I say yes when I mean no and the wrinkle grows.

Posted on by

“I say yes when I mean no and the wrinkle grows.”

—Naomi Shihab Nye, American poet, songwriter, and novelist

Image from Unsplash by philippe collard

Depending on when you are reading today’s quote, try these mental exercises:

If you read it early in your day, examine the activities in your schedule related to both your professional and personal commitments. How many have you agreed to out of obligation or to not hurt others feeling? What is the cost to your vitality and well-being for betraying or going against your natural desires and instincts?

If you read it later in the day, take a moment to reflect on the many times you said “yes” when your inner voice was whispering or screaming “NO!”? How fatigued or wrinkled do you feel and look at the end of the day having handed over many hours to others to get along and keep the peace?

EXERCISE:

Examine your days carefully through the lenses of the words MORE, LESS, START, and STOP.  Do your best today to save your yeses for the MORES and STARTS and voice your no’s toward the LESS’s and STOPs on your list.  Hopefully you develop only good wrinkles from the smiles that will result.

One key to knowing joy is to be easily pleased.

Posted on by

“One key to knowing joy is to be easily pleased.”

—Mark Nepo, Author of The Book of Awakening

Image from Unsplash by NordWood Themes

We live in a world of constant comparison. It is driving many of us crazy.

Foolishly we believe that constantly pursuing excellence in all things is a sign of worldliness and higher status. Consider this list:

  • The vehicle you drive
  • The food you eat
  • Where you went to school
  • Your career or job
  • Your home
  • Your family and friends
  • Where you go on holiday or vacation
  • The water you drink

When we see ourselves as special, deserving only the best, we can become isolated. When no one or no-thing can meet our high standards on every occasion we are guaranteed to be let down.

What if instead, we seek to discover the specialness in all things that come our way as a path toward greater joy and happiness?

EXERCISE:

Consider reading Factfulness by Hans Rosling. I am sure you will be even more easily pleased with your life.

Where do you ignore your limits

Posted on by

Where do you ignore your limits?  How might you honor them today?

—Calm app Reflection

Image from Unsplash by André Bandarra

Where in your personal or professional life have your competitive spirit and ability to push yourself served you or set you back?

There are two sides to this coin, and sometime realizing our limitations can be liberating and transformative.

By embracing our limits, we can often more fully experience each moment with greater awareness and clarity before we take our next step.

EXERCISE:

Where are you currently bumping up against a limitation where you feel stuck or stopped?

Where might honoring this closed door reveal a different opening or possibility you never considered?

Friday Review: Planning

Posted on by

FRIDAY REVIEW: PLANNING

Are you a planner? How often do you plan out your day or week? Here are a few related posts you may have missed.

 

“What you do today can improve all your tomorrows.”

 

 

 

“Never look back unless you are planning to go that way.”

 

 

 

“No plan is worth the paper it is printed on unless it starts you doing something.”

 

 

 

 

“A life well-lived is firmly planted in the sweet soil of moments.”

Posted on by

“A life well-lived is firmly planted in the sweet soil of moments.”

—Wayne Muller, Author of How Then Shall We Live

Image from Unsplash by CDC

This year has included many significant moments for myself and my family. Some landmark moments included the passing of my dear dad, the move from Michigan to Pennsylvania after 34 years, and the birth of our new granddaughter.

With the dramatic change in venue and our routines, Wendy and I have been paying even closer attention to all the sweet and sometimes sour moments that make up our days.

We see ourselves as gardeners carefully and lovingly planting many new seeds and tending to our plot of the world. We intend to sink deep roots into the sweet soil of our many blessings especially during this holiday season.

EXERCISE:

How mindful and grateful are you about your life?

How connected and deeply rooted are you within your various communities?

How might you better cultivate the sweet soil of each moment to live an even more richly rewarding life?

“To be a good fisherman you must detach yourself from the dream of the fish. This makes whatever is caught or found a treasure.”

Posted on by

“To be a good fisherman you must detach yourself from the dream of the fish. This makes whatever is caught or found a treasure.”

—Buddhist saying

 Image from Unsplash by NOAA

I have a client and good friend named Rich, who loves to fish. Hearing him talk about his passion is a blast. Last year, he invited me to join him in his passion at a local lake.

With an early start on a promising day, we switched places and Rich became my coach. During our five-hour excursion he caught numerous fish and I — with all my giggling — came up with a single small-mouth bass, just prior to us calling it a day. Later, over a meal, I came to the realization that it was our treasured friendship that was the big fish I caught that day.

EXERCISE:

Where have you caught or discovered new things to celebrate and appreciate on your way to some other intended place? Where might detaching yourself from things you expect open you up to new people and experiences to treasure?

“We are not permitted to choose the frame of our destiny. But what we put into it is ours.”

Posted on by

“We are not permitted to choose the frame of our destiny. But what we put into it is ours.”

—Dag Hammarskjöld, 20th Century Swedish Secretary-General of the United Nations

Image from Unsplash by Rolands Zilvinskis

Recently, I have noticed just how often both my clients and I use metaphors to convey various messages and ways of looking at things. A few weeks ago, I attended a coaching program called The Power of Metaphors in Coaching, led by Lyssa deHart.  She described metaphors as idea containers, pathways to offer us new perspectives, and as tools to help make abstract ideas more accessible.

What frames have influenced your life, and where do you find yourself today? How have you splashed and painted your own life mastery with the resources and capabilities on your pallets? What new colors and brush strokes can and will you use moving forward to realize your fullest potential?

EXERCISE:

Please consider discussing today’s quote with a family member, colleague, or coach, to examine this framing metaphor for yourself and see what new pathways it may provide.

What gifts in your life do you often take for granted?

Posted on by

What gifts in your life do you often take for granted?

—Calm App Reflection

Every moment of life is a precious gift.

Open each of these gifts slowly and mindfully so as not to miss a single one — this will help you live more fully and purposely, regardless of what you may accomplish. Don’t be surprised, however, if you accomplish a lot living this way!

EXERCISE:

What tangible and intangible gifts do your intend to offer the people in your various communities? How can putting greater thought and heartfelt intentions into your offerings? Please remember that your time might be your most special gift of all.

You may wish to explore the book, 4000 Weeks – Time Management for Mortals.

Friday Review: Flexibility

Posted on by

FRIDAY REVIEW: FLEXIBILITY

How flexible are you in your personal and professional lives? Here are a few related posts you may have missed.

“Be stubborn about your goals, and flexible about your methods.”

 

 

 

“If your feet are firmly planted on the ground, you’ll never be able to dance.”

 

 

 

“What can you smile about today?”

 

 

 

 

 

“I personally think we developed language because of our deep need to complain.”

Posted on by

“I personally think we developed language because of our deep need to complain.”

—Lily Tomlin, American actress, comedian, writer, singer, and producer

Image from Unsplash by Affix Kusuma

Did you ever notice while watching a nature program that you never see animals complain when:

They are outwitted by their prey?
They deal with inclement weather?
They are injured?
They lose a fight to seek a mate?

They simply press on with things and try again.

Humans are different. It’s pretty common to see others or find ourselves complaining about a bad meal, lousy weather, poor service, our aches and pains, and a host of other matters in life that don’t go as we wish.

EXERCISE:

How might we better use our language skills to acknowledge what is right in the world and simply take the challenges and setbacks life offers with perhaps just a whimper or two?