“Givers have to set limits because takers rarely do.”

—Irma Kurtz, Cosmopolitan Magazine’s unshockable Queen of Advice

In his terrific book, Give and Take, Adam Grant presents lots of interesting statistics on the upside and downside of being a Giver or a Taker. He even introduces a third category. The Matcher always seems to keep score and only tends to give if they are receiving something of at least equal value in return.

Sadly, since the pandemic began, we are increasingly seeing an increase of examples of people who fit into the selfless Giving group experiencing significant burnout, emotional challenges, and even death. Grant would most likely advise these individuals to shift from a “Selfless” approach to a more “Other-ish” approach by instituting more strategies to maintain their own health and well-being.


Where are you and other Givers in your communities experiencing the negative consequences of your generosity? How and where can you set better limits to protect yourself and still serve those you care about, including yourself?