#46: “Go to the people. Live with them. Learn from them…”

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“… Love them. Start with what they know. Build with what they have. But with the best leaders, when the work is done, the task accomplished, the people will say, ‘We have done this ourselves.’ ”

– Lao Tzu, founder of Taoism

I have been a student of leadership for most of my adult life. I’ve always been fascinated by how leaders generate buy-in, alignment, loyalty, and shared vision. Lao Tzu’s quote points to a critical characteristic about leadership: people are most likely to buy-in when they have been actively involved in the creative process.

When people see their own ideas and fingerprints on the work, they have a sense of ownership that feels true and genuine.

Exercise:

Where in your work, family, and community can you draw on others to create the futures you desire? As long as you get there, who cares who gets the credit?

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#45: “Not everything that is faced can be changed…”

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“…but nothing can be changed until it is faced.”

– James Arthur Baldwin, author and activist

Like most people, I do a lot of thinking about the world: about what I like and about what I don’t like. This includes thinking about myself. Thinking is a starting point for changing something in our world and in ourselves.

As this statement suggests, not everything can be changed. Rather than seeing ourselves as weak or powerless to change things, we must move beyond thinking to acting on our commitments. We need to act, alone or together, to change the things that we can.

Exercise:

Where in your world can you move beyond thinking about change and face it head-on to realize the change you desire?

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#44: “You can only adjust your course after you launch.”

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– Brian Tracy, self-help author and motivational speaker (attributed)

Too many of us want guarantees in life. We want to be sure we win, get the right answer, arrive at the correct destination, even marry the right person. How many of us have failed in our lives, because we did not launch or take the risk of beginning something without any guarantee?

I began writing only a short time ago, not realizing that I could make each thing I wrote better through receiving coaching and counsel and therefore adjusting my course.

Exercise:

Where in your personal or professional life have you been reluctant to launch?

Consider how you might launch now and adjust your course later.

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#43: “Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life…”

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“…It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.”

– Melody Beattie, self-help author

This quote seems to stand on its own. Answer these two open-ended questions and complete the exercise to explore its depths.

How can you shift your desire for more to being thankful with what you have?

How can you stop resisting the life that is before you, and allow and accept what is?

Exercise:

Make a list of all the things, people, and blessings you can be grateful for.

Please add the sheer blessing of being alive to your list – for without this, you would not be doing the exercise!

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#42: “There is nothing noble in being superior to some other person…”

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“…The true nobility is in being superior to your previous self.”

– Hindu Proverb

We live in a competitive world. Just look at sports, politics, even war. We seem hell-bent on defeating others, even to the point of death.

Rarely is there any nobility in this. Is it noble to stand over your vanquished foe and think I’m better than you, I’m a winner, and you’re a loser?

This proverb suggests that there is honor in rising above our primary adversary, ourselves – to be smarter, stronger, more courageous, and more loving. The effort to rise above our previous, more limited, self is noble and no-one is made smaller through the process.

Exercise:

In what areas of your life are you committed to becoming superior to your previous self?

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#41: “If I am walking with two other men, each of them will serve as my teacher…”

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“…I will pick out the good points of the one and imitate them, and the bad points of the other and correct them in myself.”

– Confucius, Chinese philosopher

I have a passion for learning and personal growth. My personal antenna and receiver are often on high alert to the knowledge, wisdom and behavior of others.

One of my favorite questions to ask coaching clients is “how would you describe your best future self?” If they are unclear about the meaning of this question, I often suggest that they identify the qualities of the people they admire – such as integrity, courage, loyalty, and enthusiasm. They can also identify the qualities that they least admire – such as greed, dishonesty, arrogance, and pessimism.

Exercise:

Who are the people that can help you discover and develop your best future self? What are their qualities (good or bad)?

Where can you begin your future journey today?

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#40: “And in the end, it’s not the years in your life that count…”

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“…It’s the life in your years.”

– Abraham Lincoln, 16th president of the United States

Are you a quality person or a quantity person? Would you rather have a single dip of premium ice cream or a half-gallon of the store brand?

How does this idea pertain to our experience of life itself?

We’ve all heard stories of people who lived into their 90s or even to 100, or a marriage lasting 60 years. Were they quality years?

Consider which things, experiences, and lessons along life’s journey make it a quality one for you.

Exercise:

What do you need to start, or do more of, to make each moment a premium moment?

What can you stop doing, or do less of, to make room for the added life in your years?

What does your bucket list look like?

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It isn’t the Mountain

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“It isn’t the mountains ahead to climb that wear you out. It’s the pebble in your shoe.”

– Muhammad Ali, boxer and philanthropist

image of Muhammad Ali

Image from New York Post

We all sometimes sweat the small stuff. We often make mountains of molehills, magnifying issues of little or no importance into giant obstacles and barriers.

How can you keep the small things small, or even find a shrink ray to turn mountains into molehills?

How can you bring a greater perspective to the world around you, so you don’t major in the minors of life?

Exercise:

What issues are you blowing out of proportion right now?

What do you need to think and do in order to shrink these down to size?

The Stream Always Wins

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“In the confrontation between the stream and the rock, the stream always wins – not through strength, but through persistence.”

– Buddha, founder of Buddhism

In my early school years, most teachers would have described me as an average to good student with a bit of an attention problem. But in the eighth grade, and continuing through high school, I found a magic quality that I have used throughout my life. It’s been a key to my many successes.

I realized, through standardized testing such as the Iowa test and SATs, that I scored in the average to good range. Yet in the actual world of achievement, I could simply outwork others to achieve what I wanted.

Exercise:

Where can you apply the power of persistence to outwork others and achieve your goals?

You can’t help someone get up a hill without getting closer to the top yourself.

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“You can’t help someone get up a hill without getting closer to the top yourself.”

– H. Norman Schwarzkopf, US Army General

Image of a team of mountain climbers

Image from Unsplash by Diogo Tavares

When I was a young boy, my mother would always tell my sister to take me with her. I liked being with the big kids, and I really liked feeling included.

Today, I focus much of my life on helping others grow both professional and personally. Through this process, I’ve had the great fortune of meeting many wonderful people, and have gained much satisfaction through my efforts. I also found that I too got “closer to the top” in the priority areas of my own life.

Exercise:

Where could you advise, mentor, or coach others in your life?

How can you expect to benefit through your generosity and care?