Category Archives: Wisdom

“Wisdom is learning to let go when you want to hang on. Courage is learning to hang on when you want to let go.”

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“Wisdom is learning to let go when you want to hang on. Courage is learning to hang on when you want to let go.”

– Mark Amend (attrib.)

498Image from Flickr by Martyn Wright.

The coaching process often involves a deep dive into both the inner wisdom and the courage of an individual. Amend’s quote points to two fundamental ways to develop each of these qualities in yourself and others.

Where are you or others being stubborn, closed-minded or even obstinate on an issue, where there is little or no likelihood of a good outcome?

Where are you involved in a difficult or challenging endeavor where summoning the courage to persist will, with sufficient tenacity and persistence, pay off in fulfilling some deeply held value or commitment?

Exercise:

Pick up a copy of Seth Godin’s little gem of a book The Dip. It will help you see opportunities in your life where you should quit and where you should stick.

“A prudent question is one-half of wisdom.”

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“A prudent question is one-half of wisdom.”

—Sir Francis Bacon, 15th Century English Philosopher

Image of an "ask questions" button

Image from killerinterventions

One crucial tool for most coaches, including myself, is the question. Below are some of my favorites:

  1. What results in life are essential for you to see yourself as a success?
  2. What qualities do you hope to expand or develop to be your best future self?
  3. What would you like people to say about you at the end of your life?
  4. What inspires you?
  5. What are you passionate about?

And of course… #6. What else?

Always ask “What else?” to help you layer into each question, to reach the full depth and rightness of your answers.

Exercise:

To reap the other half of wisdom, answer at least one of these questions today and others over the course of the coming week.

Share this exercise and your answers with those you care about in your personal and professional life.

Coach and support one another in living life each day consistently with your answers.

“A single conversation with a wise man is worth a month’s study of books.”

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“A single conversation with a wise man is worth a month’s study of books.”

– Chinese Proverb

Wisdom has been defined as a deep understanding and realization of people, things, events, or situations resulting in the ability to apply perceptions, judgments, and actions in keeping with this understanding.

Wisdom embraces fundamental human principles, including the capacity to reason, the use of knowledge, and the ability to determine one’s path forward. The coaching process often ventures deeply into the realm of wisdom – for both the students and the coaches.

Coaching, like the reading of great books (which as you know, I highly recommend) results in the enhanced creativity, insight and collaboration that happens when two minds focus together on a single matter.

Exercise:

Create a short list of wise men and women that currently support or could support your personal mastery journey.

Select at least one individual in your world who would benefit from the contribution of your wisdom.

“One’s first step in wisdom is to question everything – and one’s last is to come to terms with everything.”

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“One’s first step in wisdom is to question everything – and one’s last is to come to terms with everything.”

– Georg Christoph Lichtenberg, German scientist and satirist

When is the last time you spent at least an hour with a young child? Parents know all too well the litany of questions that can be generated. These little ones are sponges beginning their wisdom journeys, and can renew our own inspiration to be lifelong learners.

Often our questions far outnumber our answers, and it’s not unusual to be upset or even knocked off our games because of this imbalance. Coming to terms with life seems to come with maturity and leads to far greater wisdom – which can help us experience far greater contentment and peace.

Exercise:

What is the right balance of curiosity and acceptance of the world around you that will lead you to the personal wisdom you desire?

The Wise Man Questions

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“The wise man questions himself; the fool, others.”

– Henri Arnold, cartoonist

question-mark

One of the greatest tools in a coach’s toolbox is the question. Answers to open-ended questions—those that begin with who, what, where, when, why and how—provide a level of depth and significance from well below the surface, often into new territories of awareness and insight.

I disagree with Henri Arnold’s statement that fools ask such questions of others: after all, I’d be calling all coaches fools! I do however believe that when coaches also ask these same questions of themselves, they often enhance their own development considerably. Arnold might say that a coach without their own internal or external coach is a fool.

Exercise:

Pay attention to the types of questions you and your colleagues, friends, and family members ask one another during the day. Which ones enhance your life journey, and propel you toward wisdom?

“Though face and form alter with the years, I hold fast to the pearl of the mind.”

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“Though face and form alter with the years, I hold fast to the pearl of the mind.”

– Han-shan, Chinese poet

As a society, we put a high priority on what Han-shan calls “face and form”. A few months ago, I had the opportunity to see a “Where are they now?” segment on a talk show, where the guests were former highly attractive movie and TV stars.

What I noticed were considerable examples of plastic surgery, and heroic attempts to retain the “face and form” of their youth.

Fortunately, the interviewer focused the conversations around their personal growth and development, as well as their community efforts that went beyond the physical. In these discussions, it was clear that their minds were still beautiful pearls shimmering in the world beyond the surface.

Exercise:

How can you continue to hold fast and further develop your inner self and mind, and see the inevitable process of aging as simply adding a few wisdom lines here and there?

“The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man is he who listens to counsel.”

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“The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man is he who listens to counsel.”

—Proverbs 12:15, The Bible

Image of a man listening with ear buds

Photo from Unsplash by Alex Blăjan

Have you ever had someone say, “I know” when you share something with them? Doesn’t that just drive you crazy?

Or, worse, how often do others interrupt you to fill in the remainder of what they were expecting you to say?

Both of these situations indicate that others are not listening – or that they’re simply far more interested in listening to their own favorite subject: themselves.

When we fully listen to others and truly consider their ideas, we expand our world view beyond our individual perspectives.

Exercise:

Where in your life can you develop greater wisdom, by listening more fully to others?

 

#89: “To finish the moment, to find the journey’s end in every step of the road, to live the greatest number of good hours, is wisdom.”

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– Ralph Waldo Emerson, writer and philosopher

What does it mean to live a good hour? It could mean:

  • Being fully present to each person and fully engaged in each experience.
  • Living in the moment, not dwelling on the past or daydreaming solely of the future.
  • Living a life of meaning and purpose beyond your own concerns.
  • Being generous and sharing your special gifts and resources with others.
  • Learning and growing in some way each day, and sharing your knowledge and life experiences with others.

Exercise:

What does living a good hour include for you?

What next step will you take to move toward greater wisdom?

Quotes are posted on The Quotable Coach a week after being sent out by email. To get the latest quotes straight to your inbox, pop your details in the sidebar to the right.

#76: “If you do everything calmly, with intense concentration, you’ll do everything at the correct speed.”

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– Paramahansa Yogananda

We all have an optimum rhythm or speed of life. If you play golf, what is your optimal club head speed? If you run, what is your optimal speed for a 5K? If you drive a car, what is your preferred speed for highway driving, to have you arrive safely?

Exercise:

What critical activities do you engage in each day? At what speed do you find your optimal effectiveness? And where do you need to develop greater calmness and concentration to find your correct speed of life?

Quotes are posted on The Quotable Coach a week after being sent out by email. To get the latest quotes straight to your inbox, pop your details in the sidebar to the right.

Autumn is a second spring where every leaf is a flower

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“Autumn is a second spring where every leaf is a flower.”

—Albert Camus, 20th Century French Philosopher

Image of bright autumn leaves

Image from Unsplash be Val Vesa

Our society embraces youth, beauty, and vitality. These qualities seem to coincide with the spring and summer, where new growth begins and we bloom into our fullness.

As we age, we enter the autumn of our lives. I embrace the metaphor of leaves, in all their wondrous colors, being a second spring. With aging and life experience, we can discover new forms of inner beauty and wisdom.

Exercise:

How can you embrace every moment and every season of your life?

What beauty can you find in where you are and who you have become?