“Behind every criticism is a veiled wish.”
—Esther Perel, Belgian psychotherapist
Image from Unsplash by ahi ismail
How do you feel when you are criticized?
How often is your immediate response to defend yourself or perhaps go on the offense and attack others?
Explore a few recent interactions in which you were criticized for something you did or didn’t do.
Dig deeper into the thoughts and emotions of that person to see if there was a hidden desire or veiled wish below their barbed message. What did they secretly want that was not communicated in an acceptable way?
How might you shift your perspective and translate the harshness of their words into simple requests that would have a higher probability of acceptance?
A few books that can help your relationship skills are Fierce Conversations by Susan Scott, Crucial Conversations, and Crucial Confrontations.
Please send an email to firstname.lastname@example.org or reply to this post with your email address and I will be pleased to send you a copy of my one page Communication Toolbox.
“Wishes cost nothing unless you want them to come true.”
—Frank Tyger, 20th century American editorial cartoonist
Image from Unsplash by Valentin Petkov
It’s the time of year for sending holiday wishes to Santa and prayers to higher powers for the things we desire. With Black Friday and Cyber Monday, nobody can escape the abundance of retail and online enticements.
If you happen to be a Santa to others in your personal or professional life, you clearly know the objective cost of making other’s wishes come true.
But what about the wishes money can’t buy, such as better health, improved relationships, and of course, greater peace on earth?
What are your intrinsic and extrinsic wishes for these holidays, and the new year?
What will it take and what will it cost for all of these wishes to come true?
“Success today requires the agility and drive to constantly rethink, reinvigorate, react, and reinvent.”
—Bill Gates, founder of Microsoft
Image from wordpress
Imagine you are Aladdin with a magic lamp and three wishes to dramatically enhance your life. How many of your wishes would be extrinsic rather than intrinsic in nature?
What internal qualities and personal characteristics would you seek to more fully realize your vision of a brighter, more fulfilling future?
Consider that you already have your own internal magic lamp within you. Where will you begin, today, to use it to rethink, reinvigorate, and reinvent whatever aspect of your world you choose?