Tag Archives: questions

“Before you start scrolling for answers be sure you know what question you’re asking.”

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“Before you start scrolling for answers be sure you know what question you’re asking.”

—Author Unknown

Image from Unsplash by Ana Municio

In our swipe-and-scroll world, we’ve become expert seekers, but poor questioners. Before you start scrolling for answers, pause.

Do you actually know what question you’re asking?

Most people don’t. They chase certainty before clarity, speed before understanding.

The truth is, an answer without the right question is like a key without a lock — it’s useless.

When you slow down to clarify your question, you sharpen your thinking and open doors you didn’t know existed.

Next time you reach for your phone to “look something up,” ask yourself: “What am I really trying to find?”

You might discover that wisdom begins not with Google or the latest AI app, but with awareness.

EXERCISE:

How can you better define what you’re really seeking? The right question changes everything.

Scroll less, think deeper and act with intention.

Consider reading A More Beautiful Question by Warren Berger to bolster creativity, innovation, and more meaningful change in your life.

Answers are closed rooms and questions are open doors that invite us in

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“Answers are closed rooms and questions are open doors that invite us in.”

—Nancy Willard, late American novelist, poet, and illustrator

Image from Unsplash by Julian Firmansyah

Today’s quote reminds us that curiosity is the key to a life that keeps expanding.

Too often we rush to lock the door with an answer — something neat, tidy, and final.

But growth happens when we resist that urge, when we dare to stand at the threshold and ask, “What else might be true?”

Questions breathe life into static routines, spark creativity, and deepen connection.

The best leaders, teachers, and coaches don’t claim to “know” — they inquire. So today, instead of declaring your certainty, knock on a few new questions. Let them open more doors you didn’t know were there.

EXERCISE:

One of my favorite coaching books is The Coaching Habit by Michael Bungay Stainer.

I find immense value in how its seven simple questions help unlock greater potential in us and others in our communities.

Don’t ask, “What do I need?” ask “Where am I needed?”

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Don’t ask, “What do I need?” ask “Where am I needed?”

—Rabbi Schneur Zalman of Liadi, 17th Century Rabbi

Image from Amazon

These two questions change everything!

The first asks how the world can serve us.

The second asks how we can serve the world.

One mindset seeks comfort; the other creates meaning. Often, we chase what we think we need — success, recognition, security — only to feel emptier once we find it.

But when we ask, “where am I needed?” we discover purpose beyond ourselves.

We see gaps waiting to be filled, people waiting to be helped, ideas waiting to be built.

True fulfillment does not come from what we take, but from where we choose to show up and give.

EXERCISE:

To dig deep into to today’s quote consider reading Adam Grant’s book Give and Take: Why Helping Other Drives Our Success.

Learning to ask the right questions

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Learning to ask yourself and others the right questions is useful in many ways. Using “what” before “why” is a great place to start.

—Calm App Reflection

Image from Unsplash by Vadim Bogulov

Learning to ask yourself and others the right questions is a powerful skill that can transform your thinking, relationships, and problem-solving abilities.

One effective approach is to start with “what” questions before jumping to “why.”

Asking What happened? or What can I do differently? encourages open-minded exploration and practical solutions.

“Why” questions, while sometimes useful, can feel accusatory or lead to defensiveness.

“What” questions, on the other hand, foster curiosity and clarity, helping you understand situations more deeply and objectively. Whether you’re reflecting on your own actions or working with a team, starting with “What” sets a constructive tone for growth and progress.

EXERCISE:

How can asking better questions improve your relationships and decision-making skills? How would mastering the art of questioning unlock new opportunities and insights in your life?

Two of my favorite books on this subject are “A More Beautiful Question” by Warren Berger, and “The Coaching Habit” by Michael Bungay Stanier.

We make our world significant

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“We make our world significant by the courage of our questions and by the depth of our answers.”

—Carl Sagan, 20th Century American astronomer & planetary scientist

Image from Unsplash by NASA

As a science buff growing up and even today, Carl Sagan has always been one of my heroes. He was a leading figure in popularizing science through his books and the television series Cosmos, which became PBS’s most watched show for decades.

Sagan was instrumental in researching the potential for extraterrestrial life, demonstrating amino acids production from basic chemicals. He designed the Pioneer Plaques and Voyager Golden Recording, intended as a universal message for any extraterrestrial intelligence.

Among his numerous accomplishments was his role as an inspirational mentor to notable scientists including Neil deGrasse Tyson and countless young people who chose to follow in his footsteps.

EXERCISE:

In what ways do you courageously question your place and purpose in life and dig for the answers to make your time here even more meaningful?

The more you are interested in others, the more interesting they find you

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“The more you are interested in others, the more interesting they find you.  To be interesting, be interested.”

—Kevin Kelly, Author of Improvised Life

Image from Unsplash by Towfiqu barbhuiya

How do you demonstrate your sincere interest in others? A quick and easy coaching technique is to master your use of open-ended questions.

Placing the words who, what, where, when, why, or how at the beginning of these questions works magic because they cannot be answered with a simple yes or no.

To go a bit deeper and discover more about these people, layer with another open-ended question by using a piece of their initial answer. Doing so shows that that we are listening, and honor their views and perspectives.

Beneath these two approaches is the fact that you are showing genuine interest in their favorite subject, which for virtually all of us is ourselves.

EXERCISE:

If you are interested in more tools to enhance your relationship skills, please email barry@dempcoaching.com with the subject Communication Tools/ Masterful Relationships

 

Friday Review: Questions

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Friday Review: Questions

How often do you question the things you hear or read? Here are a few related posts you may have missed.

“What was the key takeaway from the specific situation?”

 

 

 

 

Alter your thinking about thinking. Sometimes sitting with a question can expand your mind without always needing to find an answer.

 

 

 

“If you have a pulse, you have a purpose.”

 

 

 

 

Alter your thinking about thinking

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Alter your thinking about thinking. Sometimes sitting with a question can expand your mind without always needing to find an answer.

—Calm App Reflection

Image from Unsplash by Eugene Lagunov

A powerful question can act like a mind-altering substance. It can be a catalyst to help fire previously underused neurons and emit floods of neurotransmitters to help us think new thoughts.

Modifying our thinking on our own can be difficult. We are constantly bathing our minds with many of the same messages, 24/7. Consider relating this idea to Newton’s Law of Inertia which states:

“Every object will remain at rest or in uniform motion in a straight line unless compelled to change its state by the action of an external force.”

EXERCISE:

What are some ways you can alter your current thinking?

What are some internal and external forces that can support you to change your life for the better?

What questions can you sit with that may help you in this effort?

Embrace life’s questions and live your way into the answers

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Embrace life’s questions and live your way into the answers. Don’t rush. Learn to take pleasure in the process of discovery.

—Calm App Reflection

Image from Unsplash by Towfiqu Barbhuiya

Of all the coaching tools I’ve come to value most over the years, one is the good old open-ended question.

I love that the trigger words of Who, What, Where, When, Why, and How allow us to dig deeper into answers that can differ widely for each person.

When we combine questions like these in sequence with sincere interest and honorable listening, we often discover many of life’s most important answers.

EXERCISE:

Consider picking up a copy of The Coaching Habit by Michael Bungay Stainer or A More Beautiful Question by Warren Berger to help you and others live into the answers of your life.