Tag Archives: Barry Demp Coaching

“When elephants fight, it’s the grass that suffers.”

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“When elephants fight, it’s the grass that suffers.”

—African proverb

Image from Unsplash by Jonathan Plugaru

Who are the elephants in your world? Take a look through your personal and professional communities. Look also beyond your immediate communities to national and global elephants that are throwing their weight around.

How are their skirmishes and all-out brawls impacting the grass and smaller, less powerful creatures beneath their feet? How much disruption, destruction, and scars are left that may never fully heal?

EXERCISE:

Where and how can you use the sunnier, milder days of the coming spring to calm the elephants in your world?

What actions can you take to reseed your world for all creatures to graze in peace?

“If your ladder is not leaning against the right wall, every step you take gets you to the wrong place faster.”

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“If your ladder is not leaning against the right wall, every step you take gets you to the wrong place faster.”

—Stephen Covey, 20th Century American writer & educator

Image from Unsplash by Debby Hudson

What did you want to be when you were little?

Who did you look up to and admire and what was it about those special people that inspired you?

How energized and excited did you feel, given the anticipation of one day climbing a similar life ladder to reach your own pinnacles of success?

What ladders are you currently climbing in your vocational efforts? How confident and sure are you that it is absolutely leaning against the right wall, the one that aligns with your vision and values?

This past year full of economic and social upheaval has caused vast amounts of unemployment. Many people face significant challenges in adequately providing for their families. The transition process has caused many to reconsider if they truly want to get back to climbing the same ladder, leaning against the same or a similar wall.

EXERCISE:

If that scenario resonates with you or someone you know, please consider picking up a copy of the 2020 edition of What Color is your Parachute by Richard Nelson Bolles.

Jump, and you will find out how to unfold your wings as you fall.”

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“Jump, and you will find out how to unfold your wings as you fall.”

—Ray Bradbury, in Fahrenheit 451

Image from Unsplash by Marty Southwell

Imagine your life if you were a baby bird. Once you emerge from your shell, you begin taking in the outer world. In the beginning, all seems pretty safe and calm within the nest. Mom and Dad bring tasty bugs and critters to eat, and perhaps you have to fight a few siblings to get your share.

With all this food, you and your family grow, and the nest that was once safe and cozy gets a bit crowded. It is time for Mom and Dad to become empty-nesters!

Where and when have you had baby bird moments in your life? Explore the numerous times you needed to jump and unfold your wings as you began to fall, then soared to higher heights.

EXERCISE:

What personal or professional growth opportunities are calling you? When will you take the leap so that your life can continue to unfold?

 

 

“Nobody notices what you do until you do not do it.”

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“Nobody notices what you do until you do not do it.”

—Author Unknown

Image from Unsplash by John Cameron

How tired do you feel at the end of a long, challenging day?

Before you head to bed tonight, look at all you did personally and professionally to serve and support others.

How much gratitude and sincere appreciation came your way?

Alternatively, how much and how many of your efforts seemed to be taken for granted or were simply expected by those around you?

Who would notice and what would they notice if you did not fulfill your duties?

Now reverse the situation and look closely at what all the people in your world do for you. Where are you missing or taking for granted the multitude of efforts of others due to your ingrained expectations?

These days, perhaps more than ever, we need to see all people as essential workers who make our lives much better for their generous efforts.

EXERCISE:

How might paying closer attention to the big and small efforts of others, and a few more words of acknowledgment and appreciation help all of us fall to sleep tonight with a smile of satisfaction?

 

FRIDAY REVIEW: INTEGRITY

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FRIDAY REVIEW: INTEGRITY

How do you define integrity in yourself and in others? Here are a few integrity-related posts you may have missed.

 

“Be impeccable with your word. Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.”

 

 

“Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.”

 

 

 

 

“Bad company corrupts good character.”

 

 

 

 

 

“Nothing burns like the cold.”

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“Nothing burns like the cold.”

—George R.R. Martin, Author of Game of Thrones

Image from Unsplash by Frank Busch

Back in February, a wave of arctic air blew across Michigan. Not wanting to miss my daily walk, I bundled up and set forth to put in my 10,000+ steps.

During half of my walk, the wind was at my back and my steps felt easy and steady. Heading in the other direction, with the wind in my face, I noticed the considerable chill and the burn on my face, thighs, and fingers.

Where else do you experience cold in your worlds? Take some time to look at relationships — personal or professional — that are adversarial, in which you might be giving or getting the cold shoulder, or a frigid reception. Where do you notice the burn of anger, resentment, indifference, and judgment?

EXERCISE:

Consider engaging in a loving kindness meditation to warm up relationships in your personal and professional communities.

Sharing your experience of this exercise will be like adding another log to the fires of friendship. Please reply to this post with your own perspective.

“Life is like dessert. Keep your fork; the best is yet to come.”

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“Life is like dessert. Keep your fork; the best is yet to come.”

—Andy Andrews, The Noticer

Image from Unsplash by Max Panamá

Today’s quote makes me think of my wonderful wife, Wendy. We have been together for over forty-five years. During our time together, I have gained a far deeper appreciation and love for her and all that she brings to our lives.

Following dinner, she frequently asks for something sweet to alter the flavors from our often savory or spicy meals. She sometimes takes only a modest portion of the meal in order to assure there is room for dessert. Perhaps this is the reason she has become a skilled baker during the pandemic — to remind us that the best is yet to come.

EXERCISE:

Where and how can and will you save a bit more room for the sweeter things in life?

What would be the value of having dessert at the start instead of it being an afterthought once you are too full to enjoy it?

“There is a gap between stimulus and response, and the key to both our growth and happiness is how we use that space.”

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“There is a gap between stimulus and response, and the key to both our growth and happiness is how we use that space.”

—Stephen Covey, 20th century American author & educator

Image from Unsplash by Brett Jordan

This past year has been disturbing and remarkable at the same time. My initial experience of the pandemic and other challenges confronting us was to become angry, frustrated, and down. My world seemed smaller and I felt increasingly confined and limited.

Eventually I stopped looking exclusively outside myself and began a far more intentional and rigorous journey within.

Through numerous practices such as meditation, daily walks, and extensive reading, I found the gaps. I took longer pauses in my thinking and feelings, which provided significant freedom and greater opportunities and possibilities to choose my responses.

Discovering this capacity to be increasingly mindful and aware of my own inner power has enhanced my growth and life satisfaction in many surprising ways.

EXERCISE:

How can and will you use the spaces between stimulus and response to more mindfully navigate life?

I’d very much like to learn about your efforts and progress, and hope you will consider replying to this and future posts.

“Knowledge is like underwear. It is useful to have it, but not necessary to show it off.”

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“Knowledge is like underwear. It is useful to have it, but not necessary to show it off.”

—Bill Murray, American actor

Image created in Canva

Who are the people in your world who give you instructions to build a clock when all you ask is the time?

Knowledge can definitely be useful, but too much of a good thing can go awry pretty quickly.

We all wish to be helpful, to be of service, and to contribute. Unfortunately, in our many efforts to do so by sharing what we know, we do not always consider the openness and receptivity of those we wish to enlighten.

EXERCISE:

Where would it be much wiser to share far less of what you know in either your professional or personal communities? We all know no one likes a know-it-all.

Friday Review: Simplicity

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FRIDAY REVIEW: SIMPLICITY

In a complex world, simplicity can be helpful. Here are a few simplicity-related posts you may have missed. Click to read the full message.

 

“If you can’t explain it to a six year old, you don’t understand it yourself.”

 

 

 

“A wonderful gift may not be wrapped as you expect.”

 

 

 

“The rising sun blesses my mind with joy. The setting sun blesses my heart with peace.”