“The first great gift we can bestow on others is a good example.”

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“The first great gift we can bestow on others is a good example.”

—Thomas Morell, English librettist and scholar

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Image from Flicker by svenlohmeyer

Organizations often engage coaches to support the growth and development of their key people. They see these engagements as investments that can pay huge dividends as they create a culture of coaching.

Of paramount importance to these efforts is the fact that these key leaders and managers are setting an example for their teams, by demonstrating their own coachability and openness to change.

Exercise:

Who in your personal or professional life sets a great example for you to follow?

What can you do to set an even better example for others in your life?

What Weighs You Down

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“It is hard to fly when something is weighing you down.”

– Unknown

weighing

My health club is one of the largest in the region. It includes all the regular exercise facilities you might expect, plus some extras such as tennis courts, basketball courts, swimming pools, and even a climbing wall.

I’ve noticed some of the fittest and most competitive athletes adding extra weights to their ankles or waists, to weigh themselves down and make their normal athletic efforts even more difficult.

When they remove them and are no longer weighted down, they experience a lightness and an added strength that lets them fly a bit higher and further.

Exercise:

Identify the circumstances and issues that weigh you down.

How can you use these personal and professional challenges as a resource to build your capacity to fly once you remove them completely from your life?

hiding in the crowd

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“The world will never discover a person who is hiding in the crowd.”

– Dr. Mardy Grothe, psychologist

520Image from Flickr by Si1very.

When my children were young, we would often play a searching game with them called “Where’s Waldo?” The books in this series consisted of detailed double-spread illustrations depicting dozens or hundreds of people doing amusing things at a given location.

Readers were challenged to find Waldo, a slender, glasses-wearing, nerdy character sporting a red and white striped shirt, bobble hat, and blue trousers.

Unfortunately, most people don’t like taking the time to find the “Waldos” of opportunity in their world. They much prefer opportunities to stand out in the world shouting, “Here I am!”

Exercise:

What special efforts can you make or what goal can you accomplish today that will have you stand out from the crowd?

“You’re looking for three things, generally, in a person: intelligence, energy and integrity…”

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“You’re looking for three things, generally, in a person: intelligence, energy and integrity. And if they don’t have the last one, don’t even bother with the first two.”

– Warren Buffett, American businessman, inventor, and philanthropist

519Image from Flickr by blu-news.org.

If there is a single quality that I look for in a potential coaching candidate, it’s integrity. Whenever I examine the reasons for the success of all the individuals I’ve coached, integrity seems to trump all other factors – perhaps because it’s foundational for many other qualities and characteristics, including:

  • Honesty
  • Quality of relationships
  • Leadership
  • Courage
  • Hard work
  • Dedication
  • Persistence
  • Loyalty
  • Character
  • Service to others
  • Passion
  • Purpose
  • Drive

Just as a building will stand firmly on a solid foundation, a life and career built on a foundation of integrity will stand powerfully and endure.

Exercise:

What actions can you take today to associate with others of high integrity? What steps can you take now and in the future to be the type of person who Warren Buffett would gladly hire?

“There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it.”

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“There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it.”

– Edith Wharton, Pulitzer Prize-winning American novelist

518Image from Flickr by Avijeet_Sachdev.

This quote immediately appealed to me as a great metaphor for the role of a coach. Much of the time, a coach’s focus is to help their clients discover, expand, and give off their light in the form of their vision, values, gifts, and talents.

At the same time, coaches often act as mirrors, reflecting back to each individual this same light to support and synergize with them in order to enhance their power, focus, and effectiveness.

Exercise:

How can you play the role of candle and mirror today as you support others and pursue your own excellence journey?

“Those who are not looking for happiness are the most likely to find it, “

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“Those who are not looking for happiness are the most likely to find it, because those who are searching forget that the surest way to be happy is to seek happiness for others.”

– Martin Luther King, Jr., Civil Rights Leader

517Image from Flickr by mikebaird.

“Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness” is a well-known phrase in the United States Declaration of Independence.

King is suggesting here that perhaps the people who drafted this famous document had it somewhat wrong and that searching for happiness for others is the key to discovering it for ourselves.

Exercise:

How can you seek and support the happiness of others in your personal and professional life?

Consider taking a Post-it® note with the phrase “make their day” on it, and placing it somewhere visible in your office or home as a reminder. I bet your efforts will make your day as well.

“I don’t know who my grandfather was; I’m much more concerned to know what his grandson will be.”

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“I don’t know who my grandfather was; I’m much more concerned to know what his grandson will be.”

– Abraham Lincoln, 16th President of the United States

516Image from Flickr by Aleksandr Zykov.

I’ve always been fascinated by the theories of evolution and natural selection – the work of Darwin and others concerning how various plants and animal species adapt to their environment.

Clearly we all live in very different times from our grandparents. I’m sure many of their characteristics and traits were passed on to us through our parents. What if we had no perspective on this lineage? What if we only had our current environments to navigate?

Exercise:

How can you optimize your own qualities and talents in today’s world, to be all you can be?

“The will to win … the will to achieve … goes dry and arid without continual renewal.”

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“The will to win … the will to achieve … goes dry and arid without continual renewal.”

—Vince Lombardi, American football coach

Image from Flickr by Harry Thomas Photography

Every weekend I have my list of household chores and duties. Among these responsibilities is watering a wide variety of plants. Frequently I will find one or two in a somewhat wilted state.

Seemingly within minutes of giving these plants a drink, I notice that they are once again renewed, reaching out with their leaves to secure their full share of sunshine.

Exercise:

As water renews a plant, what strategies can you employ to maintain, or perhaps expand, your will to achieve and win?

Please consider replying to share your most effective ideas for personal renewal. Thank you.

“The most precious gift we can give anyone is our attention. When mindfulness embraces those we love, they will bloom like flowers.”

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“The most precious gift we can give anyone is our attention. When mindfulness embraces those we love, they will bloom like flowers.”

– Thich Nhat Hanh, Vietnamese Zen Buddhist monk

514Image from Flickr by Uli Emmanuel.

When I am coaching, I strongly believe that my clients deserve my complete attention. They become the center of the universe around which our discussions revolve. How often do you get or give such a level of focus when you’re with your family, friends and colleagues?

Unfortunately, we are all often distracted to some degree by the deluge of information and interruptions that find their way into our world.

Exercise:

Whether you are engaged in a coaching session, a performance review, a staff meeting or simply a discussion with a friend or family member, how will you be even more mindful to give others the gift of your fullest attention?

Pay particular note to how this effort brings forth even more of their greatest capacities and qualities.

“A good life is when you assume nothing, do more, need less, smile often, dream big, laugh a lot, and realize how blessed you are for what you have.”

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“A good life is when you assume nothing, do more, need less, smile often, dream big, laugh a lot, and realize how blessed you are for what you have.”

– Unknown

513Image from Flickr by Worldizen.

Even though I write The Quotable Coach series five days a week, I thought I’d share this seven-part quote in case you wish to get some extra credit.

When we assuming nothing, we often experience far fewer upsets.

When we do more, we almost always achieve more.

When we need less, we are far more likely to experience satisfaction.

When we smile often, we become more attractive and attract others into our lives.

When we dream big, we find our missions in life that give us meaning and purpose.

When we laugh a lot, we experience more joy and fulfillment and far less stress.

When we realize how blessed we are, we experience greater peace and contentment.

Exercise:

Select and engage fully in at least one of these attributes of living a good life and notice what difference it makes for you and those around you.

Try “doing more” by selecting all seven of these to give your life a gold star for extra credit.