Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness

“Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.”

Brené Brown, researcher, professor, author

Image from Unsplash by William Carlson

Sometimes life’s darkness feels overwhelming: a tough loss, a setback, or a season of doubt.

Yet, it’s in these very moments — the valleys, the shadows — where our true light emerges. Only in darkness do we discover our innate strength, resilience and hope.

Like stars shinning brightly against a midnight sky, your inner light may only become visible in your darkest times.

It’s not the absences of hardship that makes us durable, but our ability to find courage and purpose within it.

When shadows fall, trust that you have a radiant spark waiting to break through. Let these challenges be invitations to ignite your own light, leading you more brightly and more boldly towards new horizons.

EXERCISE:

Perform small kindnesses for others when you feel down or challenged.

Helping others shifts focus away from your struggles and creates positive energy, illuminating your own light through compassion.

 

“No one ever tells you that bravery feels like fear.”

“No one ever tells you that bravery feels like fear.”

Mary Kate Teske, American multi-media artist

Image from Unsplash by Michael Dziedzic

For many of us bravery shows up as a willingness to act despite being afraid.

The connection between fear and courage can show up in a number of ways including:

  • Self-protection where bravery manifests as the courage to protect oneself from danger. This is often called “the fight or flight” response.
  • Demonstrating resilience to bounce back from setbacks, or working to reframe them as opportunities for learning and growth.
  • Being vulnerable and putting ourselves out there despite our insecurities.
  • Using anxiety as a catalyst for action in the face of situations that frighten us — such as public speaking or when trying a new experience.

EXERCISE:

In what ways can you cultivate courage as a skill by gradually facing life’s challenged with greater confidence?

We make our world significant

“We make our world significant by the courage of our questions and by the depth of our answers.”

Carl Sagan, 20th Century American astronomer & planetary scientist

Image from Unsplash by NASA

As a science buff growing up and even today, Carl Sagan has always been one of my heroes. He was a leading figure in popularizing science through his books and the television series Cosmos, which became PBS’s most watched show for decades.

Sagan was instrumental in researching the potential for extraterrestrial life, demonstrating amino acids production from basic chemicals. He designed the Pioneer Plaques and Voyager Golden Recording, intended as a universal message for any extraterrestrial intelligence.

Among his numerous accomplishments was his role as an inspirational mentor to notable scientists including Neil deGrasse Tyson and countless young people who chose to follow in his footsteps.

EXERCISE:

In what ways do you courageously question your place and purpose in life and dig for the answers to make your time here even more meaningful?

Forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past could have been any different.

“Forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past could have been any different.”

Oprah Winfrey, American talk show host, television producer, actress, and author

Image from Unsplash by Alex Shute

Wishing your past had been different is a wasteful pursuit.

What happened happened, and there is yet to be a time machine invented to undo what’s done.

Unfortunately, many of us hold on to the pains, regrets, missteps, bad breaks, and wrongs done to us, and can’t seem to let go.

Playing these events over and over in our minds is like running on the treadmill — you get all worked up, but don’t get anywhere.

Oprah suggests that forgiveness is a key to unlock the gates that hold us back from living lives with greater peace and freedom.

EXERCISE:

Where and with whom would forgiveness release you from reliving the past?

How would taking this courageous step help you move forward to live a more satisfying life?

“If you want to avoid criticism, create less. If you want to avoid irrelevance, create more.”

“If you want to avoid criticism, create less. If you want to avoid irrelevance, create more.”

James Clear, American writer and speaker

Image from Unsplash by Jason Strull

To what degree are you a creator?

What do you and have you offered others over the years, and what feedback have you received?

Consider all the assignments you were given throughout your school years. In most cases you didn’t have the option of saying No without significant consequences.

How about your offerings on a vocational level in which some authority figure sets out the objective to be pursued?

What impact does your perspective of how others view your work have on your willingness to offer examples with your own initiative as the catalyst?

EXERCISE:

Where in your world do you withhold your creative efforts for fear of being criticized?

How would greater courage and a willingness to be vulnerable allow you to champion more of your ideas to make a bigger impact on the world?

“It is not too late to do what you want to do — If you stop waiting for the time to be right.”

“It is not too late to do what you want to do — If you stop waiting for the time to be right.”

James Clear, Author of Atomic Habits

Image from Unsplash by Angelina Litvin

A major focus of many of my coaching engagements is assisting people in professional and personal transitions. Many are highly accomplished, and yet never feel ready to step into the unknown.

The need for one more seminar, degree, or other form of outside acknowledgement rarely quells the not-ready-for-prime-time player in them.

Perhaps readiness is simply a myth that we only discover once we begin.

EXERCISE:

In what area of your life are you fearful that it is too late to do what you want to do?

How will you summon the courage to step into the unknown and discover your readiness once you begin?

“To do the useful thing, to say the courageous thing, to contemplate the beautiful thing: that is enough for one man’s life.”

“To do the useful thing, to say the courageous thing, to contemplate the beautiful thing: that is enough for one man’s life.”

T.S. Elliot, 20th Century poet, essayist, playwright, literary critic and editor

Image from Unsplash by Patrick Tomasso

What makes a good day a good day? What makes a good life a good life?

Take some time to filter a typical day through the lenses of being useful, showing courage, and contemplating beauty.

If you do, you will likely feel a sense of wholeness and warmth inside. I’d bet that you may also be smiling and have a twinkle in your eyes upon this reflection.

EXERCISE:

Today’s quote was shared by Tim Ferris as a nugget of wisdom he was recently pondering.  Consider exploring other works by Tim and T.S. Elliot to enrich your life.

As a frightened man in a burning boat has only one way to the rest of his life

“As a frightened man in a burning boat has only one way to the rest of his life, we must move with courage through the wall of flame into the greater sea.”

Mark Nepo, poet and spiritual adviser

Image from Unsplash by dan carlson

Where and when in your life did you last demonstrate significant courage? What are some examples of facing your fears and jumping into an unsettled sea?

Today’s quote does not suggest we risk life and limb as proof of courage, but does  suggest that we should welcome the heat, and test the waters of our days more often.

What are some current situations in which you are experiencing the flames of fears?

When in the past did you step through such flames, standing taller on the other side?

EXERCISE:

To what degree is your current level of courage putting you on a course to fulfill the vision you have for your life?

When can and will you step up and over the edge of your fears to realize far more of your potential?

 

Our minds put limits on what we can and will do

Our minds put limits on what we can and will do. Acknowledge these inner voices and do these things anyway.

—Calm App Reflection

Image from Unsplash by Nadine Shaabana

A colleague once told me that in almost all situations what stops us in life is stopping.

Before our bodies stop moving, however, comes a warning message from our brain. It warns us to stop for various reasons that can often be refuted upon a more objective review.

When was the last time your mind told you to slam on the brakes?

How valid were your reasons for stopping?

What was gained—or perhaps more importantly—what was lost by not proceeding in your efforts?

EXERCISE:

Where has F.E.A.R. (False Evidence Appearing Real) stopped you recently?

How can you courageously override some of these signals and give things a go when life and limb aren’t on the line?

“Sometimes even to live is an act of courage.”

“Sometimes even to live is an act of courage.”

Seneca the Younger, ancient Roman philosopher

Image from Unsplash by Brett Jordan

In the past, I had a much different view of the word courage. I reserved it for men and women in uniform, explorers, famous leaders, and of course, superheroes.

Today, with a bit more awareness, compassion, and empathy, I see countless acts of courage in almost everyone I meet and get to know.

Examining the big and little challenges people face on a daily basis, I am amazed that so many have the resolve to get up and get going even with the heavy burdens they bear.

EXERCISE:

Where in your world do you observe quiet—and often hidden—acts of courage?

How and in what ways can your offer support to lighten the loads of others in your communities?