The Importance of Relationships in Your Professional Life, and How to Build Them [audio]

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This is an excerpt from my appearance on BlogTalkRadio’s show On the Dean’s List, with host Dean la Douceur.

In this five minute clip, we discuss:

  • How relationships create opportunities and entry points.
  • Sending hand-written letters and thank-you notes – and why this is so powerful.
  • The amount of choice we have today – and how we make choices between different professionals and service providers.
  • The importance of contributing to your community and helping other people.

Simply click below to play the audio file.

[audio:http://www.dempcoaching.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/Barry-Demp-Deans-List-2.mp3|titles=Barry Demp, “On the Dean’s List”]

If you’d like to hear the whole of my interview with Dean la Douceur (37 minutes), please click here to visit the Podcasts page on my Barry Demp Coaching site. You can listen to it online or download it.

“The man is a success who has lived well, laughed often, and loved much.”

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“The man is a success who has lived well, laughed often, and loved much.”

– Robert Louis Stevenson, Scottish writer

437Image from Flickr by gagilas

It is a Saturday morning following the Christmas and New Year holiday and I am reflecting fondly on the memory of the time I’ve just spent with those closest to me. I am feeling a wonderful sense of success because we all lived well, laughed often, and loved much during this time.

Exercise:

My challenge to you (and myself as well) is to plan to live more successfully based on Stevenson’s criteria – throughout the year, not just during those infrequent “special episode” holidays and gatherings.

Please reply to this message and let me know some of the ways you plan to experience greater success in the future through living well, laughing often and loving much.

“Leave a little behind.”

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“Leave a little behind.”

—Dr. Cornel West, philosopher and academic

Image from Unsplash by Elaine Casap

Over the Thanksgiving and holiday season, it is common to bring a dish to share if you are invited to someone’s home. This custom of sharing our food is practiced in many cultures and provides for greater connection and community.

Leaving a little bit of the dish with the host is customary, if it’s not all consumed over the course of the meal.

Exercise:

In what other areas of life is the idea of “leaving a little behind” not only an act of generosity but a way of creating a small legacy for those you care for and serve?

Please consider replying to me with any thoughts you may have on the subject.

“For fast acting relief, try slowing down.”

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“For fast acting relief, try slowing down.”

– Lily Tomlin, actress and comedian

When I was young, I remember a corny television commercial for Alka-Seltzer. The little jingle that promoted it was “Plop, plop, fizz, fizz, oh what a relief it is!” Catchy, huh?

During the holiday season – or perhaps whenever you wish a bit of relief from the onslaught of life – Tomlin suggests that slowing down may be just the medicine to do the trick.

Exercise:

In what areas of your life do you need to take your foot off the gas and apply the break to experience the relief that you desire?

Who are the coaches, mentors, friends and family members that can help you throttle back?

“Be steady and well ordered in your life so that you can be fierce and original in your work.”

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“Be steady and well ordered in your life so that you can be fierce and original in your work.”

– Gustave Flaubert, French novelist

I like this quote very much. I think it captures me very well, especially as it relates to my career as a coach. I love my work and I find it even more interesting and engaging as the years progress.

Just a couple of weeks ago, I took a fierce and outside the box step to attend one of Sam Horn’s retreats in the Washington DC area. My work during this retreat is helping me bring more originality and creativity to my upcoming projects, which will include a book and perhaps other tools and resources based on The Quotable Coach series.

For me to move in these new and original directions, I find it extremely important for the rest of my life to be steady and well ordered, giving me a strong foundation to build upon in my vocational efforts.

Exercise:

In what areas and on what projects do you desire to be more fierce and original?

What steps can you take to bring greater steadiness and order to the rest of your life, to help you turn this desire into a reality?

One of Sam Horn’s latest books is Pop! Create the Perfect Pitch, Title and Tagline for Anything. Her work in this book will support you on the path to even greater success. I strongly recommend that you check it out here:

http://www.amazon.com/POP-Create-Perfect-Tagline-Anything/dp/0399533613

“After climbing a great hill, one only finds that there are many more hills to climb.”

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 “After climbing a great hill, one only finds that there are many more hills to climb.”

– Nelson Mandela, former President of South Africa

Over the past few weeks, the world has celebrated the long and remarkable life and legacy of Nelson Mandela.

If he were a mountain climber, he would perhaps have scaled more summits than almost anyone in history, and he taught us the important life lesson that it’s all about climbing.

Exercise:

What hills and mountains have you already climbed, where you have stood at the summit with a feeling of satisfaction and accomplishment?

What new hills are before you to challenge your strength and resolve, to further your life journey and your contribution to the world?

“Happiness, that grand mistress of the ceremonies in the dance of life, impels…”

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“Happiness, that grand mistress of the ceremonies in the dance of life, impels us through all its mazes and meanderings, but leads none of us by the same route.”

– Charles Caleb Colton, English cleric, writer and collector

coastline

Image from Flickr by alana sise.

Recently, I began watching a TV series on the National Geographic channel called “Life Below Zero.” The storyline follows the life of four different families living in Northern Alaska in one of the harshest and coldest environments possible.

What makes this show so interesting and intriguing for me is how passionate they all are about their lifestyle, and how happy they all are with their choices, despite the considerable hardship of living off the land in the rugged Alaska wilderness.

Exercise:

What is your current route toward happiness? How can you better embrace the mazes and meanderings that are leading you on your own unique journey?

Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal

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“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else. You are the only one who gets burned.”

– Buddhaghosa, fifth century commentator on Buddha’s work

Image of hot coals

Image from Unsplash by Magnus S

No one in their right mind would ever pick up a hot coal to throw it at someone. In an instant, they would be raced off to the emergency room for treatment, and a very protracted recovery period. Most likely they would also bear considerable scars that would remain for years or perhaps for life.

Exercise:

Take note of the times when you observe the destructive force of anger today.

How can you minimize it, release it, or better yet, replace it with understanding, tolerance and forgiveness, to make for a more peaceful, accepting and loving world?

“Live neither in the past nor in the future, but let each day’s work absorb all your interest, energy and enthusiasm.”

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“Live neither in the past nor in the future, but let each day’s work absorb all your interest, energy and enthusiasm.”

– Sir William Osler, physician and founding professor of John Hopkins Hospital

work

Image from Flickr by Sean MacEntee

In his book Drive, Daniel Pink describes three predominant qualities to life that drive all of us. They include:
  • Autonomy, or the ability to influence our world.
  • Mastery, or the capacity to grow and improve our skills and abilities.
  • Purpose, or a sense of meaning – knowing that our daily efforts are making a difference to our own lives and the lives of others.

Exercise:

Using the three qualities above as a framework for a driven life, how do you plan to focus your interest, energy and enthusiasm today?

Life lived for tomorrow

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“Life lived for tomorrow will always be just a day away from being realized.”

– Leo Buscaglia, author and motivational speaker

Image from Unsplash by Ben White

Anticipation, expectation and the promise of a better tomorrow are powerful forces that can mobilize us to call forth our most committed efforts.

On the other hand, consider happiness, joy, fulfillment, and satisfaction. These emotions are primarily experienced in the moment and not in the future.

Far too many people lose sight of what is just in front of their noses because they are gazing off over the horizons of life.

Exercise:

Regardless of whether you are near-sighted, far-sighted or have perfect vision, how will you take the time to look all around today, to experience the fullest expression of each and every moment?