Category Archives: Love

You Cannot Master

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“Though you can love what you do not master, you cannot master what you do not love.”

—Mokokoma Mokhonoana, South African Philosopher and Social Critic

Photo from makesafetyfun.com

Photo from makesafetyfun.com

Generally, the people who experience the greatest success and fulfillment in their professional lives demonstrated three key factors:

  1. They are enthusiastic and passionate about their work. Many would engage in whatever it is they do even if the monetary rewards were more modest.
  2. Because they love what they do, they commit massive amounts of time to the practice, and eventual mastery, of the skills involved.
  3. The final piece that accompanies this love and mastery is often the value ascribed to it by the meritocracy in which we live, and the rewards we often receive. How much is it worth in dollars and cents?

EXERCISE:

How and in what ways can doing more of what you love lead you toward a life of greater mastery and success? Consider reading one or more of these books, which speak in one form or another, to the spirit of today’s quote:

What to Do When it’s Your Turn by Seth Godin
Linchpin by Seth Godin
Happier  by Tal Ben-Shahar
The Happiness Project by Gretchen Ruben

“I Love Cooking for…”

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“I love cooking for myself and cooking for my family.”

—Al Roker, NBC weather anchor

photo from Flickr by Nicole Abalde

photo from Flickr by Nicole Abalde

From my youth, I have loved to cook, often helping my mom during holidays or on weekends. We would frequently create a production-line to make and freeze dishes for future meals.

As a teenager, I worked for Colonel Sanders cooking Kentucky Fried Chicken, then at several delicatessens, and as a baker’s apprentice at a restaurant/bakery.

As an adult, I delight in the creative aspects of cooking. I love the limitless combinations of ingredients, and the resulting aromas and tastes.

By far, the greatest pleasure comes from sharing my passion with those I love, especially my family. For me, cooking is a special love language, in which I literally serve those I care about most deeply.

EXERCISE:

In what ways do you express your love for those you care about most?

Consider picking up a copy of The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. In these pages, you can explore how best to demonstrate your love, and receive the love others are sending your way.

“Because of a great love, one is courageous.”

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“Because of a great love, one is courageous.”

—Lao Tzu, founder of Taoism
590“Operating outside your comfort zone” is perhaps one of the most commonly used phrases in the coaching and professional development industries.

Unfortunately, the overuse of this concept means it sometimes sounds a bit trite, and it often gets overlooked or neglected due to its familiarity.

Today’s quote points to a primary reason why we decide to be courageous and stretch beyond our current state.

Exercise:

Examine the relationship of love and commitment as a source of courage in your professional and personal life. Notice where this courage mobilizes you to take the necessary risk to move outside your current self-imposed limitations.

For extra credit, consider emailing me (barry@dempcoaching.com) with some phrase you have heard, or used, as an alternative to “operating outside your comfort zone.”

For instance, I often use the question, “Where does your commitment supersede your comfort?”

“Love is a fruit in season at all times and within reach of every hand.”

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“Love is a fruit in season at all times and within reach of every hand.”

—Mother Teresa, Catholic saint and Nobel peace prize winner

Image from Flickr by Skyseeker

I do the majority of the food shopping in my family. When I was a young boy, my mom would often take us to the supermarket where we would get a little coaching on how to pick the best produce – including the ripest and sweetest fruits, in season, of course.

Today’s mega-markets have all types of fruits in all seasons due to the advent of worldwide distribution channels. In many ways, these varieties seem a bit less tasty due to the processing required to have them make their considerable journeys.

Love, as Mother Teresa suggests, is the choicest fruit and is always at hand in every season. We don’t even need to go to the market to fill our lives and homes with its sweetness and abundance.

Exercise:

Love not only makes the world go round but also makes the ride worthwhile. How can and will you sweeten your life and the lives of others today, and throughout every season?

“The best use of life is love. The best expression of love is time. And the best time to love is now.”

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“The best use of life is love. The best expression of love is time. And the best time to love is now.”

– Rick Warren, Christian pastor and author

In the world of business and executive coaching, the subject of love is rarely discussed in great depth. In the field of life or personal coaching, it’s far more acceptable and often very welcomed.

Many coaches, including myself, believe that all coaching is life coaching, with variable degrees of focus on the areas of greatest importance. When you dig into these areas, of course, what you then discover is that foundation of love.

Exercise:

How can you stand on a foundation of love and give your time to those things you care deeply about – now?

“Our job is the excuse through which we get to love people.”

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“Our job is the excuse through which we get to love people.”

– Panache Desai, author of You are Enough

What percent of your life do you spend engaged in work? For the sake of today’s quote, I’m going to define work as our vocation, or the way we earn a living.

For the person working Monday through Friday, a minimum of 8 hours a day (who does that these days?) work represents approximately one fourth of our life. If the song lyrics from the Beatles tune are true, and all you need is love, or the old song love makes the world go round, then perhaps Desai is really on to something.

Exercise:

How can you view your daily work efforts as an act of love, contribution and generosity, instead of something to get through on the way to your weekend?

From Mick Brown, journalist and author

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“Ultimately the measure of every human being is their capacity to awaken the love in themselves and to extend it to their fellow man.”

– Mick Brown, journalist and author (paraphrasing Bede Griffiths)

As a business and executive coach, I tend to deal with many practical and quantifiable issues facing my clients. Beneath the surface of these objective details are the softer sides of things.

The term “love” is often consider off-limits in business – yet I find that it is often the hidden foundation of outstanding results. There is great power and connectivity that brings great possibilities to life, when we awaken and extend love to those around us.

A smile, a caring ear, a helpful act of service, a thank-you and even a hug from time to time are some simple things we can do.

Exercise:

What are some other ways you can extend your loving nature to others?