The war between optimists and pessimists

 “The optimist already sees the scar over the wound; the pessimist sees the wound underneath the scar.”

– Ernst Schroder, mathematician

The war between optimists and pessimists has raged since the beginning of time. Which camp are you in? For the purpose of this post, please don’t take the back door and choose “realist” – though I do appreciate you thinking outside the box!

It turns out that both strategies come in pretty handy, depending on the situation. Optimists tend to have a promotion focus on growth and advancement. Pessimists, on other hand, tend to be more focused on security and safety. Schroeder was probably an optimist, given the fact that a scar is a protective and healing phenomenon supporting new growth.

Exercise:

Where are you engaged in the rapid healing and growth from wounds you may recently have experienced?

Where are you still feeling the wounds of the past that should have fully healed by now?

“You’ll never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view … until you climb inside his skin and walk around in it.”

“You’ll never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view … until you climb inside his skin and walk around in it.”

– Harper Lee, author of To Kill a Mockingbird

One of the pioneers and leaders in the field of personal development, Stephen Covey, passed away not long ago. He was perhaps best known for his classic book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Habit 5 states, “Seek to understand and then to be understood.”

In our fast-paced world, most of us do an abridged version of this if we do it at all. Lee’s quote suggests that we go far deeper and climb under the skin of another to fully understand their perspective and point of view.

Exercise:

When you meet someone you don’t know, or even someone you think you know well, try the following three relationship techniques:

1.       Ask lots of genuine open-ended questions to show your sincere interest.
2.       Layer, by taking a piece of their answer, to go deeper and demonstrate that you are truly listening.
3.       Be silent when they are speaking, so they can fully express their ideas and opinions.

Feel free to send me an email (barry@dempcoaching.com) to let me know how these techniques work for you.

The voyage of discovery

“The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes.”

– Marcel Proust, novelist

Imagine seeing life from the perspective of:

  • An infant, toddler, fifth-grader, or teenager
  • A millennial
  • A Gen-X-er
  • A Boomer
  • A senior citizen
  • A person of the opposite sex
  • A person of a different religion, race, or cultural background
  • The eyes of a more analytic, or more creative, person

… you get the idea!

Exercise:

What expanded value do you discover when shifting your perspective?
How can you continue to look at the world through many sets of eyes in the future, to expand and enhance your life?