Category Archives: Compassion

I believe compassion to be one of the few things we can practice

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“I believe compassion to be one of the few things we can practice that will bring immediate and long-term happiness to our lives.”

—The 14th Dalai Lama, head of Tibetan Buddhism

Image from Unsplash by Marcos Paulo Prado

When I think of the word compassion, what initially comes to mind is saint-like sentimentality.

Given the fact that I have admired the Dalai Lama for many years, I figured I’d look a bit deeper into this important human quality.

Here are ten practical ways to demonstrate compassion daily, synthesized from expert recommendations: (source: Perplexity)

  1. Listen actively without judgment: Give full attention to others through eye contact and undivided focus, avoiding distractions like phones.
  2. Offer physical gestures of affection: Use hugs, handshakes, or a pat on the back to provide comfort and connection.
  3. Smile intentionally: Shift from neutral expressions to warm smiles to uplift others in routine interactions.
  4. Hold doors open for others: Assist those with hands full or struggling, offers small moments of relief.
  5. Perform acts of kindness: Help with tasks like carrying groceries, babysitting, donating to those in need.
  6. Express gratitude verbally: Regularly say “thank you” to acknowledge the efforts of others, from service workers to loved ones.
  7. Ask directly about needs: Inquire “What do you need?” to tailor support effectively, showing respect for their autonomy.
  8. Volunteer time: Dedicate hours to community service, food banks, or mentoring programs.
  9. Use encouraging language: Replace criticism with positive language to boost confidence.
  10. Send heartfelt messages: Text or write notes expressing care, such as “I’m thinking of you.

EXERCISE:

Which of these actions can you include in your daily efforts to demonstrate greater compassion in your communities?

Practicing the middle way

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Practicing the middle way means bringing moderation and compassion to what we do. Taking the extremes in our efforts rarely works for long.

—Calm App Reflection

image from Unsplash by Aziz Acharki

The concept of “Taking the Middle Way” has various interpretations across different philosophical, religious, and cultural contexts.

Here are a few I have found useful in my life journey:

From Buddhism, the middle way emphasizes balance and a path of moderation in spiritual practices and daily life.

In Aristotelian ethics, the middle way suggests that virtue lies between excess and deficiency.

In Politics, the middle way emphasizes an outlook that aims to find common ground between left and right-wing ideologies, seeking compromise and moderate positions on various issues.

In Self-Help and personal growth contexts, the middle way seeks to strike a balance between different aspects of life, such as work and leisure, or ambition and contentment.

EXERCISE:

Where in your world would taking the middle way help you avoid the extremes of life?

Consider your digital consumption, consumerism, health and wellness issues, and your financial management as possible areas to explore.

Make a mistake? Release the guilt, remember the lesson

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“Make a mistake? Release the guilt, remember the lesson.”

—James Clear, author of Atomic Habits

Image from Unsplash by Francisco De Legarreta C.

Today’s quote contains three separate nuggets of coaching:

  1. It encourages us to experiment and try new things.
  2. It tells us to release the guilt or shame many of us experience when we fail or come up short of what we intend.
  3. It urges us to be mindful of these events so that we capture the knowledge and wisdom gained from these experiences.

EXERCISE:

How frequently do you stretch yourself to try new things that may or may not work?

How caring and compassionate are you with yourself when you fail or make mistakes?

How do you capture and keep the lessons learned to limit or prevent yourself from making similar mistakes in the future?

“Heavy hearts, like heavy clouds in the sky, are best relieved by

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“Heavy hearts, like heavy clouds in the sky, are best relieved by the letting of a little water.”

—Christopher Morley, 20th Century American journalist

Image from Unsplash by Road Trip with Raj

Over the past several months I’ve noticed an increase in the water works in my communities.

Beyond numerous strong storms with an abundance of rain, there have been many floodgates of tears released due to various types of heavy burdens.

Today’s quote could go a bit further—just as rain falls to renew the greenery in our world, tears need a shoulder to land on to lighten our emotional loads.

EXERCISE:

Where are you noticing or experiencing heavy hearts in your world?

Where are people in these communities compassionately coming together to share these showers of emotion to help clear the skies of tomorrow?

My experience of life is what I agree to attend to

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“My experience of life is what I agree to attend to.”

—William James, 19th Century American philosopher, historian, and psychologist

Image form Unsplash by Fábio Lucas

How do you spend your days?

Who do you spend them with?

How agreeable and satisfied are your answers to these questions?

To what degree do you feel free to attend to your days as you desire?

How is your ability to choose your path blocked by factors outside of your control?

I recently reached a meditation milestone of 1400 consecutive days—the mindfulness exercises have been of significant value to my life off the cushion.

Building greater acceptance, patience, and compassion, and being more equanimous with life as it unfolds have been bonuses to my initial efforts to be less stressed, and grow calmer.

EXERCISE:

What steps can and will you take in the coming days to enhance your experience of life, and that to which you attend?

 We aim to be generous, kind and compassionate

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We aim to be generous, kind and compassionate. Being human means that sometimes our intentions often miss the mark.

—Calm App Reflection

Image from Unsplash by Norbert Braun

For the past several years, many people — including me — have been looking inward at our lives. Being knocked off balance by a variety of factors has made us more mindful and aware of our place in the world, and has caused us to pursue greater meaning and purpose.

It has been quite gratifying to see countless acts of compassion, generosity, and kindness in my communities and throughout the world. I’ve done better, but not always my best, at exercising these attributes.

In such cases, forgiveness and the resolve to keep trying are noteworthy ways to express our best human intentions.

EXERCISE:

Where have your generous, kind, and compassionate efforts missed the mark?

Where would forgiveness and giving things another go help you fulfill more of your best intentions?

Courage gives us a voice and compassion gives us an ear

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“Courage gives us a voice and compassion gives us an ear. Without both there is no opportunity for empathy and connection.”

—Brené Brown, American research professor, lecturer, and author

The subtitle of my book, The Quotable Coach, is Daily Nuggets of Practical Wisdom. For these times, Brené Brown’s quote really resonates.

Where are you and others demonstrating the courage to voice your values and beliefs?

How compassionately are you opening your heart and ears to the challenges and difficulties of others in your various communities?

EXERCISE:

Where do you see the need for empathy and compassion?

How can and will you demonstrate more courage and compassion to generously serve and support our world with all its needs?

Compassion compounds, giving grows, when you put positive energy into the world

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“Compassion compounds, giving grows, when you put positive energy into the world, you inspire others to pay it forward.”

—Jay Shetty, Purpose Coach, Former Monk, NYT Bestselling Author

Image from Amazon

During my pharmaceutical career with The Upjohn Company between 1981 and 1992, we went through a TQM (Total Quality Management) initiative. As part of our efforts, we were requested/required to read the book Zapp — The lightning of Empowerment by William C Byham PhD and Jeff Cox. The intent was to inspire and create a culture of quality, productivity, and exceptional employee engagement.

The fictitious company in the book produced a product called a normalator, with which we are amusingly introduced to all sorts of Zapping (positive) and Sapping (negative) behaviors that uplift or squash people’s spirits.

EXERCISE:

Notice the zapping and sapping energies and behaviors that occur throughout your day in your personal and professional efforts.

Where and how can you pay forward the positive qualities that energize and inspire others to do the same?

“Run marathons in the footwear of others.”

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“Run marathons in the footwear of others.”

—Author Unknown

Image from Unsplash by Joshua Coleman

Most of us have been taught to walk a mile in others shoes before we are quick to judge. If you have done this during the past year, how has it impacted your life and the way you treat others?

What if, instead of a mile of walking, you ran 26.2 miles in the footwear of some of these individuals, to more fully explore their difficulties and heartaches?

Have you ever watched a marathon in person, or seen the Olympic or Boston event? If so, you would have seen thousands of people lining the routes, encouraging and supporting each competitor to run the best race possible, and reach their goal.

EXERCISE:

How and in what ways can you more fully appreciate the marathons others are running in your world? How can and will you reach out more generously and compassionately to support their courageous efforts?

“A level-headed person is one who doesn’t get dizzy doing good turns.”

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“A level-headed person is one who doesn’t get dizzy doing good turns.”

—O.A. Battista, 20th Century Canadian-American chemist and author

Image from Unsplash by Dayne Topkin

There is no question that the world is a dizzying place these days. What has recently changed in your personal and professional communities that has turned your life upside down?

To help you stabilize your world and regain some footing, many folks are bringing new levels of empathy, compassion, and generosity to those around them. What good turns are you observing these days in your various communities?

EXERCISE:

How and in what ways can you both acknowledge and actively participate in these efforts to realize a more level-headed world?

Please reply to this post with some examples of the good turns you are seeing and doing to regain your footing.