“Givers have to set limits because takers rarely do.”

“Givers have to set limits because takers rarely do.”

—Irma Kurtz, Cosmopolitan Magazine’s unshockable Queen of Advice

In his terrific book, Give and Take, Adam Grant presents lots of interesting statistics on the upside and downside of being a Giver or a Taker. He even introduces a third category. The Matcher always seems to keep score and only tends to give if they are receiving something of at least equal value in return.

Sadly, since the pandemic began, we are increasingly seeing an increase of examples of people who fit into the selfless Giving group experiencing significant burnout, emotional challenges, and even death. Grant would most likely advise these individuals to shift from a “Selfless” approach to a more “Other-ish” approach by instituting more strategies to maintain their own health and well-being.


Where are you and other Givers in your communities experiencing the negative consequences of your generosity? How and where can you set better limits to protect yourself and still serve those you care about, including yourself?

If You Think You are Too Small

“If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.”

Dalai Lama XIV

Closeup of a mosquito on human skin

Image from Flickr by ASCOM Prefeitura de Votuporanga

Did you know that the mosquito is the deadliest creature on the planet? More people have died by the mosquito’s transmission of diseases such as Malaria than all other poisonous, carnivorous, or other dangerous creatures combined.

How much influence have these tiny pests had on your enjoyment of a summer evening, or in an attempt to get a good night’s sleep in a tent?


How can you reduce or eliminate your limited views of yourself and become far more intentional and courageous to make a bigger difference in your world?

How can you bring your own positive bite into your communities, to spread more of the good things in life?