Category Archives: Relationships

“There ain’t no rules around here! We’re trying to accomplish something!”

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“There ain’t no rules around here! We’re trying to accomplish something!”

– Thomas Edison, inventor

How often have you noticed that many projects take quite a bit longer to complete than expected? Sometimes these efforts are thwarted by organizational complexity and misalignment and never see the light of day.

I fully support the use of appropriate systems and procedures when there is alignment among the group. This is often not the case, however, and issues remain unresolved due to the underlying disagreements.

Exercise:

Next time you are part of a committee, task force or project team that’s having difficulty getting something across the goal line, try using the following technique:

Step #1: Ask, “What do you think we should be doing differently, that would work better?”
Step #2: Try on the ideas of others to see if you can align with their suggestions.
Step #3: If for some reason you don’t align with their suggestions, make a counter-proposal and start again.

This iterative process will have the group challenge out-dated or dysfunctional rules – and hopefully get it back on the road to greater accomplishment.

“A friend is a loved one…”

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“A friend is a loved one who awakens your life in order to free the wild possibilities within you.”

– John O’Donohue, poet, philosopher and Catholic priest

QC #1016a

Someone once told me that friends are the family we choose for ourselves. That puts friendships in a very special category of relationships.

One of the key attributes of our friends is that they are tuned into our personal life frequencies. We are far better together than apart.

Exercise:

What are two to three areas of your life that need to be awakened? What would you consider to be a wild possibility in these areas?

Who are the friends that bring this special spark to your life, and how can you be this kind of friend for others?

Join Me Today to Learn How to Build Purposeful Relationships and Network Effectively

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At 7pm EST today, I’ll be a guest on Diane Cashin’s Radio Show “Creating Velocity in Your Life.” Cynthia de Lorenzie, CEO of Success in the City, and Gale Paige, a female veteran, will be guests also.

Join the four of us as we explore the power of developing your networking strategy to achieve your goals.

We will be discussing:

  • Defining “relationships with a purpose”
  • Making time to meet with your leaders, mentors and peers
  • Leveraging your network for mutual benefit
  • Becoming a thought leader by using the power of social networking

At 7pm EST today (Tuesday 9th October), you can:

#99: “Friendships multiply joys and divide grief.”

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– Henry George Bohn, British publisher

There is a good reason why we are social creatures. We simply live and survive better when we are part of a community. Our friendships tend to be very intentional in their ability to move us forward in life.

Have you ever noticed that successes are far sweeter when celebrated with friends and family? How much better do you feel when you experience sadness, disappointment and grief in the company of others, versus going it alone?

Exercise:

Which friends multiple your joy and divide your grief? How can you show them your gratitude?

Who in your life today would benefit from your special friendship?

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#96: “In everyone’s life, at some time, our inner fire goes out…”

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“… It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit.”

– Albert Schweitzer, humanitarian

Have you ever noticed how life has lots of ups and downs? We experience the glories of victory – and the agonies of defeat.

We have heard the life phrase “this too shall pass.” We eventually find our footing from our low points – and are brought down to earth from the peaks of life’s mountains.

This quote is about the special people in our lives that bring out our very best and ignite the fullest possibilities of living.

Exercise:

Who are the advisors, mentors, coaches, family members and friends that provide you with this spark?

Have you thanked them lately?

Where could you help rekindle the fires of others?

Quotes are posted on The Quotable Coach a week after being sent out by email. To get the latest quotes straight to your inbox, pop your details in the sidebar to the right.

Examine the contents, not the bottle

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“Examine the contents, not the bottle.”

—The Talmud, the central text of mainstream Judaism

Image of dusty wine bottles

Photo by Marco Mornati on Unsplash

We all know the adages, “Don’t judge a book by its cover,” and “Discover the beauty within.”

It is so much easier, though, to use first impressions to make quick decisions – and rarely do we ever get the full story. When this happens in our interactions with other people, we refer to these as shallow or superficial relationships.

Only when we look deeper can we fully grasp the full value and the potential that lies within others.

Exercise:

How would taking the time to examine the contents of another person’s character lead you to a more fulfilling life?

With whom in your worlds have you only scratched the surface?

#79: “Love the giver more than the gift.”

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– Brigham Young

I read the book The Five Love Languages many years ago, to enhance my relationship with my wife. I often recommend it to my coaching clients, to help them better understand their partners. The gist of the book is that we have different ways of showing love to one another. We almost always choose to show love in the same way that we like to receive it.

By tuning into one another’s offerings of love, we can embrace these gifts in the way they are intended – instead of missing the message because we’re simply not speaking the same love language.

Exercise:

How could you fully love the givers in your life by fully embracing every gift they have to offer, in their language?

Quotes are posted on The Quotable Coach a week after being sent out by email. To get the latest quotes straight to your inbox, pop your details in the sidebar to the right.

#74: “Friendship is a soul dwelling in two bodies.”

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– Aristotle

In my first career, I was a science teacher. I have always been fascinated by what makes things work.

When we shift our perspective from the macro to the micro, the rules really get strange: consider the infinite universe and the infinitely small quantum world. I like the thought that there is some unifying force that holds everything together in some way.

I consider friendships and close, caring relationships as a place where we get to experience this special magical force. We can’t see it, but we have that deep, soulful feeling it is there.

Exercise:

Examine your very special relationships and their soulful quality and determine how you can take this experience to an even higher level.

Quotes are posted on The Quotable Coach a week after being sent out by email. To get the latest quotes straight to your inbox, pop your details in the sidebar to the right.

You can’t help someone get up a hill without getting closer to the top yourself.

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“You can’t help someone get up a hill without getting closer to the top yourself.”

– H. Norman Schwarzkopf, US Army General

Image of a team of mountain climbers

Image from Unsplash by Diogo Tavares

When I was a young boy, my mother would always tell my sister to take me with her. I liked being with the big kids, and I really liked feeling included.

Today, I focus much of my life on helping others grow both professional and personally. Through this process, I’ve had the great fortune of meeting many wonderful people, and have gained much satisfaction through my efforts. I also found that I too got “closer to the top” in the priority areas of my own life.

Exercise:

Where could you advise, mentor, or coach others in your life?

How can you expect to benefit through your generosity and care?

#34: “The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.”

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– Mahatma Gandhi, pacifist leader of Indian independence movement

We’ve all heard many similar quotes that speak to this truth, such as “givers gain” or “shift your life from success to significance.” I really like the idea of losing oneself in a good way: in order to find our flow, our true north, and our purpose.

When I give, I grow; I feel like I’m living a more expansive and true life. When I get, I feel good, but it’s not the same. When I do get, I am sure to take note of the pleasure and joy that the process offers for the giver.

Exercise:

Where can you serve and both lose yourself and find yourself at the same time?

Quotes are posted on The Quotable Coach a week after being sent out by email. To get the latest quotes straight to your inbox, pop your details in the sidebar to the right.