“What we see in people is determined, in large part, by what we expect to find.”

—Sir Paul Smith, English luxurious fashion designer

Image from Unsplash by Brendan Church

What we see in others often reflects not just who they are, but what we are looking for.

Expectations act like filters, shaping interactions long before words are exchanged.

When we expect kindness, we’re more likely to notice gentle gestures.

When we assume criticism, every pause feels sharp.

The mind confirms what it predicts, often overlooking contradictions.

If we expect flaws, we’ll find them everywhere. But if we choose to expect strengths — resilience, creativity, decency — we open ourselves to recognizing more of it in people.

Shifting expectations doesn’t just change perception — it changes connections.

The most powerful way to see the best in others is to simply expect it.

EXERCISE:

Before your next conversation, pause and set an intention to notice a positive trait in the other person.

Afterward, reflect on what you observed and how your expectation influenced your perception.