“If you know what to do…”

Posted on December 1, 2014 by Barry

“If you know what to do to reach your goal, it’s not a big enough goal.”

– Bob Proctor, Author and Speaker

Photo from Flickr by Beth Jusino

Do you find yourself thinking a goal you’ve set is just too far beyond your reach or capabilities?

Today’s quote suggests that we must strive toward the goals we think are too big, too far away, too hard to realize, even when we are not certain how to reach them. Everything else is just “playing it safe.”

EXERCISE:

Review your list of current goals. Is there enough “stretch” in them to truly support the achievement and personal growth you desire? If you find your list a bit lacking, consider working with a coach, mentor, or committed colleague to go a bit bigger.

Thanksgiving from Barry Demp

Posted on November 26, 2014 by Barry

TQC Thanksgiving-01

Dear Friends:

Thanksgiving, to me, is more than a holiday, a great meal, and big football games.

Thanks-Giving—gratitude—is a way of life, a discipline and for many, a spiritual practice.

Today I give thanks for all of you—my friends, followers, clients, and colleagues. Each of you have enriched my life by allowing me into your mind, your heart, or your world.

May this Thanks-Giving bring you laughter, love, and thanks for all that you have and all that comes to you over the next year.

Gratefully,

Barry Demp

“Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like…”

Posted on November 25, 2014 by Barry

“Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.”

— William Arthur Ward, one of America’s most quoted writers

Photo from Flickr by Steven Depolo

Six or seven years ago the economy in Michigan and the U.S. hit a rough patch. Most people were tightening their belts and cutting back on unessential expenditures.

That year, my wife Wendy and I agreed that we would take the vacation we both desired, and consider the trip the only holiday gift we would give each other.

When the holidays arrived, I was shocked and upset to find a pile of presents in front of our fireplace. Before I could utter a word, Wendy said: “Calm down. I know you think I’ve broken my promise. Before you say anything, please open one of the gifts.”

To my surprise, she had boxed and wrapped many of my favorite things from around the house — my favorite book, a special tie, my most comfortable sweater — because she wanted to express her love and gratitude to me by surprising me with gifts to unwrap.

EXERCISE:

What new and creative ways can you find to express your gratitude this Thanksgiving, and throughout this holiday season?

The Worst Walls

Posted on November 21, 2014 by Barry

“The worst walls are never the ones you find in your way. The worst walls are the ones you put there – you build yourself.”

– Ursula K. LeGuin, American 20th century science fiction writer

Image from Flickr by Eric Lockhart

Many years ago, I was having a conversation with a fellow coach. The discussion centered on the claim of “breakthrough results” in his company’s marketing materials.

Although this phrase is often considered jargon or “consultant-speak,” he pointed out that in order for a breakthrough to occur, a barrier must be overcome.

This quote reminds us that we are the architects and builders of some of our own barriers. What makes the walls we build the worst and perhaps the most difficult to break through is the fact that we may not even know we have constructed them, or that they are actually stopping us.

EXERCISE:

In the next day or so, spend some time working with a mentor, close friend, colleague, or coach, who can help you examine and explore some of the internal walls you have built. Once identified, develop a plan and a support structure to get to the other side.

“Getting over a painful experience is much like…”

Posted on November 20, 2014 by Barry

“Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward.”

—C.S. Lewis, 19th century novelist, poet, and essayist

Photo from Flickr by RawheaD Rex

Over the course of my 21 years as a coach, I’ve seen just about every sorrow and success a person can experience. Peaks and valleys, stepping up and sliding down, are par for the course and no one is immune to life’s fluctuations.

I’ve also noticed that the people with the greatest sense of balance, happiness, and satisfaction are those who experience life events for whatever they are, and don’t hold on too long. They’ve learned to let go in order to move on.

EXERCISE:

Examine your own life or the lives of those close to you. Is assistance needed to let go of past painful experiences in order to move forward? Consider requesting or offering assistance where appropriate.

“Life is like an elevator. On your way up…”

Posted on November 19, 2014 by Barry

“Life is like an elevator. On your way up, sometimes you have to stop and let some people off.”

– Author Unknown

Phot from Flicker by Lars Kristian Flem

Virtually everyone entering a coaching relationship desires a new and better future, and finds it difficult to achieve their goals on their own, or wants to speed up the process.

Often, through coaching, they discover internal and external barriers that limit or block their success. External barriers can include critical personal or professional relationships that don’t support the journey, and those that sabotage or stop the progress altogether.

EXERCISE:

Take a moment to consider if there are people in your life that need to be let off your “life elevator.” How can you take this important step and do it courteously and respectfully?

“Normal day, let me be aware of the treasure…”

Posted on November 18, 2014 by Barry

“Normal day, let me be aware of the treasure you are. Let me not pass you by in quest of some rare and perfect tomorrow.”

– Mary Jean Irion, Pennsylvania Teacher and Writer

Photo from Flickr by Jan

Have you ever sat in front of your TV, eating chips or another favorite snack, only to find your fingers at the bottom of an empty bag, searching for more, and wondering how you could have possibly eaten your way through all those treats?

Just like food we consume mindlessly, our days, months, and years sometimes fly by unnoticed, because we think there’s plenty more “in the bag,” or simply because we do not cherish each moment as a precious gift.

EXERCISE:

If you knew your days were numbered (which they are) how would you spend this “normal day”?

“Don’t be distracted by criticism. Remember…”

Posted on November 17, 2014 by Barry

“Don’t be distracted by criticism. Remember… the only taste of success some people have is when they take a bite out of you.”

—Zig Ziglar, American author, salesman, and motivational speaker

Photo from Flickr by Stuart Richards

How are you doing on your personal success journey? If you gave yourself a grade, would you be deserving of an “A+”? Or would it be something less remarkable?

It’s not unusual for most of us to be distracted by nay-Sayers – those who cause us to doubt our progress and take our foot off the gas, even if it is only momentary.

Perhaps the critics feel that as we move forward, they fall further behind. They point the finger at us rather than themselves in an attempt to sabotage our efforts or deflate our sense of accomplishment so they can feel better about themselves.

EXERCISE:

How can you invite more people in your professional and personal worlds to join you in their own success journey? Should they choose not to come along, how will you shield yourself from their biting criticism? What if you removed the toxic individuals from your life entirely?

“We all want to say yes…”

Posted on November 14, 2014 by Barry

“We all want to say yes, because with yes comes so much opportunity, but with power of no comes focus and engagement.”
—Jared Leto, American actor, singer, songwriter, and director.

Image from Amazon.com

Today’s quote immediately brought to mind William Ury’s 2007 book, The Power of the Positive No.

Ury is a renowned negotiator, mediator, and Harvard professor who saw the need to stop some of the madness of the limitless choices in our high stress world. He promotes the concept of a “positive NO” to make room for what really counts – our own needs, values, and priorities.

EXERCISE:

How will the power of the positive NO provide you the level of focus and engagement you need to bring about the YESES for your most important opportunities?

“If you know what to do to reach your goal, it’s not a big enough goal.”

– Bob Proctor, Author and Speaker

EXERCISE:

“Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.”

— William Arthur Ward, one of America’s most quoted writers

EXERCISE:

“If you are really thankful, what do you do? You share.”

— W. Clement Stone, businessman, philanthropist and self-help book author

EXERCISE:

“The worst walls are never the ones you find in your way. The worst walls are the ones you put there – you build yourself.”

– Ursula K. LeGuin, American 20th century science fiction writer

EXERCISE:

“Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward.”

—C.S. Lewis, 19th century novelist, poet, and essayist

EXERCISE:

“Life is like an elevator. On your way up, sometimes you have to stop and let some people off.”

– Author Unknown

EXERCISE:

“Normal day, let me be aware of the treasure you are. Let me not pass you by in quest of some rare and perfect tomorrow.”

– Mary Jean Irion, Pennsylvania Teacher and Writer

EXERCISE:

“Don’t be distracted by criticism. Remember… the only taste of success some people have is when they take a bite out of you.”

—Zig Ziglar, American author, salesman, and motivational speaker

EXERCISE:

“We all want to say yes, because with yes comes so much opportunity, but with power of no comes focus and engagement.” —Jared Leto, American actor, singer, songwriter, and director.

EXERCISE:

“We all want to say yes, because with yes comes so much opportunity, but with power of no comes focus and engagement.”
—Jared Leto, American actor, singer, songwriter, and director.