Tag Archives: validation

“If you have a garden and a library, you have everything you need.”

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“If you have a garden and a library, you have everything you need.”

—Cicero, ancient Roman statesman, lawyer, and philosopher

Image from Unsplash by Nguyen Tau Hoai

Cicero’s nugget of wisdom isn’t just a gentle suggestion — it’s a challenge!

In a world hungry for validation and overwhelmed by stuff, what if fulfillment is far simpler than we imagine?

The garden calls us to put our hands in the dirt and watch life emerge from the smallest seeds, reminding us of creation, resilience, and hope.

The library, meanwhile throws open the doors to ideas that outlive empires, empowering us to think, grow, and transcend. Together, they demand that we redefine abundance — not as consumption, but as cultivation.

Are you bold enough to choose roots and pages over endless scrolling and shallow distraction?

If so, everything you need might already be within reach.

EXERCISE:

Take one of your favorite books outdoors and read under a tree or besides your plants.

Combining nature with reading heightens joy and reduces stress while letting intellectual curiosity and serenity grow side by side.

“Does the other person want to be helped, hugged, or heard?”

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“Does the other person want to be helped, hugged, or heard?”

—Charles Duhigg, American journalist and non-fiction author

Image from Unsplash by Justin Follis

This quote was brought to my attention by Rohan Rajiv, who has been writing the wonderful daily blog “A Learning a Day” for over 16 years.

Since most of us are in conversations throughout our days, I found this question to be an excellent framework to enhance my many relationships — including in my work as a coach.

If we determine that an individual is seeking to be helped, they are most likely seeking advice and solutions to specific problems with concrete actions.

The people in our lives looking for hugs emphasize the desire for social connections, validation, and sense of love and belonging.

Although we all like to be heard, these folks in particular have a strong need to be understood and want to be supported emotionally without being offered direct advice and solutions.

EXERCISE:

In what ways can you keep Duhigg’s question in mind as you interact with the people in your professional and personal communities? How clear are you about your own wants and needs to be helped, hugged, and heard?

Build a life for yourself that doesn’t require validation from others.

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Build a life for yourself that doesn’t require validation from others.

—Calm App Reflection

Image from Unsplash by Giulia Bertelli

From the time we are born we seek validation from others.

Getting what we want from parents, teachers, friends, and work colleagues seems to be the key to opening the doors of successful living.

Beyond the nods, smiles, gold stars, and promotions some of us still find our lives lacking.

No matter how many fans we have, the search for more often continues.

How we measure our lives and know when enough is enough can be a very elusive quest.

EXERCISE:

In what ways can you apply more of your own views of your life as the primary validation needed to see yourself as a success?