“Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence.”

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 “Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence.”

– Helen Keller, author, activist and lecturer

One of the factors most associated with success in a coaching relationship is optimism. Perhaps one reason for this is that optimists see setbacks as temporary and summon the courage and tenacity to stay the course toward their goals. Pessimists, on the other hand, tend to see setbacks and failures as more permanent, and often give up far too soon with “what’s the use?” or “it’s far too difficult.”

Keller was faced with major life obstacles: she was deaf and blind from the age of 19 months. But she became the first deaf and blind person to graduate with a Bachelor of Arts degree, and she was an activist for women’s suffrage and workers’ rights, and many other progressive causes. She even published 12 books during her lifetime.

Exercise:

If you would like to exercise your optimism muscle, consider one of the following resources:

Learned Optimism and Authentic Happiness, both by Martin Seligman

Happier by Tal Ben-Shahar (a well known professor at Harvard)

“The great thing in this world is not so much where we stand as in what direction we are moving.”

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“The great thing in this world is not so much where we stand as in what direction we are moving.”

– Oliver Wendall Holmes

Imagine that you have decided to climb Mount Everest. Consider all the plans and activities required for you to achieve what only 1,500 or so people have ever done.

The amount of time that people actually stand on the summit is just a fraction of the time spent going from base camp to the top … and that’s not even counting in training and preparation time.

Exercise:

Examine your own level of fulfillment in the journeys you have undertaken and are currently on, to realize it is your direction and the process of living each day that holds much of the sweetness of life.

“The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time.”

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“The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time.”

– Abraham Lincoln, 16th President of the United States

One of my philosophies of life is that what we do each day and who we do it with determines our satisfaction in the moment and manifests our future.

Consider yourself as a gardener, where each day you sow the seeds of success in your professional and personal world, and take care to water and weed your crop throughout the growing season to reap the harvest of a better future.

Exercise:

Take particular note of the daily behaviors and habits that are contributing to a better future.

Recognize where some of your daily efforts or lack of action are creating a less than desirable future and know that it’s not too late to start over tomorrow – because the future, as Lincoln suggests, comes one day at a time.

“A true friend never gets in your way…”

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“A true friend never gets in your way unless you happen to be going down.”

– Arnold H. Glasow, author

Image from blog.bcwinstitute.org

Image from blog.bcwinstitute.org

Do you know who your true friends are? Today’s quote presents a bit of a test to help you identify the good ones. These are the people who support us in living our best lives and stand for us being all we can be.

At the same time, they are also the people who are there during life’s challenging and difficult times to lend us a shoulder to lean on – or carry us completely when things are at their darkest.

Exercise:

Thank the friends around you for being there in both good and difficult times, and while doing so, look within yourself to see how you stack up as a friend to others.

“Constant kindness can accomplish much…”

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“Constant kindness can accomplish much. As the sun makes ice melt, kindness causes misunderstanding, mistrust and hostility to evaporate.”

– Albert Schweitzer, theologian and philosopher

Here in Michigan, we are preparing for the upcoming winter seasons. The leaves are changing color and starting to fall, and our mornings are beginning to get crisp and cool.

I personally like the idea of kindness as a proverbial defroster that we can use whenever we wish to bring greater warmth into our worlds.

Exercise:

Where (and to whom) can you extend greater kindness today, to increase your capacity to accomplish much?

“A man travels the world over in search of what he needs and returns home to find it.”

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“A man travels the world over in search of what he needs and returns home to find it.”

– George Moore, novelist

One of my favorite movies from my youth was The Wizard of Oz. In those days, it was only on once a year – and on that day, we actually got to eat dinner in our living room on those corny folding trays.

The fundamental message of the film was there’s no place like home… which fits perfectly with Moore’s quote.

Exercise:

Today and this week, explore those things that you are searching for and see just how many are in your own home or community.

A lesson taught with humor

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 “A lesson taught with humor is a lesson retained.”

– Ruth K. Westheimer, aka “Dr Ruth”, sex therapist

One of the primary reasons I chose to pursue the profession of coaching 20 years ago was because of the considerable shortcomings of other forms of training and development. We all have books, binders, tapes and seminar folders sitting on our shelves that are barely remembered, and collecting dust.

Coaching is all about stickiness and sustainability, where the lessons learned often – in an experiential way – stay with us and become habituated.

Humor, as Dr. Ruth suggests, is a great way to make an idea or experience memorable, sticky and sustainable.

Exercise:

Where can you add a bit – or a bunch – of humor and fun to lessons being shared in both your professional and personal worlds?

Google the phrase “the use of humor to support learning” and see what you learn.

“I believe in getting into hot water. It keeps you clean.”

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“I believe in getting into hot water. It keeps you clean.”

– G.K. Chesterton, novelist

Do you ever feel like one day seems to run into the next, where things seem to be a bit dull or routine? Perhaps we can do as G.K. Chesterton suggests and rinse off the dirt and freshen up a bit … even if that means risking something new.

I know I feel much better when I splash a bit of water on my face to renew myself for what’s next to come in my day.

Exercise:

What areas of hot water can you get yourself in today to brighten up what’s ahead?

(You may need to risk not complying and not fitting in!)

“Always give without remembering. Always receive without forgetting.”

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“Always give without remembering. Always receive without forgetting.”

– Brian Tracy, motivational speaker and author

Generosity and gratitude are powerful forces. They help us live happier lives. Unfortunately, the wisdom of Brian Tracy’s quote is not always heeded, and people often do what I call “keeping score.” Put simply, this means that “I’ll give you one if you give me one.”

Under this “giving must equal getting” rule, it’s easy for a person to feel that the equation is unbalanced. The process of giving and receiving grinds to a halt, with potential anger and resentment as a result.

Exercise:

Answer the following questions:

How will you operate from a place of abundance and generosity today and in the future?

How will you go out of your way to acknowledge the small and large acts of kindness people offer today and in the future?

With All My Heart

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“I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart.”

– Vincent van Gogh, post-Impressionist painter

Image from Nasa

Image from Nasa

The other night, I was watching a show about Mars and the current plans to send a manned mission there by the year 2033. The complexity and enormity of this undertaking was inspiring.

I guess it is within our very nature as humans to seek and strive for new levels of knowledge, adventure, and accomplishment – and yet, some of us slow down and even stop in these efforts. We sometimes find ourselves in dead-end jobs, dead-end relationships, and general life ruts where we feel stuck or trapped.

Exercise:

Complete the following statement:

I am looking forward to ……….

Keep asking yourself “What else? What else? What else?” with all your heart, until you revive the seeker and striver in you.