#84: “Be always at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let each new year find you a better man.”

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– Benjamin Franklin, one of the Founding Fathers of the United States

I like bargains and two-for-one sales. This quote is a three-for-one! In Ben Franklin’s time, the word “vices” perhaps meant “behaviors that do not better oneself or another.” Today, I suggest we consider the word “habits” instead.

The idea of being a better person points to our ability to learn, grow, and improve as individuals.

Exercise:

What habits/vices will you declare war upon? Which relationships in your life are ones where you will make a stand for peace? In what ways do you intend to be a better person next year, versus today?

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#83: “The most important human endeavor is the striving for morality in our actions…”

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“…Our inner balance, and even our very existence, depends on it. Only morality in our actions can give beauty and dignity to our lives.”

– Albert Einstein, theoretical physicist

Watching the Olympic Games over the past couple of weeks has been a highlight of my summer. Beyond the gold medals and extraordinary human achievement, we all got to see some special human moments of great beauty and dignity.

Did you see them too?

  • Athletes showing tears of joy in respect and honor of their country’s national anthem
  • Athletes thanking a higher power for their gifts and achievements
  • Athletes honoring their team-mates and competitors
  • The world coming together in peace to celebrate the human spirit

Exercise:

How can you bring your highest moral values and actions to each day and to those people around you, to experience greater beauty, balance and dignity in your life?

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#82: “It is inevitable that some defeat will enter even the most victorious life.”

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“…The human spirit is never finished when it is defeated… it is finished when it surrenders.”

– Ben Stein, American writer, actor, economist and lawyer

With the 2012 Olympic Games now complete, we can all be inspired by many highlights. Among them are numerous examples of individuals who came up short in previous games, and returned after 4 – 8 years of work to achieve their goal.

Some examples include:

  • Brittney Reese, who won gold in the women’s long jump, after coming fifth in 2008
  • Sanya Richards-Ross, who won gold in the 400 meters, after winning bronze in 2008
  • Allyson Felix, who won gold in the 200 meters, after winning silver in 2004 and 2008

Someone once shared with me the phrase, “What stops people is that they stop.” In virtually all areas of life, we experience various degrees of defeat. When we surrender or stop in our efforts, our failures are final.

Exercise:

Where in your professional and personal life can you keep going and persist in your efforts, to achieve an even more victorious life?

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#81: “A man’s life is interesting primarily when he has failed…”

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“… I well know. For it’s a sign that he tried to surpass himself.”

– Georges Clemenceau, French journalist, physician and statesman

The 2012 Olympic Games recently ended. Each country, team and individual was highly focused on winning gold. What did it mean to the individuals who did not make it to the Olympics, or who did not make it through the preliminaries, the semi-finals, or stand on the podium with a medal?

This year’s Olympics had about 16,000 athletes for a world that contains over 7 billion people. How many medals were actually won and how many athletes, by the lack of a medal, “failed”?

Consider how many other athletes experience the great, often quiet, victories of achievement – of achieving their personal best.

Exercise:

What would be necessary for you to continually strive to surpass yourself?

What would be involved in achieving a “ten” in living? Or, to put it another way, what would you need to do to achieve a gold medal life?

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#80: “Just do what you do best.”

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– Red Auerbach, American basketball coach

As parents of two children in their mid-20s, my wife and I were always focused on their growth and development. From the moment they were born, “What will they become? How can we support their success?” were questions we often asked ourselves.

I believe that we, as parents, are caretakers of these young souls, for the purposes of both keeping them safe and secure, and exposing them to the world to discover their gifts and their talents through the various experiences and opportunities through their life journey.

Exercise:

To what extent are you and those closest to you doing what you do best?

What efforts can you make to further discover and express these unique abilities in the future?

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#79: “Love the giver more than the gift.”

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– Brigham Young

I read the book The Five Love Languages many years ago, to enhance my relationship with my wife. I often recommend it to my coaching clients, to help them better understand their partners. The gist of the book is that we have different ways of showing love to one another. We almost always choose to show love in the same way that we like to receive it.

By tuning into one another’s offerings of love, we can embrace these gifts in the way they are intended – instead of missing the message because we’re simply not speaking the same love language.

Exercise:

How could you fully love the givers in your life by fully embracing every gift they have to offer, in their language?

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#78: “No one who rises before dawn 360 days a year fails to make his family rich.”

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– Chinese proverb

When I was little, I remember waking up very early on Saturday mornings to watch cartoons. There were no VCRs or DVRs: if you didn’t get up, you missed it! I guess watching cartoons and playing was my “work.” I did this work gladly because it brought me pleasure.

As adults, many people begrudgingly wake up to go to work, in order to earn a living and take care of their families.

Exercise:

What would get you to leap out of bed each morning, with that excitement of youth? What skills could you master and what riches would you attract into your life?

How can you go beyond simply making a living to making your life a masterpiece?

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The Quotable Coach on OC Talk Radio – Recording Now Available

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If you weren’t able to listen to my recent interview with Doug Gfeller on OC Talk Radio, you haven’t missed out.

Doug has posted a recording of the interview on his Podbean site, This Week on The Coaching Perspective.

As well as discussing The Quotable Coach, we also talked about my coaching work (through Barry Demp Coaching) and my business strategies.

Click here to find out more, and to listen to the recording.

#77: “Ah, but a man’s reach should exceed his grasp – or what’s a heaven for?”

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– Robert Browning

In the early 1990s, Robert Fritz wrote a book called The Path of Least Resistance. A key concept from this book is “Creative Tension.” Fritz describes this special form of tension as an attractive force that pulls and draws us from our “current reality” to our “committed vision.”

The phrase “I’m looking forward to the weekend” is a good example of positive creative tension. Many people, however, do not look forward to Mondays, due to their undesirable jobs or unfulfilling careers.

With this simple concept in mind, maybe all we need to do each day is to formulate something worth reaching for, beyond our current grasp.

Exercise:

What will you reach for today, tomorrow, and in the future?

Perhaps you will even experience a bit more heaven, here on earth.

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#76: “If you do everything calmly, with intense concentration, you’ll do everything at the correct speed.”

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– Paramahansa Yogananda

We all have an optimum rhythm or speed of life. If you play golf, what is your optimal club head speed? If you run, what is your optimal speed for a 5K? If you drive a car, what is your preferred speed for highway driving, to have you arrive safely?

Exercise:

What critical activities do you engage in each day? At what speed do you find your optimal effectiveness? And where do you need to develop greater calmness and concentration to find your correct speed of life?

Quotes are posted on The Quotable Coach a week after being sent out by email. To get the latest quotes straight to your inbox, pop your details in the sidebar to the right.