“Those who are not looking for happiness are the most likely to find it, “

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“Those who are not looking for happiness are the most likely to find it, because those who are searching forget that the surest way to be happy is to seek happiness for others.”

– Martin Luther King, Jr., Civil Rights Leader

517Image from Flickr by mikebaird.

“Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness” is a well-known phrase in the United States Declaration of Independence.

King is suggesting here that perhaps the people who drafted this famous document had it somewhat wrong and that searching for happiness for others is the key to discovering it for ourselves.

Exercise:

How can you seek and support the happiness of others in your personal and professional life?

Consider taking a Post-it® note with the phrase “make their day” on it, and placing it somewhere visible in your office or home as a reminder. I bet your efforts will make your day as well.

“I don’t know who my grandfather was; I’m much more concerned to know what his grandson will be.”

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“I don’t know who my grandfather was; I’m much more concerned to know what his grandson will be.”

– Abraham Lincoln, 16th President of the United States

516Image from Flickr by Aleksandr Zykov.

I’ve always been fascinated by the theories of evolution and natural selection – the work of Darwin and others concerning how various plants and animal species adapt to their environment.

Clearly we all live in very different times from our grandparents. I’m sure many of their characteristics and traits were passed on to us through our parents. What if we had no perspective on this lineage? What if we only had our current environments to navigate?

Exercise:

How can you optimize your own qualities and talents in today’s world, to be all you can be?

“The will to win … the will to achieve … goes dry and arid without continual renewal.”

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“The will to win … the will to achieve … goes dry and arid without continual renewal.”

—Vince Lombardi, American football coach

Image from Flickr by Harry Thomas Photography

Every weekend I have my list of household chores and duties. Among these responsibilities is watering a wide variety of plants. Frequently I will find one or two in a somewhat wilted state.

Seemingly within minutes of giving these plants a drink, I notice that they are once again renewed, reaching out with their leaves to secure their full share of sunshine.

Exercise:

As water renews a plant, what strategies can you employ to maintain, or perhaps expand, your will to achieve and win?

Please consider replying to share your most effective ideas for personal renewal. Thank you.

“The most precious gift we can give anyone is our attention. When mindfulness embraces those we love, they will bloom like flowers.”

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“The most precious gift we can give anyone is our attention. When mindfulness embraces those we love, they will bloom like flowers.”

– Thich Nhat Hanh, Vietnamese Zen Buddhist monk

514Image from Flickr by Uli Emmanuel.

When I am coaching, I strongly believe that my clients deserve my complete attention. They become the center of the universe around which our discussions revolve. How often do you get or give such a level of focus when you’re with your family, friends and colleagues?

Unfortunately, we are all often distracted to some degree by the deluge of information and interruptions that find their way into our world.

Exercise:

Whether you are engaged in a coaching session, a performance review, a staff meeting or simply a discussion with a friend or family member, how will you be even more mindful to give others the gift of your fullest attention?

Pay particular note to how this effort brings forth even more of their greatest capacities and qualities.

“A good life is when you assume nothing, do more, need less, smile often, dream big, laugh a lot, and realize how blessed you are for what you have.”

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“A good life is when you assume nothing, do more, need less, smile often, dream big, laugh a lot, and realize how blessed you are for what you have.”

– Unknown

513Image from Flickr by Worldizen.

Even though I write The Quotable Coach series five days a week, I thought I’d share this seven-part quote in case you wish to get some extra credit.

When we assuming nothing, we often experience far fewer upsets.

When we do more, we almost always achieve more.

When we need less, we are far more likely to experience satisfaction.

When we smile often, we become more attractive and attract others into our lives.

When we dream big, we find our missions in life that give us meaning and purpose.

When we laugh a lot, we experience more joy and fulfillment and far less stress.

When we realize how blessed we are, we experience greater peace and contentment.

Exercise:

Select and engage fully in at least one of these attributes of living a good life and notice what difference it makes for you and those around you.

Try “doing more” by selecting all seven of these to give your life a gold star for extra credit.

“Try to live your life the way you wish other people would live theirs.”

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“Try to live your life the way you wish other people would live theirs.”

– Raymond Burr, former TV personality

512Image from Flickr by Marcalz.

Wishful thinking sounds like a pretty good strategy. It conveys a positive, future-oriented perspective. What could possibly be wrong with that?

Consider for a moment how often you wish others in your professional and personal life would:

  • Follow through on their promises
  • Treat others with respect
  • Keep an open mind
  • Work harder

… you get the idea.

Unfortunately, this wishful thinking has almost no influence on others. Instead, Raymond Burr is suggesting we point the finger currently focused on others back toward ourselves, where we can take 100% responsibility for our lives.

Exercise:

How can you do an even better job walking your own talk to achieve the life you’ve always wanted?

“Flowers only bloom when they are ready. People are the same way. You cannot rush or force them to open just because you think it’s time. Be patient.”

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“Flowers only bloom when they are ready. People are the same way. You cannot rush or force them to open just because you think it’s time. Be patient.”

– Timber Hawkeye, author of Buddhist Bootcamp

511Image from Flickr by icathing

It’s early spring in Michigan and the entire state is breathing a collective sigh of relief, knowing that winter is over and the better weather is ahead. Although the snow has melted and we are experiencing a few April showers, we still have not seen the bloom we so joyfully anticipate.

Just as the Earth circles the sun over a 365 day cycle, we all need to take things in their own timeframes to practice greater patience with numerous aspects of life.

Exercise:

Where would exercising greater patience and not forcing or rushing matters make the biggest difference in your personal or professional life?

“Monotony is the awful reward of the careful.”

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“Monotony is the awful reward of the careful.”

– A. G. Buckham, pioneering aviation photographer

510Image from Flickr by ste3ve.

One of the four key behavioral characteristics I evaluate with each new coaching client is their need for stability. Although there are both pros and cons to this characteristic, some people discover that too high a need for stability and safely can lead to a lack of variety and a routineness that diminishes their happiness and fulfillment.

Examine your current vocation and notice your orientation to trying new activities toward growth versus the tedium and boredom that is constantly doing the same thing the same way.

Consider your personal life and some of the choices – or perhaps I should say default choices – you make daily that have one day look like pretty much like countless others.

Exercise:

Decide to spice up both your personal and professional worlds today by taking a few small risks. Consider a few of the following to begin the process of breaking free from any monotonous aspects of your life:

  • Wake up 30 minutes earlier tomorrow and choose to work on a pet project you’ve longed to start.
  • Eat something for breakfast or lunch you haven’t tried before, or haven’t had in some time.
  • Take a different, perhaps more scenic, route to work or another destination.
  • Volunteer to participation on a new project or new committee at work that will add some variety or opportunity to your career.

Feel free to reply to this message to let me know what changes you plan to make to challenge the current status quo of your world.

we are challenged to change ourselves

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“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.”

– Victor Frankl, Austrian psychologist and Holocaust survivor

Image from likesuccess.com

Image from likesuccess.com

 This has been a particularly challenging week for a number of my clients, colleagues, friends and even family members. Unfortunately many of the situations they found themselves in were not within their control.

As Ari Weizweig, the CEO of Zingerman’s said, we’re not always living on “planet fair.” Feeling the upset and acknowledging it is a key first step to experiencing freedom from anger that could continue to poison our perceptions, attitudes and relationships.

Assuming the responsibility to change yourself in such situations means you are going to move forward and work toward a positive value-centered future as quickly as possible.

Exercise:

Acknowledge at least one upsetting event in your personal or professional life where you are not able to change the situation.

Determine how you will change your perception, attitude or behavior and regain the freedom to move confidently forward in your life.

“Negative people need drama like oxygen. Stay positive, it’ll take their breath away.”

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“Negative people need drama like oxygen. Stay positive, it’ll take their breath away.”

– Tony Gaskins, American life/relationships coach

508Image from Flickr by GYLo.

I’ve been reading a book on leadership by Ari Weinzweig. The chapter I just finished was on the importance of energy management and how critical it is for both individuals’ and organizations’ productivity and success.

Negative people and the drama they create (or perpetuate) literally sucks the energy and life out of an organization. In the quote above, Gaskins is suggesting that by monitoring the amount of drama and negativity and boosting our positivity, we can extinguish their destructive forces.

Exercise:

How can you notice, eliminate or at least diminish the negative people in your world, to take away their breath and extinguish their destructive energy-draining capacities?

What optimistic and energy-boosting people and resources can you use to infuse your organization or community with the fun, engagement and productivity you desire?