affectionate communication of insight

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“Humor is the affectionate communication of insight.”

– Leo Rosten, American novelist

Image of women laughing

Image from Flickr by eschipul.

Stand-up comedians have one of the most difficult jobs on the planet. Imagine waiting 23.5 hours just to stand in front of a packed room with the job of making everyone laugh on cue for 30 minutes, at 11:30 pm!

The masters of this art have an uncanny ability to touch our head, heart, and funny bones with a surprising insight into our inner lives that’s rarely discussed.

Finding those universal notes that harmonize with everyone in the audience is magic, and the resulting synergistic laughter overtakes everyone – causing belly laughs, gasps, and in the best cases, the inability to catch our breath.

Exercise:

How can you learn to develop this special form of communication to deepen your connections with others and attract new people who share  common but hidden affinities and attributes?

“No road is long with good company.”

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“No road is long with good company.”

– Turkish Proverb

530Image from Flickr by Brisbane City Council.

Yesterday morning at my fitness center, I moved from an elliptical machine to a specialized rowing machine called a Concept 2. This particular machine gives you a serious whole body workout if you give it your best.

Fortunately for me, there are only two machines, right next to each other, and my friend Mike just started using the other. As you might guess, the time spent on this rowing journey didn’t feel nearly as long with his good company.

Exercise:

Who are the people in your professional and personal life that make life’s long and challenging journeys seem shorter and more worthwhile?

Who, on the other hand, are those individuals who make those journey feel even longer?

How can you foster and attract more of those people in the first group and diminish or remove those entirely in the second group?

“Love is a fruit in season at all times and within reach of every hand.”

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“Love is a fruit in season at all times and within reach of every hand.”

—Mother Teresa, Catholic saint and Nobel peace prize winner

Image from Flickr by Skyseeker

I do the majority of the food shopping in my family. When I was a young boy, my mom would often take us to the supermarket where we would get a little coaching on how to pick the best produce – including the ripest and sweetest fruits, in season, of course.

Today’s mega-markets have all types of fruits in all seasons due to the advent of worldwide distribution channels. In many ways, these varieties seem a bit less tasty due to the processing required to have them make their considerable journeys.

Love, as Mother Teresa suggests, is the choicest fruit and is always at hand in every season. We don’t even need to go to the market to fill our lives and homes with its sweetness and abundance.

Exercise:

Love not only makes the world go round but also makes the ride worthwhile. How can and will you sweeten your life and the lives of others today, and throughout every season?

Committed but Flexible

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“Stay committed to your decisions but stay flexible in your approach.”

– Tony Robbins, motivational speaker

528Image from Flickr by Shar Ka.

One of my primary goals as a coach is to support the organizations I work with in building coaching cultures. Very few people would disagree with this commitment to help each individual and the organization as a whole realize their fullest potential.

Critical to this journey are the skills of inspired leadership and empowered management. My experience over the years has shown that, with sufficient collaboration and cooperation, creating alignment toward these common objectives is very achievable – yet complete agreement with all the tactics necessary to realize their over-arching future rarely occurs. As today’s quote points out, staying flexible in your approach is essential.

Exercise:

Today, and in the days and weeks ahead, focus on your receptivity to “buying into” important group goals. Inform the people around you that you are absolutely open and willing to be flexible in your approaches to reach these new objectives.

“Man who stand on hill with mouth open will wait long time for roast duck to drop in.”

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“Man who stand on hill with mouth open will wait long time for roast duck to drop in.”

– Confucius, Chinese philosopher

527Image from Flickr by backpackphotography.

As part of my Personal Excellence Training program, I use various assessments to determine the likelihood of success for each person.

One of the traits associated with success is initiative. People who are motivated self-starters take it upon themselves to proactively move in the direction of their goals – such as completing a new project, finding a new customer, or securing a raise or promotion.

Exercise:

Where in your professional or personal life would a booster shot of initiative make the biggest difference for you today?

Secure the support of friends, family, colleagues, or a coach to stretch and grow this ability in yourself and you will have many more roast duck dinners in the years to come.

“If you want to make enemies, try to change something.”

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“If you want to make enemies, try to change something.”

– Woodrow Wilson, 28th President of the United States

526Image from Flickr by Nanagyei.

In a world experiencing constant change, you would have thought by now we would have embraced it. How often do you notice yourself (or perhaps others) resisting, getting upset, arguing, or even getting angry when something or someone changes your (or their) world?

A possible reason for this reaction is the concern about or even fear of losing something such as familiarity, comfort, power, prestige, or control.

Exercise:

The next time you are initiating some change that will affect others, or noticing that some change is coming your way, look for the opportunity to engage others in this process.

A quote that I often use is, “People participate in that which they create.”

Please reply to this message if you happen to try this strategy, and let me know how things go.

“People take different roads seeking fulfillment and happiness. Just because they’re not on your road doesn’t mean they’ve gotten lost.”

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“People take different roads seeking fulfillment and happiness. Just because they’re not on your road doesn’t mean they’ve gotten lost.”

– H. Jackson Brown, Jr., American author

525Image from Flickr by squeaks2569.

The quote above makes me think of the phrase “different strokes for different folks.” If we all thought the same things and liked the same things, we wouldn’t have so many choices in our world.

Consider the following list and notice your own preferences:

  • Your favorite food
  • Your favorite ice-cream
  • Your favorite color
  • Your favorite style of music
  • Your favorite TV show
  • Your favorite sport
  • Your favorite type of vacation
  • Your favorite hobby
  • Your favorite way to spend the weekend

Exercise:

Go out of your way today to discover various roads that people in your professional and personal lives take toward their own fulfillment and happiness.

Perhaps you can take their example, choose your own path, and take the road less travelled by. It just may make all the difference. (You may also want to read Robert Frost’s Poem “The Road Not Taken.”)

“If you want to change what you are doing today, change your image of the future.”

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“If you want to change what you are doing today, change your image of the future.”

– Glen Hiemstra, author and founder of Futurist.com

524Image from Flickr by bjornmeansbear.

This past week, I watched a program on the Science channel, “Prophets of Science Fiction.” Among the authors profiled were George Lucas, H.G. Wells, Isaac Asimov, and Jules Verne.

Through their creative and innovative writings about their worldview of the future, it was fascinating to see their predictions and considerable influence on our society in such areas as medicine, robotics, space exploration, and a host of other topics.

Exercise:

How can you practice being your own personal futurist, exploring and envisioning those futures that significantly impact what you are doing today?

Consider reading physics professor Michio Kaku’s book, The Physics of the Future: How Science Will Shape Human Destiny and Our Daily Lives by the Year 2100, which speculates on possible technology developments over the next 100 years.

Interview: Business Coaching, Soft Skills, “Intrepreneurship” and New Perspectives

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I’ve been interviewed again by Chris Holman of Michigan Business Beat. We had a wide-ranging discussion, centering on coaching within the business world.

In this six-minute interview, Chris and I discuss:

  • “Soft skills for hard times” and how many people were let go in 2008-9 who had technical competencies but didn’t possess the softer skills of leadership, management, and coaching.
  • How people need to be versatile and wear many hats in smaller companies, developing their technical and softer skills.
  • The idea of “intrepreneurship”, including innovation, creativity, and the necessity of emotional intelligence.
  • Welcoming diverse perspectives (e.g. from people much younger or older than yourself).
  • Coming up with new ideas and new approaches by reading a wide range of materials from a variety of industries.

Click play below to listen to the interview:


You can also visit my Podcasts page on my coaching site to hear other interviews with me.

“Stories can conquer fear, you know. They can make the heart bigger.”

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“Stories can conquer fear, you know. They can make the heart bigger.”

– Ben Okri, Nigerian poet

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Image from Flickr by woodleywonderworks

In the coming days, pay particular attention to the stories people tell in your professional and personal life. You can even examine the stories told in the books you read, the shows you watch, and the other forms of media you engage with.

Notice the stories that tug at your heart strings and move you deeply. The common theme is when someone summons the courage from some deeply held belief or commitment to overcome a barrier that seems improbable (or even impossible) to conquer.

Exercise:

Consider picking up a copy of one of the many Chicken Soup for the Soul books by Jack Canfield. The subtitle for the original book reads “101 stories to open the heart and rekindle the spirit.”