Tag Archives: friendship

What helps you take the challenging aspect of life in stride

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What helps you take the challenging aspect of life in stride?

—Calm App Reflection

Image from Unsplash by Copper and Wild

FULL QUOTE: “What helps you take the challenging aspect of life in stride? What lollipops of love do you give yourself and others to make the world a little sweeter?”

Wendy and I recently spent several days with the family of a very close friend who passed away suddenly.

During this time, family and friends from near and far gathered to acknowledge and celebrate this wonderful man.

Along with the tremendous outpouring of love and support, many of the people in attendance brought all types of treats for everyone to share as we offered sweet stories from the life of this very special soul.

EXERCISE:

How do you serve and support others in your communities facing challenging times?

What gestures and offerings ease the pain to help make life a bit sweeter?

A good friend is a connection to life —a tie to the past, a road to the future, the key to sanity in a totally insane world

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“A good friend is a connection to life —a tie to the past, a road to the future, the key to sanity in a totally insane world.”

—Lois Wyse, late advertising executive and author

Image from Unsplash by Felix Roosting

About a month ago, I watched a short video clip in which Arthur Brooks was interviewed. In this conversation with Daniel Pink, Brooks he introduced the concept of real friends versus deal friends.

According to Brooks, deal friends are people who can help you in a transactional way, while real friends are the ones who might call you at inconvenient times in a crisis.

Deal friends are people who are useful to you in some way, however these friendships are often less satisfying and feel incomplete because they don’t involve the whole self.

EXERCISE:

Who are your real friends?

How have and do they connect you to life?

How often do you acknowledge these special relationships and let them know how meaningful they are to you?

Friday Review: Friendship

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Friday Review: Friendship

What does it mean to be and have a friend? Here are a few related posts you may have missed.

“Probably the most neglected friend you have is you.”

 

 

 

 

 

“When people are like each other, they tend to like each other.”

 

 

 

“To be a good fisherman you must detach yourself from the dream of the fish. This makes whatever is caught or found a treasure.”

 

 

 

 

 

The best mirror is a friend’s eye

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“The best mirror is a friend’s eye.”

—Gaelic proverb

Rachel & Lesley (l) — Lesley & Ella (r)

My daughter Rachel’s best friend recently came for a surprise visit to see her, and to meet her new goddaughter, Ella.

Lesley and Rachel call each other Big Sis and Little Sis, and have been very close since grade school.

An elaborate plan for this visit was first orchestrated in November. With many of us playing our part, we accomplished the jaw dropping, tear-filled reunion.

Watching these two best friends reconnect over the next few days was a great gift for us as well.

EXERCISE:

Where and when have you experienced the value and joy of having a best friend? In what fun ways can you surprise them and show how very much they have meant to you over the years?

“To be a good fisherman you must detach yourself from the dream of the fish. This makes whatever is caught or found a treasure.”

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“To be a good fisherman you must detach yourself from the dream of the fish. This makes whatever is caught or found a treasure.”

—Buddhist saying

 Image from Unsplash by NOAA

I have a client and good friend named Rich, who loves to fish. Hearing him talk about his passion is a blast. Last year, he invited me to join him in his passion at a local lake.

With an early start on a promising day, we switched places and Rich became my coach. During our five-hour excursion he caught numerous fish and I — with all my giggling — came up with a single small-mouth bass, just prior to us calling it a day. Later, over a meal, I came to the realization that it was our treasured friendship that was the big fish I caught that day.

EXERCISE:

Where have you caught or discovered new things to celebrate and appreciate on your way to some other intended place? Where might detaching yourself from things you expect open you up to new people and experiences to treasure?

“The man or woman who treasurers his friends is usually solid gold himself.”

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“The man or woman who treasurers his friends is usually solid gold himself.”

—Marjorie Holmes, 20th Century American columnist & author

Two of our most treasured friends live near Poughkeepsie, New York. Wendy and I first met Emmy and Clark in the Pocono Mountains of Pennsylvania. Every August since 1984 we’ve joined them for a week at our annual timeshare, Shawnee on the Delaware. Beyond these annual vacations, we have stayed in touch to share many happy times, including birthdays, BBQs and other family celebrations.

Over the years, Emmy has sent us hundreds of handmade, personalized purple cards, to let us know we are in her thoughts. During some of our most challenging times, we would receive these “Pick Me Up” purple messages each week.

EXERCISE:

Who are the solid gold friends in your life? What purple card-like gesture can you offer these special people to more fully demonstrate how much you treasure them?

“Politeness is an inexpensive way of making friends.”

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“Politeness is an inexpensive way of making friends.”

—William A. Feather, 20th Century American publisher and author

Image from csbcorrespondent.com

How familiar are you with the 10 / 5 Rule?

In the hospitality industry, this rule dictates that when a staff member is ten feet from a guest, they smile and make direct eye contact.

When a staff member is within five feet, they greet the guest with a salutation such as Hello or Good Morning.

My modified version of this rule takes place on my daily morning walks when I wave at the people in cars and say hello to my fellow walkers and their dogs, making sure we are at least six feet apart.

EXERCISE:

Where and in what ways can and will you apply the polite no-cost gesture of the 10/5 Rule in your world, to make a few more friends?

The Most Neglected Friend

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“Probably the most neglected friend you have is you.”

—L. Ron Hubbard, Founder of the Church of Scientology

Image of a man photographing himself in a mirror

Image from Flickr by joelleen

Who are your very closest and best friends? Take a moment to list them by name. You may even choose to look back to your school years, and the different cities or towns in which you have lived throughout your life.

Did you put yourself on the list?

If you didn’t, you are not alone.

For some reason, the majority of people who take on this exercise rarely include themselves.
What are the reasons for the omission?
Why do so many of us neglect, ignore, or simply not consider our relationship with ourselves of paramount importance?

EXERCISE:

How and in what ways can you befriend yourself far more, from this point forward?
Consider reversing the Golden Rule and do for yourself what you do for others, as a starting point.

Friday Review Friendship

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FRIDAY REVIEW: FRIENDSHIP

What does it mean to be and have a friend? Here are a few friendship-related posts you may have missed.

 

“A true friend never gets in your way unless you happen to be going down.”

 

 

 

 

“Friends are as companions on a journey, who ought to aid each other to persevere in the road to a happier life.”

 

 

 

“A friend is a person before whom I may think aloud.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Friendship Consists of a Willing Ear

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“Friendship consists of a willing ear, an understanding heart, and a helping hand.”

—Frank Tyger, American Cartoonist and columnist

Image of four men sitting on the edge of a mountaintop

Image from Unsplash by Matheus Ferrero

During my signature Personal Excellence Training program, new clients identify the most valued and important professional and personal relationships they intend to enhance through our coaching efforts.

When it comes to deep and meaningful friendships, I notice my male clients have fewer than my female clients. Yet men and women alike say they have a sense of diminished fulfillment, in terms of friendships, than they had at earlier points in their lives.

We’ve all heard the phrase, “To have a friend we must be a friend.”

EXERCISE:

With whom can you make an extra effort to offer a willing ear, an understanding heart, or a helpful hand, to realize more of the close and caring friendships you desire?