“When you say, ‘YES’ to others, make sure you are not saying, ‘NO’ to yourself.”
—Paulo Coelho, Brazilian Author
Throughout the seven years I’ve been writing The Quotable Coach blog, I’ve posted numerous times about saying, “Yes” and “No” to requests made by others in our personal and professional communities.
To add a bit more bite to this subject, I’d like to add the words, “Oh,” “Heck,” and even “Hell” before the No’s and Yeses, to see if it creates a bigger shift in how you react and what you agree to do.
Where would saying, “Hell No!” to others and “Hell Yes!” to yourself a few more times make the biggest difference in your world?
You may consider using the concepts from the book, The Power of a Positive No by William Ury to find more polite ways to communicate your decision.
“Your life only gets better when you get better.”
Image from Flickr by Bart
Personal and organizational development are multi-billion dollar industries. It is estimated that the coaching profession is somewhere near the three billion dollar mark.
What causes this trend to continue pointing upward?
Perhaps it is simply that we all desire better lives, and that bettering ourselves is the easiest way to influence and control our own destiny.
When we work on bettering ourselves, we give our lives direction and set forth goals to pursue and achieve. This “creative tension” literally pulls, or draws us, to the realization of a better future.
Where can you or are you actively working on yourself to realize the better life you desire? Consider discussing this question with a coach, mentor, or close friend who will hold your feet to the fire and increase your chances of success.
“You can be a good person with a kind heart and still say NO.”
image from drdavidgeier.com
‘NO’ is one of the most important and powerful words in our language. At home and at work, we use it to protect ourselves, and to stand up for the things and people that truly matter to us.
The word ‘NO,’ used incorrectly, can also destroy what we value the most, by alienating and angering people.
In his book “The Power of a Positive NO,” William Ury—a top Harvard Professor—shares his secret to saying ‘NO’ without destroying our most important and valued relationships.
In addition to purchasing his book, please check out Professor Ury’s TED talk about the walk from ‘NO’ to ‘YES.’
“Remember, all the answers you need are inside of you; you only have to become quiet enough to hear them.”
—Debbie Ford, author of The Dark Side of the Light Chasers
Image from Pinterest
Take a moment to reflect on your day so far.
How much quietness, peace, serenity, and tranquility have you experienced? On the other hand, how much stress, chaos, multi-tasking, and general noise have you experienced?
If you have plenty of quiet time, you are one of the lucky ones who have time to think and reflect on the important questions life may be asking.
If your life fits more with the second category, you may be unable to hear yourself think.
Find a special location in both your personal and professional worlds to spend just ten minutes per day in quiet reflection, to discover the important answers to the questions life is asking.
“Now is the watchdog of the wise.”
—Charles H. Spurgeon, 19th Century British Preacher
Image from Flickr by Emmanuel Tabard
Take a few minutes to picture a very wise individual. This may be someone you know, an historic figure, a spiritual leader, or perhaps you will conjure someone in your imagination.
Notice the qualities and characteristics you most appreciate and admire, that caused you to place them on your “short list” of special individuals.
Of particular note is the ability of these people to be fully present in the “now” of life, instead of taking daily journeys into the past or future. Such people are often characterized as being happy, content, peaceful, serene, alert, aware, authentic, and open.
Consider checking out two books I recommend on this subject:
The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle
The Book of Awakening by Mark Nepo
“A beautiful question is an ambitious yet actionable question that can begin to shift the way we perceive or think about something.”
—Warren Berger, American Journalist
Image from Unsplash by Jonathan Simcoe
Coaches love beautiful and powerful questions. In fact, if coaches were Batman, our utility belts would be filled with them!
What if you were to begin questioning all areas of your life, to determine what is truly working and what is not? What might your answers show, and what choices or actions might you take moving forward?
As a reader of The Quotable Coach, you are astute and have probably noticed that I’ve filled this post with questions!
What are a few of your favorite, most beautiful questions? What questions keep you on your toes and move your life forward? How might you use coaching questions to support the lives of those for whom you care?
“We discover greatness within once we learn to cultivate and celebrate it in others.”
—Brendon Burchard, American Motivational Author
Image from lenramsay.com
Being a coach is an extraordinarily rewarding profession. Each day I have the opportunity to encourage and support the greatness of others, personally and professionally.
I find helping those I work with do the same in their communities a tremendously satisfying way of living and working.
As more members of our communities operate this way, we generate a “coaching culture” in which individuals and organizations thrive.
Where and in what ways can you more fully experience your own greatness through the generous and passionate support of others in your worlds?
Feel free to reach out to me directly if you would like some assistance in this effort.
“At the end of our lives we will all ask, ‘Did I Live? Did I Love? Did I Matter?’”
—Brendon Burchard, American Motivational Author
Image from careerconfidential.com
Don’t wait a second more!
Ask these questions immediately. Don’t stop asking them until you discover the answer and do something about it, if your answer is not to your liking.
Take some time to deeply explore what it truly means to live, to love, and to matter.
Consider taking a look at the people you respect and admire, who could set an example for you to follow. Start spending more time with these people and let their expansive efforts, living, and loving soak right into your bones.
As you continue to live more fully a life with no regrets, how can you help others you care deeply about do the same?