“Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could…”

Posted on by

“Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities have crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.”

– Ralph Waldo Emerson, writer and philosopher

455Image from Flickr by jovom.

I have a pet peeve: receiving the answer “not bad” when I ask someone how they’re doing. What constitutes a “bad” day and what exactly does “not bad” actually mean? Sure, we all have those days when things don’t go exactly as we planned – in fact, they rarely do. The question to ponder here is how upset you get when this occurs.Consider daily blunders and absurdities as very tiny leaks from a great glass of your favorite beverage. No matter what happens, you can always maintain at least a half-full perspective, knowing that each new day starts overflowing with possibilities.

Exercise:

Try on the idea of “what you get done each day is what you get done” and learn to be satisfied with whatever shows up. With each new day, consciously choose to be fully alive.

“Rain and sun are to the flower as praise and encouragement are to the human spirit.”

Posted on by

“Rain and sun are to the flower as praise and encouragement are to the human spirit.”

—Author Unknown

454

Image from Flickr by solarisgirl

As a former science teacher, I am fascinated by the process of photosynthesis – that plants can use sunlight to make their own food seems nothing short of a miracle.

Man—and virtually all animals—eat these plants as our way of sustaining life. Yet we are feeding only the body portion of ourselves – leaving our souls and spirits a bit empty.

Exercise:

How can you feed others the important nutrient of praise and acknowledgement, and surround yourself with others who will offer it to you in return?

“It’s not what you say, it’s what they hear that counts.”

Posted on by

“It’s not what you say, it’s what they hear that counts.”

– Unknown

453Image from Flickr by brizzle born and bred.

Learning how to communicate effectively is perhaps the highest priority for most individuals and organizations entering a coaching relationship. This may not be what they originally emphasize in the first meeting – instead they tell the coach they want to improve sales, productivity and quality.However, beneath most forms of achievement is a foundation of effective communication – and a critical subset of it is to truly hear and understand others.  A technique to improve your odds of being heard is to practice and master the art of listening to others first.

Listening to others is like emptying the other person’s “expression cup.” When we let others fully express their ideas, we create space for our opinions to enter the open spaces in their minds – especially if these are on the same topic as their ideas.

Exercise:

To turbo-charge your relationship skills and your communication mastery in the year ahead, look to your own ability to honor each and everyone you meet.

Seek to listen and understand others before you seek to be heard by them.

You may wish to download my Masterful Relationships workbook, which includes extra guidance on active listening. Go to http://www.dempcoaching.com/download-your-free-workbooks and enter the password barrydemp (all lower-case).

The Coaching Business, How to Choose a Coach, Plus Free Tools and Resources for You [audio]

Posted on by

This is an excerpt from my appearance on BlogTalkRadio’s show On the Dean’s List, with host Dean la Douceur.

In this seven minute clip, we discuss:

  • My work coaching other coaches (you can find out more about this here).
  • The coaching business and what you should look for when bringing in an outside consultant or coach.
  • How to establish whether a coach or consultant is credible and competent.
  • The tools and resources that I offer on my website – and why I’m willing to offer so much for free.

Simply click below to play the audio file:

[audio:https://www.thequotablecoach.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/Deans-List-3.mp3|titles=Barry Demp, “On the Dean’s List”]

You can sign up to get my free workbooks by following this link.

If you’d like to hear the whole of my interview with Dean la Douceur (37 minutes), please click here to visit my Podcasts page. You can listen to it online or download it.

“Great people are not affected by each puff of wind that blows ill. Like great ships, they sail serenely on, in a calm sea or a great tempest.”

Posted on by

“Great people are not affected by each puff of wind that blows ill. Like great ships, they sail serenely on, in a calm sea or a great tempest.”

– George Washington, first President of the United States

452Image from Flickr by Mr.Thomas.
Have you ever attended a cruise ship orientation? In addition to learning all the fascinating statistics about these floating cities, you will almost always find out about their technology – which includes a very sophisticated set of navigation and stability control capabilities.

It’s remarkable that the crew can get these great ships from point A to point B with minimal disturbance to the passengers’ enjoyment.

How often are you negatively affected by those small (and not so small) puffs of wind in your daily activities? How often do you experience bouts of seasickness that upset your day?

Exercise:

What factors in your world help create your own personal stability control center that can help you sail through life in a more serene and calm manner?

“Quotable quotes are coins rubbed smooth by circulation.”

Posted on by

“Quotable quotes are coins rubbed smooth by circulation.”

– Louis Menand, writer and academic

451Image from Flickr by KristinNador.

One of the great things about coaching is that its impact is “sticky” and often produces a sustainable, long-lasting difference in the lives of those involved. However, many people find it difficult to receive an adequate level of coaching support in their vocational and personal lives.

Powerful and highly memorable quotes are one solution, and the more they circulate through the written and spoken word, the more life’s edges are smoothed.

Exercise:

Visit The Quotable Coach’s website (www.thequotablecoach.com) and find the category of quotes in the sidebar that has the greatest value for you at this point in your life. Capture between one and three of your favorites and share them with people who will be supportive of your efforts.

News: I am working on a book for The Quotable Coach, to be launched in ebook form at the end of March. I will be sharing possible titles soon and would very much appreciate your feedback when I do so.

“The pleasure of doing a thing in the same way at the same time every day and savoring it should be noted.”

Posted on by

“The pleasure of doing a thing in the same way at the same time every day and savoring it should be noted.”

Arnold Bennett, English writer

450Image from Flickr by North Charleston.

Loyal readers of The Quotable Coach will know that coaching often has a lot to do with breaking patterns so that new worlds will emerge. (See my recent audio post for more on this: https://www.thequotablecoach.com/coaching-2/patterns-change-time-audio.)

Bennett’s quote has an appeal in that doing the same thing over and over again the same way at the same time each day can have considerable merits. A daily rhythm of behaviors to provide consistency, stability and a general foundation for the rest of our diverse and wildly varied lives can be compared to a strong building’s foundation or a tree’s root system and trunk.

Exercise:

What current daily habits and behaviors do you currently have that simply work well for you?

What new or additional daily rituals can you embrace or engage in that will make you feel even more centered and happy?

Please reply to this message with some of your current daily rituals that work for you.

“There is nothing that makes its way more directly to the soul than beauty.”

Posted on by

“There is nothing that makes its way more directly to the soul than beauty.”

—Joseph Addison, English writer and politician

449

Image from Flickr by mRio

Beauty has a way of stopping me in my tracks. The past few days here in Michigan have been filled with snow. The beautiful white blanket has literally stopped me from my usual routine of working out at the health club and doing a variety of errands.

Slowing down and taking a few extra moments to embrace this beautiful sight seems to connect me with a deeper experience of being in the world, which I find very important. Unfortunately, many of us, including myself, have to be forced to stop in order to take note of this beauty and the accompanying soulful experience.

Exercise:

Imagine that you are a “beauty detector”, similar to a metal detector. When you come across some beauty, stop and “dig it up” to experience more of the treasures available.

Feel free to reply to this message and let me know what you discover.

“Passion is energy. Feel the power that comes from focusing on what excites you.”

Posted on by

“Passion is energy. Feel the power that comes from focusing on what excites you.”

– Oprah Winfrey, talk show host and actress

448Image from Flickr by danxoneil.

Oprah Winfrey sets a wonderful example of a person of passion. From her early years in broadcasting to her 25 amazing years with her own network show, she lived and worked true to these words.

How passionate are you? What is it like for you on Sunday evening or on Monday morning as you embark on the day ahead?

Exercise:

Pay particular attention to your daily levels of passion, energy and excitement. They are barometers for a fully engaged life.

Be prepared to make some needed changes and to become your own “weather forecaster”, paying attention to these barometers so you can have that feeling of living a powerful and passionate life.

Please consider replying to this message and let me know what you plan to do differently and what results you produce from these changes.

“It was only a sunny smile and little it cost in the giving, but like morning light, it scattered the night and made the day worth living.”

Posted on by

“It was only a sunny smile and little it cost in the giving, but like morning light, it scattered the night and made the day worth living.”

– F. Scott Fitzgerald, American author

447Image from Flickr by rkramer62.

Winter here in Michigan began about a month ago, and along with some of the coldest temperatures in the area due to the Arctic vortex effect, we are experiencing days with the least amount of daylight of the entire year.

A reasonable number of people are affected to some degree in their mood and outlook by the lack of daylight. Some experience a syndrome called Seasonal Affective Disorder that can cause low energy, moodiness and even depression. You can find out more about this here:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seasonal_affective_disorder

Exercise:

Each time you offer or receive a low-cost smile today, think of it as a form of light therapy to help you and others “spring forward” – just as if you were beginning your own personal daylight saving time.