“Instead of seeking new landscapes, develop new eyes.”

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“Instead of seeking new landscapes, develop new eyes.”

– Marcel Proust, novelist

The capacity to perceive things is perhaps one of the most important aspects of coaching. The current paradigms and mental models that we have developed over the course of our lives both serve and limit us at the same time. Our eyes are the proverbial lenses through which we view the world around us.

Just as a pair of sunglasses modifies the intensity of light on a sunny day, our willingness to view things in a new light creates the opportunity for new and more useful perspectives to emerge.

Exercise:

Imagine that you’ve just returned from laser surgery or a cataract procedure. The surgeon has given you two new eyes that not only have you see more clearly but also enhance your capacity of seeing opportunities and beauty, and give you greater creativity, innovation, positivity, gratitude and overall happiness.

The war between optimists and pessimists

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 “The optimist already sees the scar over the wound; the pessimist sees the wound underneath the scar.”

– Ernst Schroder, mathematician

The war between optimists and pessimists has raged since the beginning of time. Which camp are you in? For the purpose of this post, please don’t take the back door and choose “realist” – though I do appreciate you thinking outside the box!

It turns out that both strategies come in pretty handy, depending on the situation. Optimists tend to have a promotion focus on growth and advancement. Pessimists, on other hand, tend to be more focused on security and safety. Schroeder was probably an optimist, given the fact that a scar is a protective and healing phenomenon supporting new growth.

Exercise:

Where are you engaged in the rapid healing and growth from wounds you may recently have experienced?

Where are you still feeling the wounds of the past that should have fully healed by now?

“The world has a habit of making room for the man whose words and actions show that he knows where he is going.”

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“The world has a habit of making room for the man whose words and actions show that he knows where he is going.”

– Napoleon Hill, early self-help author

Self-confidence can be a slippery slope. When we have too little, we are often paralyzed. If we demonstrate too much, we could be perceived as cocky, arrogant, or closed-minded.

Exercise:

Three strategies to develop and enhance your confidence without going too far include:

1. Working on critical skills and abilities through committed and consistent practice to enhance your competency.
2. Working on your ability to remain calm and centered when faced with events that can trigger upsets and strong emotions.
3. Speaking and acting each day in ways consistent with your core values and fundamental beliefs. They will provide you with both direction and personal power to step confidently through your world.

“Problems are in your life so that you can discover potentials that you didn’t even know you had.”

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“Problems are in your life so that you can discover potentials that you didn’t even know you had.”

– Barry Michels, self-help author

What exactly is a problem? We might describe it as a “source of perplexity, distress, or difficulty.” What is it that makes some issues a problem for some of us and not for others?

Perhaps some people who navigate their worlds with greater ease have simply addressed such matters and realized the potential within themselves to handle them.

Exercise:

Instead of looking at your professional and personal problems as “bad” and something to avoid, see each one in a new light as an opportunity to learn and grow.

Choose a problem you’re currently facing, and visit it in a new or different way to solve it.

Please consider replying to this message if you wish to share what you’ve accomplished.

“An apple a day keeps the doctor away.”

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 “An apple a day keeps the doctor away.”

– Proverbial

Image of a red apple on a table

Photo by Michał Grosicki on Unsplash

The other day while I was at my health club, I noticed one of the personal trainers eating an apple. Perhaps because I have quotes on my mind all the time, I found myself saying this familiar phrase.

When I got to my office that day—after eating my daily apple—I decided to do a bit of research on this and found that apples:

  • Contain about five grams of soluble fiber, shown to reduce intestinal disorders such as diverticulitis and possibly some forms of cancer.
  • Contain pectin which can help to reduce cholesterol levels by lowering insulin secretions.
  • Can lower the risk of respiratory diseases such as asthma, if eaten regularly.
  • Are low in calories and packed with vitamins A, C, flavonoids, and as many as 12,000 other phytonutrients to support good health.
  • Apple cider vinegar has been shown to prevent the formation of kidney stones.

Exercise:

Consider going to your local market or specialty grocer, and go on an apple safari. Select at least five and perhaps up to a dozen different varieties – and do a taste test to see which you prefer.

Some of my favorites are:

  • Honeycrisp
  • Jazz
  • Fuji
  • Pink Lady
  • Granny Smith
  • Gala
  • Empire
  • Northern Spy

“Words are small shapes in the gorgeous chaos of the world…”

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“Words are small shapes in the gorgeous chaos of the world. They bring the world into focus; they corral ideas; they hone thoughts; they paint watercolors of perception.”

– Diane Ackerman, author, poet, and naturalist

When I was growing up, one of the most popular board games was Scrabble. This game brought families and friends together to test our abilities to take those small shapes and find focus from initial chaos.

Today, the number of popular word games is staggering, with some of the most popular being Words with Friends, Wheel of Fortune, Bookworm, Boggle, and the ever-popular crossword puzzle.

Exercise:

To build up your word-power muscle, keep an old-fashioned dictionary or thesaurus handy to review daily when you identify a word you don’t know, or when you are writing.

For those of you who are more tech-savvy, check out www.dictionary.reference.com/wordoftheday or a similar site or app.

“There can be no joy in living without joy in work.”

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“There can be no joy in living without joy in work.”

– St. Thomas Aquinas, priest, philosopher and theologian

My brother Neal is an outstanding child psychiatrist who lives on the East Coast. The last couple of years have been quite difficult for him due to his lack of enjoyment in his work, caused by a dramatic change in his organization’s management.

His level of responsibility is high, and he is compensated quite well, but this level of reward makes virtually no difference to his level of satisfaction.
I’m proud to say that he just accepted a new (and likely more satisfying) job with a bit less pay to once again hopefully find joy in this very important part of life.

Exercise:

How can you contribute to and expand your satisfaction and enjoyment at work?

If that’s improbable or impossible, how can you make the courageous change required in order to find joy in your working life?

“When it comes to life, the critical thing is whether you take things for granted, or take them with gratitude.”

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“When it comes to life, the critical thing is whether you take things for granted, or take them with gratitude.”

– G.K. Chesterton, novelist

Since my mother Rose passed away 18 months ago, we have had the great privilege to have my father Marvin living with us. I must admit I was a bit concerned how it would change our lives, since not too long ago, Wendy and I became empty nesters.

At the age of 87, my father does not move as fast, and this has caused me to become far more aware of and self-reflective about my own life. I am pleased to say that with his wisdom and influence, I am taking far more things with gratitude than for granted.

Exercise:

Use today to slow down to half speed and look around at all the wonderful things that make up your life.

Go out of your way to thank those who are on this journey with you and consider sharing your insights about this exercise.

“To seduce almost anyone, ask for and listen to his opinion.”

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“To seduce almost anyone, ask for and listen to his opinion.”

– Malcolm Forbes, publisher of Forbes magazine

When I conduct my individual and organizational personal excellence workshops, a key tool I share with participants is the Communications Toolbox. This includes six simple techniques that emphasize the importance of demonstrating sincere interest and truly listening to others.

Others’ thoughts, ideas, and opinions on any subject happen to be the key to unlock our ability to influence them. This ability to tune into others’ fundamental human frequency is like finding a perfectly tailored pair of gloves that fit our hands just right.

Exercise:

Respond to this email and write the words “Communication Toolbox” in the subject line, and I will send you a copy.

Two books that I find useful on this subject are Fierce Conversations by Susan Scott and Crucial Conversations by Kerry Patterson and others.

“To do what you love and feel it matters; how could anything be more fun?”

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“To do what you love and feel it matters; how could anything be more fun?”

– Katharine Graham, publisher of The Washington Post

Many coaches share a common mission and purpose: to assist and support others in living their best life.

Fundamental to this mission is its expression in our vocations and professional worlds. To coin another quote, “If you love what you do, you will never work a day in your life.”
Connecting who you are with what you do is critical for all of us if we are to be happy and fully expressed as individuals.

Exercise:

To move yourself forward in this area, I suggest you do both a values clarification assessment and a signature strength appraisal. By blending the results of these exercises, you will see the route that can be taken to fulfill your professional destiny.

You can use the value clarification assessment from Quote #32 here and you can do a signature strength appraisal based on the book Now Discover Your Strengths by Marcus Buckingham.