“Tell a lie once and all your truths become questionable.”
Who are the people in your professional and personal life that you trust implicitly? How do they rate in terms of honesty and integrity?
Alternatively, who are those you do not trust? To what degree do these people stretch the truth, exaggerate, or simply out-and-out lie in order to look good, avoid accountability, or pursue other self-centered objectives?
Trusting relationships are the foundation of strong personal and professional partnerships, and this strength can easily be broken. Once observed, future doubt tends to creep in and undermine what may have taken many years to build.
What can and will you do to strengthen, repair, or rebuild the level of trust with those closest to you?
Consider checking out my Trust-o-Meter Assessment for some strategies that may help.
“You own an army if you know how to win people’s trust and support.”
Image from Amazon.com
Social capitalism and masterful networking are cornerstone skills of many successful people. Take a moment to examine the variety of people who have trusted and supported your personal and professional efforts up to this point in your life.
In his book, Achieving Success Through Social Capital, Dr. Wayne Baker documents the fundamentally understood concept that relationships are valuable not just qualitatively, but also quantifiably. When others help us, we tend to reciprocate by making efforts to help them.
With this giving and supportive perspective in mind, we can all build and foster our own armies to support our personal and professional objectives. We can also act as foot soldiers in the armies of our supporters.
Consider checking out Wayne Baker’s book, or email me and I will send you a PDF copy of my Masterful Networking Workbook, which can be read in 15-20 minutes.
“What is the cost of not doing what you say?”
What is your relationship to the character trait of integrity?
How do you relate to others who are more talk and less action?
To what degree can you be counted on in both good and challenging times?
What oaths, vows, promises, and other commitments have you made over the years in which your integrity was impeccable?
What has it cost you and those around you when your ratio of saying to doing exceeds the number one?
One place to look is in the area of trust and its impact on the important relationships in your life.
Please check out my Trust-o-Meter Assessment to explore potential ways you may wish to bolster your integrity and strengthen the trusting relationships you desire.
“Trust one who has tried.”
—Virgil, ancient Roman poet of the Augustan period
What criteria do you use to determine someone’s trustworthiness?
Select a particular person from your professional or personal community. Using the following questions, rate them on a scale of one to four, with four being high:
- Is consistent and dependable
- Is more focused on others than self
- Is a good listener
- Keeps personal confidences and avoids gossip
- Shows genuine care for others
- Exhibits honesty and integrity
- Is a win-win, consensus builder
Also ask yourself if this person walks their talk, even in the face of obstacles and challenges.
How would you rate yourself – or better yet – how would others rate you on the same trustworthiness scale? How can you always demonstrate yourself as one who would not ask others to do something you hadn’t tried yourself?
“Actions speak louder than words, but not nearly as often.”
-Mark Twain, pen name of American Writer Samuel Longhorne Clemens
image from activerain.com
Who do you trust the most in your personal and professional lives?
Please name a few people, then examine the basis you have for instilling this level of trust in them. How often do these individuals walk their talk? Do they consistently do what they say they will do?
Who in your world do you distrust? Again, name some names to add greater clarity to this exercise. How often do these individuals exhibit the adage, “Talk is Cheap”? How often do they over-promise and under-deliver?
Who within your personal or professional communities would place you on the first list rather than the second?
Consider taking my 10-minute Trust-o-Meter Assessment to examine the degree of trust you inspire in your friends, family, and colleagues.
“Trust that when the answer is ‘no,’ there’s a better ‘yes’ down the road.”
Photo from Flickr by Abhi
Many people are familiar with the story of Thomas Edison’s 10,000-plus unsuccessful attempts to create the light bulb. His philosophy on such a high volume of failures was that the world was simply saying ‘no’ to the most recent attempt. He is quoted as saying, “I never failed. I only found 10,000 ways in which it did not work.”
Undaunted, he persisted in his efforts, always seeing a better way and getting to a ‘yes’ that would eventually light the world.
Where in your own life are you receiving your share of No’s?
How often do the No’s stop you? How often do they spur you on in faith, knowing that the better Yes’s of life may simply be a bit further down the road?
“Trust is the glue of life. It’s the most essential ingredient in effective communication. It’s the foundational principle that holds all relationships.”
– Stephen Covey, American self-help author
image from Flicker by Sam Catch
Trust is not something built with a quick-fix technique. It is developed through consistent habits in your personal and organizational interactions.
On a 1to 10 scale (1 = low 10 = high), how well do you exhibit the following behavior patterns, gluing your relationships together?
1. You avoid hidden agendas and are seen as open and transparent in your interactions.
2. You are sincere, honest, and demonstrate integrity through your words and actions.
3. You focus on giving versus getting, with the best interest of others in mind.
4. You invest your time in others and make their interests your interests.
5. You treat others with respect, dignity, and honor.
6. You take responsibility for mistakes (without making excuses) and clean things up quickly.
7. You are open and receptive to the feedback and contributions that others offer to you.
To dig a bit further into the issue of trust, consider taking my “Trust-o-Meter” assessment
“To trust yourself, to test your limits. That is the courage to succeed.”
– Bernard Edmonds, writer
How often do you test your limits?
How often do you bump up against your comfort zone and stop right there in relative safety?
Is there a secret to realizing our dreams? Archimedes said that if you had a long enough lever, you could move the world.
I’d like you to consider the idea that your commitments are your levers. By using your mind to envision a better future, and then by mobilizing your strength and courage, you can move beyond your self-imposed limits.
List three to five of your highest-priority commitments that are essential for you to consider your life a success.
What can you do today to fulfill these commitments and exceed your limits?