Category Archives: Relationships

“You don’t live in a world all alone. Your brothers are here too.”

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“You don’t live in a world all alone. Your brothers are here too.”

– Albert Schweitzer, German theologian and philosopher

Barry-Marvin-Rachel

(Me, my dad Marvin, and my daughter Rachel.)

My family and I recently had a vacation in the Pocono Mountains in Pennsylvania. This year, some additional friends came along to make it extra special. Of particular note were some of the many things we accomplished together to truly make our time a community affair.

In additional to numerous routine tasks, such as the preparation of meals and some cleaning and organizing projects, we supported my father Marvin (who is 88 today) on a three hour, six mile canoe ride down the Delaware river, and even took him to Camelbeach Waterpark where he experienced the adventure of some pretty thrilling water slides.

Exercise:

Where are you acting alone in the world and thus not achieving your fullest potential?

Where would supporting or working with others have you achieve even more remarkable things in your professional or personal life?

“Remember, man does not live on bread alone: sometimes he needs a little buttering up.”

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“Remember, man does not live on bread alone: sometimes he needs a little buttering up.”

– John C. Maxwell, American author, speaker and pastor

580Image from Flickr by ilovememphis.

In spite of the joy I find in cooking for family and friends, I really enjoy going out to dinner. Many restaurants serve bread and butter at the beginning of a meal, and in Italian restaurants, it is traditional to accompany the bread with some form of seasoned olive oil.

During our current low-carb craze (at least here in the US), many people are pushing that bread basket away. It turns out that many forms of bread, when consumed quickly, convert to glucose, which stimulates the pancreas to secrete insulin, which causes our body to store the glucose in the form of fat … which we all prefer to avoid.

There is evidence, however, that a modest amount of fat (in the form of butter or preferably a non-saturated fat such as olive oil) reduces this effect by reducing the Glycemic Index (GI) of the bread. There’s your science lesson for the day!

Exercise:

The quote by Maxwell above suggests that we need to attend to our important relationships to smooth the crusty edges of life.

How can you “butter up” some of your key relationships by showing greater interest, listening more fully, and allowing people to fully express their ideas and opinions?

You may wish to download my workbook on Masterful Relationships to help you. Go to www.dempcoaching.com/download-your-free-workbooks and enter the password barrydemp (all lower case).

“A true friend never gets in your way…”

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“A true friend never gets in your way unless you happen to be going down.”

– Arnold H. Glasow, author

Image from blog.bcwinstitute.org

Image from blog.bcwinstitute.org

Do you know who your true friends are? Today’s quote presents a bit of a test to help you identify the good ones. These are the people who support us in living our best lives and stand for us being all we can be.

At the same time, they are also the people who are there during life’s challenging and difficult times to lend us a shoulder to lean on – or carry us completely when things are at their darkest.

Exercise:

Thank the friends around you for being there in both good and difficult times, and while doing so, look within yourself to see how you stack up as a friend to others.

the highest advantage

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“You can rest assured that if you devote your time and attention to the highest advantage of others, the universe will support you.”

– R. Buckminster Fuller, architect and inventor

About a year ago, I picked up a copy of Dan Sullivan’s book The Laws of Lifetime Growth. Law #3 states that we should always make our contribution bigger than our reward.

Both Fuller and Sullivan suggest that a focus on creating new kinds of value for others expands our relationship with the outside world and somehow magically attracts new rewards and opportunities to us in return.

Exercise:

Imagine that giving to others and supporting their highest advantage is like making consistent daily bank deposits, and that these investments always have a high rate of return through the magic of compound interest.

“There ain’t no rules around here! We’re trying to accomplish something!”

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“There ain’t no rules around here! We’re trying to accomplish something!”

– Thomas Edison, inventor

How often have you noticed that many projects take quite a bit longer to complete than expected? Sometimes these efforts are thwarted by organizational complexity and misalignment and never see the light of day.

I fully support the use of appropriate systems and procedures when there is alignment among the group. This is often not the case, however, and issues remain unresolved due to the underlying disagreements.

Exercise:

Next time you are part of a committee, task force or project team that’s having difficulty getting something across the goal line, try using the following technique:

Step #1: Ask, “What do you think we should be doing differently, that would work better?”
Step #2: Try on the ideas of others to see if you can align with their suggestions.
Step #3: If for some reason you don’t align with their suggestions, make a counter-proposal and start again.

This iterative process will have the group challenge out-dated or dysfunctional rules – and hopefully get it back on the road to greater accomplishment.

“A friend is a loved one…”

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“A friend is a loved one who awakens your life in order to free the wild possibilities within you.”

– John O’Donohue, poet, philosopher and Catholic priest

QC #1016a

Someone once told me that friends are the family we choose for ourselves. That puts friendships in a very special category of relationships.

One of the key attributes of our friends is that they are tuned into our personal life frequencies. We are far better together than apart.

Exercise:

What are two to three areas of your life that need to be awakened? What would you consider to be a wild possibility in these areas?

Who are the friends that bring this special spark to your life, and how can you be this kind of friend for others?

Join Me Today to Learn How to Build Purposeful Relationships and Network Effectively

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At 7pm EST today, I’ll be a guest on Diane Cashin’s Radio Show “Creating Velocity in Your Life.” Cynthia de Lorenzie, CEO of Success in the City, and Gale Paige, a female veteran, will be guests also.

Join the four of us as we explore the power of developing your networking strategy to achieve your goals.

We will be discussing:

  • Defining “relationships with a purpose”
  • Making time to meet with your leaders, mentors and peers
  • Leveraging your network for mutual benefit
  • Becoming a thought leader by using the power of social networking

At 7pm EST today (Tuesday 9th October), you can:

#99: “Friendships multiply joys and divide grief.”

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– Henry George Bohn, British publisher

There is a good reason why we are social creatures. We simply live and survive better when we are part of a community. Our friendships tend to be very intentional in their ability to move us forward in life.

Have you ever noticed that successes are far sweeter when celebrated with friends and family? How much better do you feel when you experience sadness, disappointment and grief in the company of others, versus going it alone?

Exercise:

Which friends multiple your joy and divide your grief? How can you show them your gratitude?

Who in your life today would benefit from your special friendship?

Quotes are posted on The Quotable Coach a week after being sent out by email. To get the latest quotes straight to your inbox, pop your details in the sidebar to the right.

#96: “In everyone’s life, at some time, our inner fire goes out…”

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“… It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit.”

– Albert Schweitzer, humanitarian

Have you ever noticed how life has lots of ups and downs? We experience the glories of victory – and the agonies of defeat.

We have heard the life phrase “this too shall pass.” We eventually find our footing from our low points – and are brought down to earth from the peaks of life’s mountains.

This quote is about the special people in our lives that bring out our very best and ignite the fullest possibilities of living.

Exercise:

Who are the advisors, mentors, coaches, family members and friends that provide you with this spark?

Have you thanked them lately?

Where could you help rekindle the fires of others?

Quotes are posted on The Quotable Coach a week after being sent out by email. To get the latest quotes straight to your inbox, pop your details in the sidebar to the right.

Examine the contents, not the bottle

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“Examine the contents, not the bottle.”

—The Talmud, the central text of mainstream Judaism

Image of dusty wine bottles

Photo by Marco Mornati on Unsplash

We all know the adages, “Don’t judge a book by its cover,” and “Discover the beauty within.”

It is so much easier, though, to use first impressions to make quick decisions – and rarely do we ever get the full story. When this happens in our interactions with other people, we refer to these as shallow or superficial relationships.

Only when we look deeper can we fully grasp the full value and the potential that lies within others.

Exercise:

How would taking the time to examine the contents of another person’s character lead you to a more fulfilling life?

With whom in your worlds have you only scratched the surface?