“Most people’s lives are a direct reflection of their peer groups.”

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“Most people’s lives are a direct reflection of their peer groups.”

– Tony Robbins, motivational speaker

Image of apples in a row with faces from happy to sad

Image from SurveyRock

How satisfied are you with your life? Rate each key area on a 1 – 10 scale with 10 being absolutely delighted. Now take a look at the life satisfaction levels of your peer group. What you will likely find is that your own satisfaction is a bit higher than most – maybe even the highest.

In such cases, if you wish to propel (or in this case pull) your life even further forward, you may need to explore moving beyond your current peer group. As in certain sports, we don’t tend to get much better if we continue to play competitors at the same level.

Exercise:

Explore the possibility that you have outgrown certain relationships that may be holding you back.

Take the steps necessary to respectfully and gracefully move your life forward by finding some new peers that will more fully support your growth.

“Action conquers fear.”

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 “Action conquers fear.”

– Peter Nivio Zarlenga, author

Over the next day or two, take particular notice of people who are experiencing worry or outright fear – especially if one of those people is you. One thing I bet you notice is the degree of paralysis, procrastination, and inactivity associated with this emotion.

Terms like crippled, frozen, riddled and stuck all point to this debilitating condition.

Simply the act of moving one step at a time helps to break these bonds and frees us once again to move our worlds forward.

Exercise:

Whenever you are experiencing fear, share how you’re feeling with someone immediately, and seek their support to act quickly before the cement of this crippling emotion has a chance to dry.

“It is the writer’s privilege to help man endure by lifting his heart.”

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 “It is the writer’s privilege to help man endure by lifting his heart.”

– William Faulkner, writer and Nobel Prize winner

Perhaps one of the main reasons I have collected quotes for much of my professional life is because they lift my heart. Seeing the value in this idea must have been the reason I developed The Quotable Coach series and share these ideas with you and others.

Exercise:

Today it is your turn to do one of two exercises.

The first is to simply forward the link to The Quotable Coach series at www.thequotablecoach.com and share this resource with others who you care about and who may benefit.

The second is to develop a guest post of your own, by following the guidelines below, to share your own uplifting message with others:

  • Quotes of one, two and a maximum of 3 sentences are preferred.
  • Share a real world story or piece of useful information that demonstrates this quote’s application.
  • Provide a simple and straightforward exercise to help the reader apply this idea in their own personal and professional life.
  • Include a sentence of biographical information (with your name or pen name). We encourage you to use this as an opportunity to link to your website, LinkedIn profile, or other web presence.
  • Send your finished piece to me (barry@dempcoaching.com). We may make minor edits for house style or space requirements.

Please let me know if you choose to participate and I will forward you a copy of my three workbooks. Thanks in advance.

“If everyone would learn that what is right for me doesn’t make it right for anyone else, the world would be a much happier place.”

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“If everyone would learn that what is right for me doesn’t make it right for anyone else, the world would be a much happier place.”

– William Glasser, psychiatrist

This is a guest piece from Bette Blance, president of the William Glasser Institute, New Zealand (www.glassernz.org.nz).

Perhaps you have people in your professional or personal life who frequently give unasked-for advice, using Glasser’s “disconnecting habits” of criticizing, blaming, and complaining to try to impose their will on you or on others. You may even be able to think of times when you’ve done the same.

This behavior drives us further apart rather than connecting us more strongly. If you recognize it in yourself, remind yourself that the only person you can control is yourself. By giving up trying to control others, you can, as Glasser suggests, make your world a much happier place.

Exercise:

Over the next week catch yourself using these disconnecting habits

  • Criticizing
  • Blaming
  • Nagging
  • Complaining
  • Bribing
  • Punishing
  • Threatening

Change these habits to ones that support and encourage and see what happens.

If you would like to write a guest piece for The Quotable Coach, please take a look at our guidelines here: www.thequotablecoach.com/quotching/the-wisdom-of-the-wise-and-the-experience-of-the-ages-are-perpetuated-by-quotations.

 

learn from the mistakes of others

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 “We should learn from the mistakes of others. We don’t have time to make them all ourselves.”

– Groucho Marx, comedian

A few weeks ago, I was watching a video interview of Rich Roll by Jonathan Fields as part of his Good Life Project. Roll is a top Ultra-man competitor who is considered one of the fittest men in the world.

It wasn’t always this way. In his earlier life, Rich was a drug addict and alcoholic. Through his own story and miraculous turn around, he has inspired thousands of people to pursue greater health and vitality through dramatic dietary changes and intensive exercise.

Exercise:

Examine the lives of people you know personally and professionally to see what lessons you could use to live a more fulfilling life. What positive behaviors will you emulate and which mistakes will you definitely avoid?

“Instead of seeking new landscapes, develop new eyes.”

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“Instead of seeking new landscapes, develop new eyes.”

– Marcel Proust, novelist

The capacity to perceive things is perhaps one of the most important aspects of coaching. The current paradigms and mental models that we have developed over the course of our lives both serve and limit us at the same time. Our eyes are the proverbial lenses through which we view the world around us.

Just as a pair of sunglasses modifies the intensity of light on a sunny day, our willingness to view things in a new light creates the opportunity for new and more useful perspectives to emerge.

Exercise:

Imagine that you’ve just returned from laser surgery or a cataract procedure. The surgeon has given you two new eyes that not only have you see more clearly but also enhance your capacity of seeing opportunities and beauty, and give you greater creativity, innovation, positivity, gratitude and overall happiness.

The war between optimists and pessimists

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 “The optimist already sees the scar over the wound; the pessimist sees the wound underneath the scar.”

– Ernst Schroder, mathematician

The war between optimists and pessimists has raged since the beginning of time. Which camp are you in? For the purpose of this post, please don’t take the back door and choose “realist” – though I do appreciate you thinking outside the box!

It turns out that both strategies come in pretty handy, depending on the situation. Optimists tend to have a promotion focus on growth and advancement. Pessimists, on other hand, tend to be more focused on security and safety. Schroeder was probably an optimist, given the fact that a scar is a protective and healing phenomenon supporting new growth.

Exercise:

Where are you engaged in the rapid healing and growth from wounds you may recently have experienced?

Where are you still feeling the wounds of the past that should have fully healed by now?

“The world has a habit of making room for the man whose words and actions show that he knows where he is going.”

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“The world has a habit of making room for the man whose words and actions show that he knows where he is going.”

– Napoleon Hill, early self-help author

Self-confidence can be a slippery slope. When we have too little, we are often paralyzed. If we demonstrate too much, we could be perceived as cocky, arrogant, or closed-minded.

Exercise:

Three strategies to develop and enhance your confidence without going too far include:

1. Working on critical skills and abilities through committed and consistent practice to enhance your competency.
2. Working on your ability to remain calm and centered when faced with events that can trigger upsets and strong emotions.
3. Speaking and acting each day in ways consistent with your core values and fundamental beliefs. They will provide you with both direction and personal power to step confidently through your world.

“Problems are in your life so that you can discover potentials that you didn’t even know you had.”

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“Problems are in your life so that you can discover potentials that you didn’t even know you had.”

– Barry Michels, self-help author

What exactly is a problem? We might describe it as a “source of perplexity, distress, or difficulty.” What is it that makes some issues a problem for some of us and not for others?

Perhaps some people who navigate their worlds with greater ease have simply addressed such matters and realized the potential within themselves to handle them.

Exercise:

Instead of looking at your professional and personal problems as “bad” and something to avoid, see each one in a new light as an opportunity to learn and grow.

Choose a problem you’re currently facing, and visit it in a new or different way to solve it.

Please consider replying to this message if you wish to share what you’ve accomplished.

“An apple a day keeps the doctor away.”

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 “An apple a day keeps the doctor away.”

– Proverbial

Image of a red apple on a table

Photo by Michał Grosicki on Unsplash

The other day while I was at my health club, I noticed one of the personal trainers eating an apple. Perhaps because I have quotes on my mind all the time, I found myself saying this familiar phrase.

When I got to my office that day—after eating my daily apple—I decided to do a bit of research on this and found that apples:

  • Contain about five grams of soluble fiber, shown to reduce intestinal disorders such as diverticulitis and possibly some forms of cancer.
  • Contain pectin which can help to reduce cholesterol levels by lowering insulin secretions.
  • Can lower the risk of respiratory diseases such as asthma, if eaten regularly.
  • Are low in calories and packed with vitamins A, C, flavonoids, and as many as 12,000 other phytonutrients to support good health.
  • Apple cider vinegar has been shown to prevent the formation of kidney stones.

Exercise:

Consider going to your local market or specialty grocer, and go on an apple safari. Select at least five and perhaps up to a dozen different varieties – and do a taste test to see which you prefer.

Some of my favorites are:

  • Honeycrisp
  • Jazz
  • Fuji
  • Pink Lady
  • Granny Smith
  • Gala
  • Empire
  • Northern Spy