Learning to ask yourself and others the right questions is useful in many ways. Using “what” before “why” is a great place to start.

—Calm App Reflection

Image from Unsplash by Vadim Bogulov

Learning to ask yourself and others the right questions is a powerful skill that can transform your thinking, relationships, and problem-solving abilities.

One effective approach is to start with “what” questions before jumping to “why.”

Asking What happened? or What can I do differently? encourages open-minded exploration and practical solutions.

“Why” questions, while sometimes useful, can feel accusatory or lead to defensiveness.

“What” questions, on the other hand, foster curiosity and clarity, helping you understand situations more deeply and objectively. Whether you’re reflecting on your own actions or working with a team, starting with “What” sets a constructive tone for growth and progress.

EXERCISE:

How can asking better questions improve your relationships and decision-making skills? How would mastering the art of questioning unlock new opportunities and insights in your life?

Two of my favorite books on this subject are “A More Beautiful Question” by Warren Berger, and “The Coaching Habit” by Michael Bungay Stanier.