Monthly Archives: January 2018

Grudges get heavier the longer they are carried

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“Grudges get heavier the longer they are carried.”

—P.K. Thomajan, 20th Century Essayist

Image of a man carrying a heavy sack

Image from Unsplash by Brooke Lark

I find it particularly interesting that many people do not always experience the holiday season with the joy and happiness the media would suggest.

With the season now in our rear-view mirror, I’ve observed many of my professional colleagues, friends, and clients share some not so happy tales of gatherings that went badly, due to the less than warm feelings carried into these occasions.

Perhaps not so surprising is the fact that many people avoid these gatherings altogether, and have done so for many years, due to the heaviness of the grudges they carry.

EXERCISE:

With whom are you carrying a heavy and burdensome grudge, personally or professionally?

What strategies and approaches can you use to lighten your load and improve these relationships?

Consider picking up a copy of Fierce Conversations by Susan Scott, for some strategies to consider.

Everyone is a moon

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“Everyone is a moon and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody.”

—Mark Twain, in Following the Equator

Image of a full moon in a volatile sky

Image from Unsplash by Brooke Lark

Did you know that when you look up at the night sky and view a full moon you are seeing exactly what every other human – and for that matter, every other creature on Earth – has viewed for millennium?

Based on the rotational speed of the moon and the position of the Earth and Sun, we only get to see one-half of the moon’s surface.

People are like the moon, in that they often only present the sunny side of themselves. We sometimes tend to keep our dark side – including our weaknesses, fears, and perceived imperfections – hidden from view.

EXERCISE:

How might an exploration of your dark side, and perhaps revealing it to those you trust, create new opportunities and possibilities for you over (at least) the next lunar cycle?

The Gist of New Years Day

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“The gist of New Year’s Day is: Try Again.”

Frank Crane, 20th Century American Film Director

Image of a woman holding a calendar

Image from Unsplash by Brooke Lark

If you ever established a New Year’s Resolution and came up short, you are not alone.

Statistics show over 90% of people have the same experience.

Studies have shown that even when doctors tell heart patients they will die if they don’t change their habits, only one in seven will be able to follow through successfully.

It appears that desire and motivation aren’t enough, even when it is literally a matter of life or death.

It is also clear that the status quo has a pretty tight grip on what Roger Kegan calls The Immunity to Change.

What patterns of thinking and doing would have your “Try Again” efforts work this time?

EXERCISE:

Beyond limiting your focus on fewer priority objectives, consider adding a wide variety of social and structural supports to bolster your motivation and ability to succeed this time.