“People who need help sometimes look a lot like people who don’t need help.”

“People who need help sometimes look a lot like people who don’t need help.”

—Glennon Doyle Melton, American author and activist

Image from Unsplash by Razvan Chisu

In my work as a coach, I’ve been most fortunate to work with many wonderful and highly successful people. On the outside, most of them present to the world an image of great achievement, self-sufficiency, and confidence.

Surprisingly, when allowed to dig below the surface many of them show their more vulnerable sides, revealing their need for assistance on various personal and professional levels.


Where and when do you sometimes present a “fake it to you make it” image to the world?

Where could you and others in your world need a helping hand that may not be readily apparent?

Who could you ask or offer this needed assistance?

when you connect with people

“When you connect with people from the core, you learn a whole lot more.”

-Author Unknown

Image of people in a circle

Image from JumpCloud

Relationships and connecting with others are among the most valuable skills any of us can have. Books, blogs, podcasts, seminars, and other resources on this subject abound, yet most of us fall short of the level of excellence and mastery we desire.

Today’s quote points to the importance of experiencing one another at a far deeper level than many of us are willing to go. We’re afraid because of the level of openness and vulnerability inherent in the depths those relationships require.


How can and will you be more courageous to express your core beliefs, values, and emotions to deepen your most valued relationships?

“You don’t protect your heart by…”

“You don’t protect your heart by acting like you don’t have one.”

— Author unknown

Image from abc.net.au

Image from abc.net.au

In my school days, I would often hear the phrase “Big boys don’t cry,” on the playground and in school. Being tough and strong were qualities associated with being a male in our society, even at an early age.

To achieve this outward persona, many boys began building shells—even fortresses—around themselves, so they could never be hurt, and never show what many considered the ultimate shame for a man: weakness.

Although this strategy may have provided some degree of protection against life’s bumps and bruises, it also imprisoned these boys in a world of limited connection. They were often removed from daily experiences of joy, happiness, and fulfilling relationships.


Should you see that you tend to use this strategy to protect your heart, take particular note of what it may be costing you as part of the fullest experience of life.

Consider reading the work of Brene Brown in such books as Daring Greatly, and The Gifts of Imperfection, to move yourself to what she refers to as a “guide to a wholehearted life.”

“Out of your vulnerabilities will come your strength.”

“Out of your vulnerabilities will come your strength.”

-Sigmund Freud, Austrian neurologist and founder of psychoanalysis

Brené Brown, from her TED talk (see link below).

Brené Brown, from her TED talk (see link below).

In recent years, the subject of “vulnerability” has received a great deal of media coverage due to the work of authors such as Brené Brown.

In two of her recent books, The Gifts of Imperfection and Daring Greatly, which are based on considerable research, she clearly debunks the idea that vulnerability is weakness and indicates that it is far more correlated with courage and strength, as Freud suggests.


Where would being vulnerable in either your professional or personal life demonstrate the strength of your commitment to something of great importance to you?

Consider watching Brené Brown’s TED talk, The Power of Vulnerability