“You’re more likely to act yourself into feeling than feel yourself into action.”

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“You’re more likely to act yourself into feeling than feel yourself into action.”

– Dr. Jerome Bruner, Harvard Psychologist

Do you remember being a child, when your own parents asked you to do something a bit unpleasant? You know, take out the trash, clean your room, do your homework… If you’re like many people, you probably said, “I don’t feel like it.”

Today, we experience numerous areas of our lives where the same words prevent us from eating healthy foods, getting proper exercise, and yes, doing those pesky chores.

As a coach for over 20 years, I’ve observed that people of action – deliberate, habitual, and massive action – seem to consistently feel better and have more energy than those who do their best to conserve their efforts.

Exercise:

For the next week, create multiple post-it notes with the famous Nike phrase “Just do it” and see if you catch the positive, energizing momentum available in an action-packed life.

Who looks outside dreams. who looks inside awakens.

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“Who looks outside dreams; who looks inside awakens.”

– Carl G.Jung, psychotherapist and psychiatrist

Image of man in contemplation

Image from Unsplash by Ben White

As a former science teacher and professed watcher of the Discovery Channel (and TV shows from my youth such as Mr. Wizard), I have always been fascinated by exploring new worlds beyond my reach.

During my childhood, I even dreamed of one day being an astronaut and visiting the moon and the planets. As I aged and pursued adventure, personal growth and my career in coaching, I found a new excitement in taking more frequent journeys within my mind and my heart – all without the assistance of a rocket.

Exercise:

Consider engaging in your own inner journey daily, through a practice of your choice such as meditation, prayer, journal writing, and the reading of insightful or thought-provoking books or blogs.

Feel free to reply to this message and let me know what practices you use to awaken and clarify your vision.

If we only listened with the same passion that we feel about being heard

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“If we only listened with the same passion that we feel about being heard.”

– Harriet Lerner, author and psychologist

My experience in the business of coaching and 30+ years of marriage has proved this key to success. Lerner refers to being “others-focused” rather than “self-focused.” Being sincerely interested in others and generously listening so that they can fully express themselves are fundamental to building quality relationships, and lead to a successful life.

Exercise:

When you are listening to others with great passion and focus, imagine that money is coming right out of their mouths, and that your job is to capture the full value of what they have to say and contribute.

You can take this quote to the bank. 🙂 !

“The ability to perceive or think differently is more important than the knowledge gained.”

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“The ability to perceive or think differently is more important than the knowledge gained.”

– David Bohm, theoretical physicist


On / off, right / wrong, black / white are examples of polar opposites or, some might say, the duality of a situation. Knowledge, although highly prized and valuable in our world, often points us in the direction of the “right answer” and can often lead us to a somewhat limited view on a particular subject.

Bohm suggests that being open to various perspectives and having the ability to think differently is more important than knowledge in our world today. We need the wisdom to evaluate things with a full spectrum of colors and multiple shades of grey.

Exercise:

Where in your personal and professional life are you limited by knowledge gained and your need to be right? How can you exercise your “try it on” muscle to explore opportunities and possibilities beyond your knowledge of things?

“People are anxious to improve their circumstances, but they are unwilling to improve themselves. They therefore remain bound.”

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“People are anxious to improve their circumstances, but they are unwilling to improve themselves. They therefore remain bound.”

– James Allen, author and philosopher

Do you play the lottery? Are you a wishful thinker? Would you like many of your life’s circumstances to change for the better? Do you believe in luck? As a highly optimistic person, I tend to live on the sunny side of life, where I not only hope for the best but work quite diligently to create my own luck.

Exercise:

Consider picking up the book Outliers: The Story of Success by Malcolm Gladwell, to explore many surprising insights into the world of success and how the hard work of improving ourselves is a fundamental key to extraordinary living.

Interview on Coaching with the Michigan Business Network

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I had the pleasure of being interviewed on the Michigan Business Network’s radio show “Association Impact” last week. During the discussion, I answered questions such as:

  • What kind of process do you use when working with executives?
  • What makes a coaching process more effective than training alone?
  • What does a typical coaching relationship look like in terms of time commitment and costs?

You can listen to the interview here:

[audio:http://www.dempcoaching.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/MMOTIONSS5.mp3|titles=Barry Demp on Association Impact – Part One] [audio:http://www.dempcoaching.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/MMOTIONSS6.mp3|titles=Barry Demp on Association Impact – Part Two]

Quotching: Coaching Through Powerful and Inspiring Quotes

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I just got back from a conference where we were encouraged to create new and different approaches to accomplish our goals.

One thing we learned is that to create a strong brand, it’s helpful to have your own unique word. Given my love of quotes and my love of coaching, I came up with the word quotching, which is simply coaching through the use of powerful and inspiring quotes.

I have registered the domain www.quotching.com and will be creating a site there.

Your Help Needed!

The Quotable Coach currently has over 600 subscribers, but I want to get these 30-second nuggets of inspiration and motivation out there for an even larger audience.

If you were me, what creative, innovate, or novel approaches would you use to bring these 250+ quotes (so far) to more people?

Please leave a comment below to let me know your ideas.

“It’s choice – not chance – that determines your destiny.”

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“It’s choice – not chance – that determines your destiny.”

– Jean Nidetch, co-founder of Weight Watchers

It is surprising to learn the percentage of people who have clearly defined written goals for both their personal and professional life. Estimates are definitely in the single digits – with most hovering around three percent.

So many people have a “take it as it comes” attitude to life, and they may even believe that their destiny is already determined. Yet free will and our capacity to choose how we spend our days are simply fundamental to being human.

Exercise:

Take five minutes this morning to choose how you will spend your day. Select only those activities and people who fit best with your vision and values.

Take five minutes at the end of your day to reflect on what you learned, achieved and experienced.

Consider doing this exercise every day, or at least every week, if you like what you discovered. Feel free to email me at barry@dempcoaching.com to let me know if something wonderful happens.

“Enjoy the little things, for one day, you may look back and realize they were the big things.”

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“Enjoy the little things, for one day, you may look back and realize they were the big things.”

– Robert Brault, freelance writer

The human mind is an amazing thing. It provides us with a phenomenal capacity to learn, to create, to solve problems and to remember.

There was recently a TV crime show where the detective had a photographic memory – she could remember every single detail. For most of us, this is impossible and in many cases, undesirable. We need to restrict what enters our mind to simply get through our days with a degree of balance and sanity.

Of course we want to remember and cherish those big events, such as graduations, weddings, new jobs and the births of our children. But what about those little things – those simple pleasures of each day that add to the richness of life?

Exercise:

Develop a “little things” journal to capture the small and highly important life events that happen each day.

Block out 30 minutes over this coming weekend to start your list with at least 100 of these little things, which may actually be the big things that make life so meaningful.

“The only things that stand between a person and what they want in life are the will to try it and the faith to believe it’s possible.”

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“The only things that stand between a person and what they want in life are the will to try it and the faith to believe it’s possible.”

– Rich DeVos, co-founder of Amway

Many years ago, I read a book by Wayne Dyer entitled Manifest Your Destiny. In it, Dyer suggests that each person represents a miracle manifested by God – and that since we were created by God, we too have the capacity to create and intentionally manifest our lives.

DeVos is recommending that we exercise our faith muscle and believe that greater things in our lives are possible, and that we mobilize our will to take the necessary action to realize these possibilities.

Exercise:

Consider picking up a copy of Dyer’s book (http://www.amazon.com/Manifest-Your-Destiny-Principles-Everything/dp/0060928921). I also enjoyed a second book by Dyer, The Power of Intention, which you may also wish to read (http://www.amazon.com/Power-Intention-Dr-Wayne-Dyer/dp/1401902162).

Print out this quote and post it in a prominent place in your world as a reminder to believe that great things are possible and to take the courageous action toward these possibilities each day.