this trip down memory lane bring a smile to your face and a warm feeling in your heart?

Of course, it is always nice to reap the benefits of reciprocity, but this is not always offered and, in most cases given today’s quote, not needed. How might the simple act of supporting and serving others be more than enough to be happy?

EXERCISE:

Who are some of the happiest people you know?

How often do you notice their act of goodness as a source of their happiness?

What lessons can and will you take from their examples?

“The more I love my wife, the more I love my life.”

“The more I love my wife, the more I love my life.”

Jon Gordon, American author and speaker

Barry (Many Years Ago)

 

Who hasn’t heard the phrase Happy Wife, Happy Life?

If our lives are a reflection of the five people with whom we spend the most time, this idea is worth a bit more pondering for us married folk.

Wendy and I are coming up on our 45th anniversary. Like most marriages that stand the test of time, we’ve been through a lot.

if you were to look at our wedding album you would see me with a full head of hair! If you knew us well, you might also note that none of the other couples in our wedding party are still together.

Living our vows and prioritizing each other on a daily basis keeps our relationship solid.

Being each other’s “person” is a key to all the smiles that create the happy wrinkles that come along for the ride.

EXERCISE:

Where and how often do you make your significant other your top priority?

What can you do today to demonstrate your love and live happily ever after?

“Embrace time instead of racing it.”

“Embrace time instead of racing it.”

Seth Godin, American author and entrepreneur

Image from Unsplash by Balazc Busznyak

This year we broke our “snow bird” season into two trips.

Since we like to bring many of our creature comforts along for our extended stays, we take our SUV, which recently reached its 100,000-mile mark.

Our first trip involved over 1,100 challenging miles of exhaust-laden construction, and the ever-ambitious lead-footed drivers always looking to shave a minute or two off their journeys.

On our second trip we chose to take the auto train from Lorton VA to Sanford FL, which saved us around 17 hours behind the wheel.

With an average speed of just over 50 miles per hour, Wendy and I embraced our time together, and even got some shut-eye as we chugged our way south.

EXERCISE:

Where and how often do you find yourself racing the clock?

How would slowing down a bit and embracing more moments lead to a more fulfilling and happier life?

It is through collaboration not competition that we survive and thrive. We are better together.

It is through collaboration not competition that we survive and thrive. We are better together.

—Calm App Reflection

Image from Unsplash by Duy Pham

Have you ever investigated the secrets of living a long and happy life?

Numerous factors lead to longevity, but only one stands at the top.

Beyond a healthy diet, regular exercise, a sense of purpose, and various spiritual pursuits, it’s our relationships that offer us a few more times around the sun.

It’s our families, friends, and other communities that are there in good times and bad.

When we sometimes fall, it’s a neighbor or other special person checking in on us to make sure we are OK that often saves the day.

EXERCISE:

How rich and rewarding are your relationships and community interactions?

What new and different approaches can you take — now and in the future — to have your life be better when you get together?

When we investigate and anticipate the exciting and enjoyable aspects of the future, we enhance our happiness

When we investigate and anticipate the exciting and enjoyable aspects of the future, we enhance our happiness

—Calm App Reflection

Image from Unsplash by Rachael Gorjestani

How do you usually feel on Friday compared to Monday? If you have engaging plans for the weekend or have a career you enjoy, your answer is usually very positive for both scenarios.

What happens to many working folks on Sunday evenings if their jobs don’t exactly light them up?

The situations above are examples of positive and negative “Creative Tension,”  where the nature of the future has a significant effect on our moods and overall satisfaction with life.

EXERCISE:

In what ways can you be more intentional with your life to use the power of “creative tension” to envision and realize more of your hopes and dreams?

Friday Review: Happiness

Friday Review: Happiness

What people, things, and places define your level of happiness? Here are a few related posts you may have missed.

“As we grow older, real beauty travels from the face to the heart, appeal turns to charm, hurt to wisdom, and great moments to shared memories. The true beauty of life is not how happy you are now, but how happy others are because of you.”

 

 

 

 

“Be who you are, say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.”

 

 

“So many conditions of happiness are available. You don’t have to run into the future in order to get more.”