No amount of regret changes the past

“No amount of regret changes the past, no amount of anxiety changes the future, any amount of gratitude changes the present.”

Ann Voskamp, Canadian author, blogger, and memoirist

Image from Unsplash by Brett Jordan

During the holiday season, many people reflect on their lives. Given our amazing time-traveling minds, we easily bounce between past events and future possibilities.

Narrowing our focus on the here-and-now seems to be a wise choice to make the kind of changes we intend.

Embracing our thankfulness for all the big and small things in our lives can turn even the grayest skies blue.

EXERCISE:

What are some of the wonderful aspects of the present moment?

How can you share your feelings of gratitude with others to change things for the better during the holidays and throughout the new year?

What joyful thing would you do if this day was your last

What joyful thing would you do if this day was your last?

—Calm App Reflection

Image from Amazon

Various studies on achievement and success have demonstrated that one’s ability to delay gratification is significantly correlated with long term achievement.

You may have heard about the famous and somewhat controversial Stanford marshmallow experiment where preschool children were given the option of one marshmallow immediately or two tasty treats if they were willing to wait around 15 minutes.

Although debated due to various suggested biases, the individuals who delayed their immediate reward turned out to be higher achievers over the long run.

EXERCISE:

Where have you possibly taken delayed gratification too far in your own life?

What joyful experiences do you already regret missing?

Where might FOMO (fear of missing out) be a good thing?

Dan Pink’s newest book The Power of Regret: How Looking Backward Moves Us Forward may offer you some joyful strategies to make the most of your days ahead.

Regret for Time Wasted

“Regret for time wasted can become a power for good in the time that remains.”

—Arthur Brisbane, 20th Century American Newspaper Editor

Image from Unsplash by Matthew Henry

How many more years do you expect to live, given your current health status and general life expectancy statistics?

How delighted, satisfied, disappointed or regretful are you regarding your current levels of professional and personal accomplishments?

I’ve found that virtually everyone I coach has a heightened sense of urgency, wanting to squeeze even more out of the time they have remaining.

For whatever the reason, they often seek out the support of a coaching relationship to achieve more, at a faster rate, than they have experienced up to the current moment.

EXERCISE:

The time we all have on this earth is limited. How will you maximize the use of what remains in order to achieve the success and significance you desire?

a slogan for an interesting life

“‘Why not?’ is a slogan for an interesting life.”

-Mason Cooley, late American educator and aphorist

image of "Why Not? in a circle

Image from whynotdumaguete.com

Regret is a terrible thing. When questioned about their lives, virtually all elderly people indicate that they most regret the things they did not do, rather than what they did.

In my coaching, I encourage my clients to have a “Try it On” attitude, in which they intentionally explore ideas and strategies that may not exactly fit within their comfort zones. In some cases, these ideas fit better than they think, or need only a bit of tailoring.

EXERCISE:

Where and in what ways could you lead a more interesting and rewarding life by asking yourself, “Why Not?”

Give more experiences and ideas a try today and in the days ahead. Feel free to reply to this post and let me know what happens.