Tag Archives: Barry Demp Coaching

It can be helpful examining the game tapes of your days

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It can be helpful examining the game tapes of your days to explore what worked and what didn’t.

Image from Unsplash by Jeremy Bezanger

Consider the following scenario:

It’s mid-November and the big Thanksgiving celebration is coming up for the family. A wave of anxiety and hesitation comes over you knowing that similar gatherings in the past did not go well. You replay these events with your selective memory and clearly know that others were wrong in the way they acted.

What if you actually had a recording of some of these gatherings and had a coach to point out your own missteps and shortcomings?

How could this help you set things right and do much better in the future?

EXERCISE:

What are some of your most helpful reflective practices to examine the game tapes of your days?

Who are the coaches in your life that can offer a far more objective perspective to improve your performance in the games ahead?

Seek out the peace and comfort in the familiar

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Seek out the peace and comfort in the familiar. Enjoy the taste of the same fruit twice.

Image from Unsplash by Taras Shypka

What’s your favorite movie?
How many times have you seen it?
What’s your favorite song?
How often do you play it?
What’s your favorite comfort food?

You get the idea…

With the barrage of media influences these days, there seems to be a lot of pressure to always seek novelty in our lives.

Constantly seeking what’s new to check one more thing off our bucket lists seems to be contagious. This excessive busyness and urgency for more and new rarely offers the enduring peace and comfort we truly want.

EXERCISE:

Where do you seek and find comfort in your daily pursuits?

How does savoring the familiar things in life offer this satisfaction and sweetness?

How do the good and bad examples set by others offer you lessons on how to live

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How do the good and bad examples set by others offer you lessons on how to live?

—Calm App Reflection

Image from Unsplash by Kenny Eliason

When most people think about coaching, they visualize two people having a conversation, or someone speaking with a group such as a sports team. In both cases, speaking and listening seem integral to the process.

What if far more coaching occurred with a bit more show and a lot less tell?

In this case, our sense of sight and our ability to notice significant and subtle behaviors would play a more important role in what we take away and apply to our own efforts.

Our ability to explore the successful and unsuccessful results of our actions can then be applied to our future attempts.

EXERCISE:

Who are the people that set the best examples to help guide your life?

Where are your seeing bad examples to avoid?

How does an objective examination of the results of your efforts provide the best lessons to carry forward through your days?

Friday Review: Attention

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Friday Review: Attention

What has held your attention over the last year? Here are a few related posts you may have missed.

 

“By going out of your mind, you come to your senses.”

 

 

“When you pay attention to boredom, it gets unbelievably interesting.”

 

 

 

 

“For lack of attention, a thousand forms of loveliness elude us everyday.”

 

 

 

“Fill each day with things to learn, launch, and love.”

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“Fill each day with things to learn, launch, and love.”

—Jay Shetty, English author, former Hindu monk, and life coach

Image from Unsplash by jeshoots.com

Recently I had a day with absolutely nothing on my calendar.

Instead of jumping into my default activities to pass the time, I looked to today’s quote to guide my efforts.

Rather than sharing my specific activities, I ask you to consider what you learn, launch, and love throughout your days.

Take a look at the correlation between these activities and having a sense of fulfillment when it’s time to rest.

EXERCISE:

How can and will you be more intentional to actually plan and schedule things to learn, launch, and love in the days ahead?

Try a little tenderness. Direct kindness to yourself and others throughout the day. We all need it!

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Try a little tenderness. Direct kindness to yourself and others throughout the day. We all need it!

Image from Unsplash by Mei-Ling Mirow

When I hear the word tenderness my initial thoughts go to meat. I remember as a child my mom shaking a canister of Adolph’s meat tenderizer over various cuts of meat, especially those that required a bit more molar action.

These days I think about babies and young children and how we adults act around them and their innocent natures. Noticing our efforts at baby talk and delicate handling, these precious little ones get the lion share of our tenderness and kind attention.

EXERCISE:

Where and with whom could you offer a little more tenderness? How can you be even kinder and more generous with your softer side?

With a new day comes new strength and new thoughts.

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“With a new day comes new strength and new thoughts.”

—Eleanor Roosevelt, First Lady of the United States 1933–1945

Image from Unsplash by Dyu-Ha

A few weeks ago my wife, daughter, and grandchildren took a road trip back to Michigan to reconnect with some of our closest friends. Even with a rooftop carrier there was simply no room for me in the little SUV.

This “bachelor time,” as they called it, allowed me to do as I pleased, including binging a Netflix show called Alone.

Now in its eighth season, this reality program places ten expert survivalists in some of the most remote places on the planet to carve out a way of life without any human interactions except for periodic medical checks.

It was surprising to note how with all their adversities including loneliness, starvation, and many real dangers—including grizzly bears—most participants held out far longer than even they expected.

EXERCISE:

How does waking up each morning help you think and act with new strength and optimism about the day ahead?

Aging mindfully and gracefully involves embracing the law of impermanence.

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Aging mindfully and gracefully involves embracing the law of impermanence. Each thought, emotion, and sensation can be a portal to all kinds of new discoveries.

—Calm App Reflection

Image from Unsplash by Kelly Sikkema

It’s funny the experiences we store in our memories.

One that stands out for me is getting my first-grade report card from Mrs. Gray. I received an “E” in work habits with the comment Barry is a nice boy but he needs to pay closer attention. Distractability seemed to follow me and other students—mostly boys—throughout grade school, until I applied to my dad’s alma mater, Central High School. I distinctly remember buckling down to be eventually accepted, which made my dad very proud.

At that time in my life, I realized being mindful and focused was a source of accomplishing the things I desired. What has been your experience of the passage of time?

EXERCISE:

To what degree have you embraced the law of impermanence over the years? How is the aging process and your mindfulness efforts opening new portals of discovery?

Friday Review: Education

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Friday Review: Education

What are you doing to continue your education? Here are a few related posts you may have missed.

 

“Careers are a jungle gym, not a ladder.”

 

 

 

“Decide to DIY your education.”

 

 

 

“I was made for the library, not the classroom. The classroom was a jail of other people’s interest. The library was open, unending, free.”

 

 

 

People may hear your words but they feel your attitude

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“People may hear your words, but they feel your attitude.”

—John Maxwell, New York Times bestselling author, coach and speaker

Image from Unsplash by Frame Harris

In many ways all living things—including ourselves—are like machines.

We run on fuel and generate billions of electrical impulses each second. Even when we examine ourselves on an atomic level, electric and magnetic fields are constantly flowing.

When two particles—and in the case of today’s quote two people—interact, the energy fields between them can fluctuate.

Words alone compared to words with a positive attitude can be felt, and an experience of alignment and resonance can be experienced.

EXERCISE:

How and in what ways can and do you generate the feelings of excitement and engagement in others?

How do the people you know use their positive attitudes to offer you their magnetic personalities to engage your deepest listening?