Life lived for tomorrow

Posted on by

“Life lived for tomorrow will always be just a day away from being realized.”

– Leo Buscaglia, author and motivational speaker

Image from Unsplash by Ben White

Anticipation, expectation and the promise of a better tomorrow are powerful forces that can mobilize us to call forth our most committed efforts.

On the other hand, consider happiness, joy, fulfillment, and satisfaction. These emotions are primarily experienced in the moment and not in the future.

Far too many people lose sight of what is just in front of their noses because they are gazing off over the horizons of life.

Exercise:

Regardless of whether you are near-sighted, far-sighted or have perfect vision, how will you take the time to look all around today, to experience the fullest expression of each and every moment?

The greatest mistake you can make

Posted on by

“The greatest mistake you can make in life is to continually be afraid you will make one.”

– Elbert Hubbard, writer, artist and philosopher

In the assessment process I undertake prior to each coaching agreement, I pay particular attention to the challenges and obstacles that may be limiting my client’s success.

We do identify many external factors that aren’t always in their control, yet it is surprising to discover the numerous internal barriers that limit their success and overall life satisfaction. Among these internal obstacles is the often crippling fear of making a mistake and failing, which often prevents them from even trying something new.

Exercise:

Where (specifically) are you stopped by the fear of making a mistake or failing? Find a coach, friend, family member, or mentor to help you summon the courage to work through these fears.

Sometimes, it is helpful to use the acronym “FEAR” which stands for “False Evidence Appearing Real.” Feel free to reply to me with your insights and the actions you plan to take.

in-focus picture in my head

Posted on by

 “I never hit a shot – not even in practice – without having a very sharp, in-focus picture of it in my head.”

– Jack Nicklaus, American professional golfer

Jack NicklausImage from Flickr by hankinsphoto.com

Jack Nicklaus is considered by many the best golfer of all time. His accomplishments are far too many to describe here. Today’s quote is great coaching for all of us looking to achieve mastery and excellence in any area.

The power of a clear and compelling vision for some future event, even if it is a golf shot, is fundamental to mobilizing our thoughts and actions to make it so. Nicklaus and most people of great achievement seem to have a razor-sharp consistent and persistent ability to concentrate and focus on the prize.

Exercise:

Revisit the pivot point / self-coaching exercise first described here:

www.thequotablecoach.com/effort-2/it-is-common-sense-to-take-a-method-and-try-it-if-it-fails-admit-it-frankly-and-try-another-but-above-all-try-something

Use it to clearly determine your current reality, envision a sharp and focused future, and then, like Nicklaus, take the shot toward your goal.

Don’t be surprised if you hit your mark more often than ever before.

“No man becomes rich unless he enriches others.”

Posted on by

“No man becomes rich unless he enriches others.”

– Andrew Carnegie, 19th century industrialist

Andrew Carnegie was a Scottish-American industrialist who led the enormous expansion of the American steel industry in the late 19th century.

He was also one of the most highly profiled philanthropists of his time, and in an article he wrote titled “The Gospel of Wealth,” he called on other people of means to use their wealth to improve society.

Exercise:

Explore how you could contribute your own riches and resources, including gifts, talents, skills, and abilities to improve the lives of others.

As you give of yourself, you’ll discover what Carnegie knew: your own life will become even richer.

“If you ask me what I came to do in this world, I, an artist, will answer you: I am here to live out loud.”

Posted on by

“If you ask me what I came to do in this world, I, an artist, will answer you: I am here to live out loud.”

– Émile Zola, French naturalist writer

color wheel

Image from Flickr by scui3asteveo

Consider for a moment that the journey of life is actually a form of art. Our lives contain many components, including work, family, community, and so on. Ask yourself, “How expressed and fulfilled do I feel in these (and other) domains?”

Many of us, including myself from time to time, live quiet, reserved lives which seem to provide some degree of protection, security, and safety. These perceived benefits have a considerable cost, in that they limit the upsides of life, including joy, love, excitement, adventure, and much more.

As a coach, husband, father, son and community leader, I have decided to dare a bit more greatly and live a louder life.

Exercise:

Please let me know if you too will take on the challenge to pursue your own form of art and crank up the speakers to your life.

“We seldom think of what we have but always of what we lack.”

Posted on by

“We seldom think of what we have but always of what we lack.”

— Arthur Schopenhauer, philosopher

What do you think are the relative percentages of our focus on what we lack versus what we have? Are they 90/10, 80/20, 70/30, 60/40 or 50/50? You may notice I stopped at 50/50 – and for the purpose of this post, let’s just say that the odds in general aren’t in most people’s favor.

What is your own ratio?

Regardless of your own score, focusing your attention on what you already have is the key to happiness and living a fulfilling life.

Exercise:

For the next week, use a journal or notebook to record your thoughts on what you have and what you lack. Consider using an alarm (perhaps on your phone) to trigger you to capture these thoughts.

After writing about what you have, ask “what else” and add even more to the list, to shift yourself toward a more full appreciation of the richness and abundance all around you.

Feel free to reply to this message with any insights you may have gained from this exercise.

“It’s not who you are that is holding you back. It’s who you think you’re not.”

Posted on by

“It’s not who you are that is holding you back. It’s who you think you’re not.”

— Unknown

Here goes: I’m going to do it. Today, I’m declaring to you, the readers of The Quotable Coach, that I will be writing a book based on the quotes that I’ve written about.

I’m calling this project “Daring Greatly,” based on the book of the same name by Brené Brown.

The challenge for all of us when we take on such matters is that we enter the unprotected world of vulnerability with all its associated fears of inadequacy and potential failure.

Beyond this first step in making this declaration to you, I have also just submitted a proposal to speak at the 2014 International Coach Federation (ICF) conference on this effort. The title is: “A Reluctant Writer: Quotching, from Blog to Book.”

Please consider sending positive thoughts and encouragement my way!

Exercise:

Consider taking on your own “Daring Greatly” project and declare your intentions within your communities. Reply to me with your own public goal and I will compile a list and share it with all of you in a future piece.

Thanks for being open to this coaching and for keeping going despite any thoughts of what you’re not.

As your consciousness expands

Posted on by

“As your consciousness expands, your level of expectation will grow. Keep asking yourself, am I selling myself short? Most of us are.”

—John R. Spannuth, President/CEO of the USA Water Fitness Association

Image from www.mattcromwell.com

The coaching process usually helps people delve into new areas of perception, reconsidering their views of reality and what is possible. This expanded consciousness can either increase our courage to pursue new possibilities or generate fear which can make us stop, or even run in the opposite direction.

Exercise:

In what areas of your life are you selling yourself short due to fear?

How can you summon the courage of your expanded consciousness to foster and realize new possibilities in your professional and personal life?

“Think before you speak. Words can get you into trouble much easier than they can get you out of it.”

Posted on by

“Think before you speak. Words can get you into trouble much easier than they can get you out of it.”

— D. Ernest Green

As part of my Personal Excellence Training, I spend a considerable amount of time developing each client’s awareness of their inner voice. Sometimes this voice shows up as a judge or a critic when it is directed toward others or as a gremlin when it is directed inward.

The problem comes when this inner voice is not monitored for potential damage and is put on external speaker.

Exercise:

Today and over the next week, take particular note of when your inner voice is judgmental or critical. Ask yourself, if I put these thoughts out there, will it forward the situation or simply make me feel justified and right?

When your inner gremlin’s voice is directed toward yourself, the damage is done without uttering a word. In this case you need to catch the critical words in the formulation stage and reframe them to do no harm – or perhaps even to empower yourself in a positive direction.

Creating New Patterns, Facing Change and Managing Your Time Better [audio]

Posted on by

This is a seven-minute excerpt from my appearance on BlogTalkRadio’s show On the Dean’s List, with host Dean la Douceur. In it, Dean and I discuss:

  • The quote “When patterns are broken, new worlds will emerge.”
  • The blocks to change – what holds us back (e.g. fear of loss).
  • Top issues that clients seek my support with and how that’s changed over my career.
  • Time management, particularly in the light of new technology. “Time is the coin of your life.” [link to the quote]
  • Interpersonal communications, social media, and face-to-face conversations.

Simply click below to play the audio file.

[audio:https://www.thequotablecoach.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/Deans-List-1.mp3|titles=Barry Demp, “On the Dean’s List”]

If you’d like to hear the whole of my interview with Dean la Douceur (37 minutes), please click here to visit the Podcasts page on my Barry Demp Coaching site. You can listen to it online or download it.