“The best use of life is love. The best expression of love is time. And the best time to love is now.”

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“The best use of life is love. The best expression of love is time. And the best time to love is now.”

– Rick Warren, Christian pastor and author

In the world of business and executive coaching, the subject of love is rarely discussed in great depth. In the field of life or personal coaching, it’s far more acceptable and often very welcomed.

Many coaches, including myself, believe that all coaching is life coaching, with variable degrees of focus on the areas of greatest importance. When you dig into these areas, of course, what you then discover is that foundation of love.

Exercise:

How can you stand on a foundation of love and give your time to those things you care deeply about – now?

“Everyone thinks of changing the world but no-one thinks of changing himself.”

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“Everyone thinks of changing the world but no-one thinks of changing himself.”

– Leo Tolstoy, author

I have to admit it: I never took the time to read War and Peace, or Anna Karenina, two of Tolstoy’s greatest novels. Maybe if Tolstoy was a blogger, I would be more versed in his work!

An interesting fact about him is that he was known as a moral thinker and social reformer. Some of his works are noted to have had significant impacts on individuals such as Mahatma Gandhi and Martin Luther King, Jr.

Exercise:

What small or large changes can you make in yourself now and in the coming year that will not only change your world but perhaps also the world around you?

“Dreams are powerful reflections of your actual growth potential.”

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“Dreams are powerful reflections of your actual growth potential.”

– Denis Waitley and Reni L. Witt, authors

The vast majority of individuals who work with a coach have “personal growth and development” as a core value. They’re constantly engaged in challenging themselves (and their own current skills and abilities) in order to be a better version of themselves tomorrow.

Dreaming and envisioning a new and brighter future has an amazingly attractive power that works as a catalyst and mobilizes these individuals to passionately and courageously act in the direction of their dreams.

One of the roles and responsibilities of a coach is to elicit, cajole, tempt and even pull these visions and dreams out of their clients with powerful and provocative questions.

Exercise:

Create a list of engaging and powerful questions for yourself and those around you that will strengthen and grow your “dreaming” muscle to expand your potential to grow into your very best self.

Consider visiting my past post for a list for another exercise to help you explore your potential: www.thequotablecoach.com/potential-2/quote-from-psychologist-and-philosopher-william-james

If you can’t explain it to a six year old, you don’t understand it yourself

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“If you can’t explain it to a six year old, you don’t understand it yourself.”

– Albert Einstein, theoretical physicist

image of Einstein with children

Image from Encyclopedia Britannica

In the world of physics, perhaps no-one is more famous than Albert Einstein. He is best known for the formula E = mc2 where E =energy, m stands for mass and c represents the speed of light.

There is genius in simplicity, in that it brings ideas and insight into our lives. Compare programming your first VCR with the simplicity of many of our plug-and-play devices today.

Exercise:

Look up the term “Occam’s Razor” and explore how making things in your life simpler is a road toward unleashing your own genius and creating a more user-friendly, workable world.

“The gratification comes in the doing, not in the result.”

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“The gratification comes in the doing, not in the result.”

– James Dean, actor

A coaching colleague, Michael Bungay Stanier, is a remarkable guy. He has built a fantastic company, Box of Crayons, and has written a number of outstanding books. Among them is one called Do More Great Work.

I find it interesting that this title emphasizes the act of doing, which comprises the vast majority of the time we spend engaged in our daily efforts, versus simply reaching the top of some professional summit or finish line, about to take a short-lived victory lap.

Exercise:

Please visit Michael’s website at boxofcrayons.biz and purchase his wonderful book and other resources to help you find your own gratification through doing more great work.

“People will cling to an unsatisfactory way of life rather than change in order to get something better, for fear of getting something worse.”

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“People will cling to an unsatisfactory way of life rather than change in order to get something better, for fear of getting something worse.”

– Eric Hoffer, moral and social philosopher

Do you know any living examples of the definition of insanity? You know, those people who keep on doing the same thing over and over, yet they expect a different result?

Perhaps one reason for their stuckness is what Hoffer suggests: the fear of getting a worse result if they change their ways.

What I have found in my years of coaching and in my own life is that high levels of commitment, combined with multiple levels of support over extended periods of time, almost always produce far better results.

Exercise:

To support you in altering some unsatisfactory part of your life, try this three-step exercise.

  1. Identify your top commitments in your life that you wish to realize.
  2. Rally support from all parts of your world.
  3. Stay in action toward these objectives and accept the risk, and over time your life will be improved.

Repeat as often as you wish.

“Habit is the daily battle-ground of character.”

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“Habit is the daily battleground of character.”

—Dan Coats, 20th Century American politician and diplomat

Image from Unsplash by Prophsee Journals

I agree with the quote above, and disagree with it at the same time.

Let’s start where I disagree. Many of us engage in a variety of not-so-wonderful habits that would be called “character flaws” by many. These habits include eating junk food, not exercising, and spending money we don’t have, leaving us in debt.

On the other hand, the good and noble habits that demonstrate character often occur initially as a battle-ground, due to the need to go outside our comfort zones.

Most people of high character would suggest that the rewards of these habits are well worth it – and over time they become far less of a struggle to maintain.

Exercise:

Choose one of your current undesirable habits and promise yourself (and those around you) that you will replace it with one that demonstrates your highest character.

If you would like additional help with this and other habits you may wish to develop, consider purchasing and implementing the strategies in the book The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg:  charlesduhigg.com/the-power-of-habit

“The race will go to the curious, the slightly mad, and those with an unsatiated passion for learning and dare-deviltry.”

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“The race will go to the curious, the slightly mad, and those with an unsatiated passion for learning and dare-deviltry.”

– Tom Peters, business author

A few weekends ago, I went to see the Formula 1 racing movie Rush, directed by Ron Howard. In this true story of the rivalry of two top drivers of the 70s was a healthy dose of passion, slight madness and dare-deviltry which actually helped these two individuals win many races.

I would almost never describe myself this way: I rarely exceed the speed limit! On the other hand, what I lack in dare-deviltry, I think I make up for in curiosity and passion for learning and achievement.

Exercise:

What races are you trying to win in your professional and personal life?

How can you mobilize your curiosity, passion and dare-deviltry to see many checkered flags in the future?

“A good head and a good heart are always a formidable combination.”

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“A good head and a good heart are always a formidable combination.”

– Nelson Mandela, former President of South Africa

Nelson Mandela

I am sitting in a hotel room outside Lansing, Michigan. It is early morning and I am waiting to begin my day by attending a regional coaching meeting where I will make my best effort to expand my mind, to forward my skills as a coach.

Beyond this mind-expanding effort is the realization that I sincerely enjoy being part of a community of fellow coaches. They have hearts filled with love and the generous desire to use their vocation to make their world and the worlds of others a better place.

Exercise:

What effort are you making (and what effort can you make) to strengthen and expand your own head and heart combo, in order to better your world?

“Time is the coin of your life. It is the only coin you have, and only you can determine how it will be spent.”

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“Time is the coin of your life. It is the only coin you have, and only you can determine how it will be spent.”

– Carl Sandburg

This quote originally appeared as #5 in The Quotable Coach series (https://www.thequotablecoach.com/time/time-is-the-coin-of-life). It has been so popular over the past year and a half that I wanted to share with you my father Marvin’s reflection on it. – Barry

When I was a young man and physically fit, I felt somewhat indestructible. Then at the age of 30, I decided to undergo surgery for my duodenal ulcer which was troubling me. Unfortunately in those days, surgery involved losing 80% of my stomach. I recovered nicely and my stomach grew so that I could eat a full meal, but not overeat.

At the age of 40, while driving to a counselors’ convention in Hershey, Pennsylvania, I suddenly got a severe pain in my head. God was with me while I pulled off the road and hailed the first car that I saw: the driver stopped. Soon after I found myself in the Hershey Hospital. I had suffered a stroke.

Now, at the age of 87, I find that each day is precious. I’m looking forward to warmer weather and my condo in Florida. I need to regain some of my strength, endurance, balance and flexibility by swimming regularly. I still have some quarters in the jar!

Exercise:

How many quarters are in your jar – and how will you be spending them over the next few weeks?

What would you do differently if you treated each day as precious?